Tard Stories Thread?
Tard Sharia: Thread.
as a Janitor tor a High school
e school to work tor
one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry
rearry is rude, messy, and always shits startled (Which seems to be every single tucking time you speak to him)
haal' s out and I' m mopping the floors
xterm comes wathing around the corner and sees me
trl see him
points at me and laughs,
then scuttle: away
the bathrooms on the upperclass
ml just Finished and tell when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking
xterm and one other lard kid are trashing the bathroom
cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped chine hinges and a tucking sink ripped out oi the wall
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continuation of the war
he other and maintenance crew notice the little fucknugget too
begin calling Jerry and the lard he' s friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always shits , and the lard kid he' s with always
drags one )
alter a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not stain...
around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy
wimpy grabs it, and using his lard strength of a thousand to hurl it up into the light nature above them. Shattering it into pieces.
the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping
7/ it this paint, its and I need to get the we bastard back
i trl notice that he' s always in the an room alter school where one of the not teachers always stayed late
swollowing him, I notice that he' s attempting to tint with her, and leaning in tn smell her butt as she picks up trash
around her room
he' s about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one at the Assisted Admin' s needs her
gives me this hate titled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder
The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch ofthe day
watch him wander outside with the rest of the mos to do " exercises"
trl calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the
Warten the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes on in the opposite direction
trl turn on the sprinklers toil fume
why is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while painting at me and blubbering
mm his lard guard and I watched him lull tome into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mud
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Ultl, the Score I needed to figure out something else
Harry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore it he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana
he sets his lunch down and gm to get a drink, I wander up and replace his iced wan banana' s oi all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, ant rotten... then walk
watch as he walks up, looks around... then starts screeching and nailing his arms wildly, knocking his into the ground and doing some sort oi lard ritual that
involves humping the table
when he spots me
lull on charges at me, fortunately... i had just mapped the flour in from oi he
proceeded to down, and then his way down the hallway where the Wranglers secured him.
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at " we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and ive him alone tor good
Eut ncl... Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up
won the last week oi school they stayed alter
trl was too busy trying to help the drama department move shit all the stage so they didn' t destroy the lights
Jr's I was busy, they snuck into one oi the janitorial closets and shit in the mop bucket, Ming it with water and then using two mops to smear the shit water all over a nice Mean hallway
we rm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench watts hem this direction
round the comer to see the hive smearing m down the hail and smattering it on the walls and the lockers
see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of shit
Then they try to charge me
seems they forgot that they used shit water on the Hour and it was still wet
They both slipped and tell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again
A was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a lull on at just shaking on the ground and screeching
Splain was writing around and crying/ spinning... looking like atop he was going around so fast
Parta on the way
Part 2 of
called up the Administrators and the school police other but they didn' t respond
called up a m other Caftans who were harrased at this scene
helped me unit)" some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake oi has
wimpy and stain bath latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them on to the an room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived
Mn that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found , too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it horn the outside, couldn' t reach, and then just began hailing on the walls, smearing shit
everywhere and even on campy.
they both got into a tight, slapping each other on the lace and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the new
Admins called his mother and (Simply: mother to come get them, along with two police others
who tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage or them breaking the lights, ant them smearing the hallway in shit
sin the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the room by heme" as I watched with a smile
wimpy was suspended, and Stain was never heard from again.
And that my Friends... is haw the war was won.
I gut to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome.