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Cartouk    

Rank #26067 on Comments
Cartouk Avatar Level 216 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Personal Info
Age: 23
Date Signed Up:2/26/2010
Last Login:4/16/2014
Location:The Dirty South
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#26067
Highest Content Rank:#19796
Highest Comment Rank:#5345
Content Thumbs: 50 total,  108 ,  58
Comment Thumbs: 1613 total,  2256 ,  643
Content Level Progress: 91.52% (54/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 11% (11/100)
Level 216 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 217 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Content Views:1185
Times Content Favorited:11 times
Total Comments Made:879
FJ Points:1677
Favorite Tags: rucka rucka (2)
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latest user's comments

#63 - Fallout: New Vegas. Who else has it preordered? 08/10/2010 on Gamers being awesome on... 0
#37 - No, we have an actual problem. Hang up so we can call the US. 08/10/2010 on Religous Flags +2
#442 - **Cartouk rolls 758,704,325** fack book status " I WANN…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/10/2010 on Chuck Does What Chuck Wants -1
#446 - anonymous (08/10/2010) [-]
**anonymous rolls 769,281,422** if ure a gurl say '' im a lesbian'' if ure a guy say'' im gay ''
#458 - anonymous (08/10/2010) [-]
**anonymous rolls 648,081,055** i masturbate to edward
#137 - Do you like pokemon, but cant find your old game or its broken… 08/08/2010 on charizard +2
#232 - I would have named it "A huge penis" so it would say… 08/08/2010 on Mewtwo -1
#35 - how ya doin gunny? 08/07/2010 on All the sex you could want 0
#34 - you forgot ensign.  [+] (1 new reply) 08/07/2010 on All the sex you could want 0
User avatar #45 - Typhlosion (08/07/2010) [-]
I was only doing Enlisted ranks. I wasn't including Officers.
#95 - ...Also thats a woman. An older womwn prob one of their grandm… 08/07/2010 on Shit Bricks 2 0
#93 - ......It's a mirror.  [+] (2 new replies) 08/07/2010 on Shit Bricks 2 0
#94 - HowNormal (08/07/2010) [-]
Oh I see. I thought the woman on the right was facing the away from the camera. Whats the point of having the guy in the picture, its still a mindfuck that there's a picture at all.
User avatar #95 - Cartouk (08/07/2010) [-]
...Also thats a woman. An older womwn prob one of their grandmothers. Thats the mindfuck. grandma taking a pic of granddaughters bikini bubble wrestlin. Bad Guardianship FTW.
#82 - Hmm tough fight ot predict. Kai lan is Asian so she knows kung…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/07/2010 on Ni Hao Kai Lan VS. Dora The... +9
User avatar #108 - DrProfessorPatrick (08/07/2010) [-]
not only does kai lan kno kung fu, she has a tiger, a monkey, a koala bear, a rhino, a polar bear, an elephant, and a bad ass old asian guy who knows kung fu as well on her side. but dora has Diego and his sister on her side along with diego's tiger and a backpack that can transform into anything.
#88 - anonymous (08/07/2010) [-]
shit fuck ass up the penis area shit fuck cunt hole
User avatar #89 - Elixir (08/07/2010) [-]
And that's how you count to 11 children
#84 - anonymous (08/07/2010) [-]
You are my hero.
#213 - you can't stop feeling pain you can ignore it for a short time…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/06/2010 on Mr putin goes to war -1
User avatar #224 - RandomGuard (08/06/2010) [-]
He's not saying they're immune to bullets, he's saying they're trained to endure more pain,
but this thing is, neither side would win, it would be a massive stalemate, neither side willing to invade the other,
'cause if America invaded Russia, they'd have to do it before winter comes, and if Russia invaded America they'd demoralise the population to the point they don't fight back.
#204 - Torture doesn't stop bullets. 08/06/2010 on Mr putin goes to war -2
#197 - Umm.. have you ******* seen the the Rangers,Delta…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/06/2010 on Mr putin goes to war 0
#207 - anonymous (08/06/2010) [-]
Umm, you guys do know you can't win a war with special forces. War isn't a video game. Special Forces depend on Air Support, Artillery, and other units. So no, the Spetsnaz isn't going to stop a F-22 or a A-10 Thunderbolt by their selfs, and Navy SEALs aren't going to stop a PAK FA T-50 and a Ka-52 by their selfs.
#33 - I learned this from Hellboy one. They talk about this guy in t…  [+] (5 new replies) 07/24/2010 on This Man -3
#38 - ScottishMinor (07/24/2010) [-]
I learn't it from the book "I, Vampire"
#50 - anonymous (07/24/2010) [-]
I learned it from history books and being genuinely interested in Russian religious history.
#48 - anonymous (07/24/2010) [-]
i learn't it from 8th grade social studies
#54 - fatmancometh (07/24/2010) [-]
I was completely obsessed about Rasputin for about a year. I first read about him in high school. After that I read any book and watched any documentry I could find about Rasputin.

PS, Troy Sanders from Mastodon totally looks like him
User avatar #55 - GaryMotherfckinOak (07/24/2010) [-]
I learned this from Cracked.com
#1 - THESE ARN'T YOUR DADS PUNS, THESE ARE TURBOPUNS.  [+] (4 new replies) 07/21/2010 on Super pun 0
#2 - ThePokemon (07/21/2010) [-]
They're so punny, Mother Nature will be like "Punnnyyyy Doooowwwwn..." And you'll be like "Fuck You!" And kick her in the face with your PUNNY LEGS!
#3 - AlternateEnding (07/21/2010) [-]
If only I understood what you just said. lol
#4 - ThePokemon (07/21/2010) [-]
http://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs
#5 - AlternateEnding (07/21/2010) [-]
Ahhhhh
#78 - guess she didn't learn the first time. swallow or it goes in your eye. 07/21/2010 on heres another omegle scary win 0
#1419 - All but non religious. I kinda believe in some kind of god. 07/16/2010 on you must comment if it... 0
#118 - If your doing gay porn then the mac guy is perfect for the &qu… 07/12/2010 on PC be Trollin +1
#252 - Because they believe that he was real and was born just not th… 07/12/2010 on Cool Inventions pt.2 0
#144 - **Cartouk rolls 52** Justin bieber sucking a cock 07/10/2010 on 4chan -1
#319 - You Know you can vote again every 20 minutes right. Forward FJ… 07/08/2010 on WE'RE THE BEST WEBSITE 0
#37 - I love how burrito cat's eyes go from -.- to 0.0. 07/08/2010 on SURPRISE BUTTSEX +12
#186 - Kids these days...they totally ripped this off wayne's world. 07/08/2010 on Totally Kyle 2 -2
#126 - **** just search randy gardner on google 07/08/2010 on Amazing Abilities II 0
#125 - Actually the longest recorded time without sleep is 11 days. T…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/08/2010 on Amazing Abilities II 0
User avatar #126 - Cartouk (07/08/2010) [-]
Shit just search randy gardner on google
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User avatar #7 - LightSlayer (04/17/2010) [-]
what do you hate
User avatar #8 to #7 - Cartouk (04/17/2010) [-]
Yes i totally hate black people. I got called a racist so many times for embracing my heritage that I said **** it I say that I'm a ******* racist.
User avatar #18 to #8 - Captain Confusing (04/23/2010) [-]
yeah, hating black people is totally what our white heritage is all about, right? they can't call us racists for hating black people, we're just embracing our kkk heritage.
User avatar #19 to #18 - Cartouk (04/23/2010) [-]
Your a dumbass the KKK didn't come up with the stars and bars nor is it their standard. It was the battle flag for the confederacy. That is my heritage my great-great-great grandfather fought for the confederates in the civil war and that is how i honor his memory. So stfu ,,!,, -_-,,!,,
User avatar #9 to #8 - LightSlayer (04/17/2010) [-]
why?
User avatar #10 to #9 - Cartouk (04/17/2010) [-]
Because I am from the south and I display the rebel flag people called me a racist. So I decided if thats what they call thats what I'll be.
User avatar #11 to #10 - LightSlayer (04/17/2010) [-]
so do you acully hate black pepole
User avatar #12 to #11 - Cartouk (04/17/2010) [-]
Depends on the person. I judge by personality rather than color but most blacks I've met are ignorant ******* and i dislike them extremely, but I have met quite a few intelligent blacks that i have the utmost respect for.
User avatar #13 to #12 - LightSlayer (04/17/2010) [-]
well than your not racist
User avatar #14 to #13 - Cartouk (04/17/2010) [-]
I know that but to many liberals post hate comments and I use that to warn them to stay the **** away.
User avatar #15 to #14 - LightSlayer (04/17/2010) [-]
so you just hate libs
User avatar #16 to #15 - Cartouk (04/17/2010) [-]
Basically
User avatar #17 to #16 - LightSlayer (04/17/2010) [-]
your a phony hey every one hes a phony
User avatar #3 - ImABlackGuy (04/16/2010) [-]
Hi Im a Black guy.
User avatar #4 to #3 - Cartouk (04/16/2010) [-]
Hello Mr. Black guy. How are you this fine day?
User avatar #5 to #4 - ImABlackGuy (04/16/2010) [-]
Fairly well, on my way to the cleaners to get my dress suit back then off to law school.
User avatar #6 to #5 - Cartouk (04/16/2010) [-]
Well that is good. I'll let you get back to that, good sir. You have a fine day now, ya hear.
User avatar #1 - Zyklone (04/16/2010) [-]
WE KICKED YOUR ASS IN THE CIVIL BIOTCH!
User avatar #2 to #1 - Cartouk (04/16/2010) [-]
HAHAHA and now we have all the guns in the country so you live by our suffrance. So STFU
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