Alright Story Time
>Partying, drinking, and ******* around generally with friends one night.
>Drove to some field, start screaming and wrestling.
>Normal Saturday activities.
>Drunk as balls after a while.
>Start running in circles yelling "I am the walrus!."
>Sober-est friends laughing my ass.
>Trip and fall into big hole.
>Knocked the **** out.
>Woke up with massive headache combo from hangover and fall.
> ****** dark as Sauron's soul.
>Yell friend's names.
"Guys it's Anon..."
>Realize I'm all alone.
>Start groping walls.
>In some sort of cave.
>Slowly walk feeling walls.
>Tripping over rocks and from darkness.
>Cave narrows till can feel both walls.
>Worries will end in dead end, and I'll die.
>Round curve, and see light up ahead.
>Run happy to light.
>Oh **** .
>See village on fire with goblins being massacred by horse-mounted goblins.
>See goblin nearby about to get pwned.
>Run and punt other goblin.
>Horn sounds and marauding goblins retreat.
>Trying to look tough shout "You better run you green dicks!."
> No response. They ride off.
>Feel tug on pants. Look down.
>Goblin I saved thanking me.
>"No problem it's all in a day's work." Corny superman line. Come on I'm under pressure.
>"Will you come with me to see the King? He won't listen to us when we tell him we need more protection from cavalry raids."
>"Sure bud. It's dangerous to go alone. Maybe he can help deal with this **** ."
>I have no better ideas.
>Travel with goblin bro for weeks through dark forests, high mountains, and plains. Develop friendship.
>Sleeping one night in an inn when two bandits burst in.
>Try to fight them, but they grab goblin bro. Hold knife to his throat.
>"Go on without me. Get to the King."
>Open window, and jump out. Shed tears for goblin bro.
>Run for hours until I'm exhausted.
>Wake up next to road with mud all over me.
>See cart with hay coming and yell at driver.
>"Do you know where the King's castle is?"
"Yeah it's two miles up the road. Hop in I'll give you a lift.
>Relax in hay. Think about goblin bro. Sad feels.
>Arrive at castle gate and get off.
>Planned next part with goblin bro.
>Walk up acting like noblemen.
>Demand to see the King.
>Wearing gold robes and stuff brought with all village's money.
>Act like large phallus.
>Guards look ********** , but let me in.
>Lead me into enormous throne room.
>Short, fat dude on throne chilling.
>Beseech and **** . Seem unfazed.
>Daughter walks in. Brown hair and green eyes.
>Oh **** .