Thats.........thats alot of pot

Tonight we dine......ON POT

Its written in douche. I am extremely fluent due to my proximity to Connecticut. I'll translate.
"Hey, how it going?"
"Who are you?"
"Its Big John"
"I know a lot of guys named John"
"I'm the guy with nice hair, female companions, and cotton candy"
"I don't know you"
"You gave me this number"
"I don't remember where I know you from"

"I met you last year at a party. I'm in LA and there's gonna be a big party"
"Where is it"
"At Seth Green's place. He throws a good party. Lots of titties."
"You mind if I come by? Whats the address?"
"Its Saturday night. Lots of hot girls. Some girls from Mexico are coming and my cousin is coming down with some girls from The University of Doucheland."
"I'll come. What should I wear?"
"Don't dress like a bum."
"Obviously."

"Cool! I had a crazy night at my house last night. A girl peed in my car!"
"What the fuck! *Laughs out loud* Did you make her walk home?"
"I will when she wakes up. The dumb girl has been sleeping in my car all day."
"Keep the window cracked to give her air."
"Are you serious?"
"No! Wake her up!"
"You scared me. I went to the grocery store and she didn't wake up."
"That's creepy"
"I took a picture when I went to get ground beef."

"No way! Is she good looking?"
"This picture is not very flattering, but she is good looking."
"Is she breathing?"
"What are you, a doctor?"
"No, I wish. The make a large amount of income per year."
"I'm afraid to check on her."
"What the fuck?"
"Come down and check if she's alive."

True.

no its written in black people language

that would be ebonics.. or however you spell it.. idk im white...

well done sir! hahahaha

no it will not, as the picture shows, the forks are only lifting the other forks so they cancel out and tip

a straight circle