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Morbid thought of the day

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Views: 27296
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Submitted: 09/06/2013
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Comments(151):

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#27 - asilaysniping (09/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
If I was to off myself, I'd go to a real high-class restaurant. Ask for a reasonably pricy meal e.g Lobster.
When I get my meal, I quickly take a bite out of it before the waiter scurries off to deliver some other food. I then proceed to yell really loudly about how "this lobster tastes terrible" then pull out a gun and shoot myself.
#1 - chewythewolftwo (09/06/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Hue
#4 - tostito (09/06/2013) [+] (3 replies)
hfw
hfw
User avatar #63 - maxismahname (09/06/2013) [+] (7 replies)
If I wanted to kill myself I'd do some crazy **** first since I can't get arrested or anything because I'd just kill myself
#68 to #63 - ichbinzweijahrealt (09/06/2013) [-]
So, like this?
#73 - iherdcows (09/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
If I ever wanted to kill myself, I'd go to a grocery store, get 4 jugs of milk, and knock them all over. I would then yell "NOOOOOOO NOT THE MILK, I CANT TAKE IT" THEN SHOOT MYSELF.
I'd kill myself over spilled milk.
#35 - InfiniteFetus (09/06/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I've come up with two fun ways to off myself: For one, I'd like to jump off a building, curl myself into a ball, and then just as I'm close enough to the street for everyone to hear me, I'd yell "Caaannon baaall!"

Or, i'd like to walk up to a friend with a shotgun behind my back. I'd say, "I'm thinking of a gauge between 12 and 20; what is it?" And then whip out the shotgun and blast myself.
#59 - zomitlu (09/06/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Suicide is for weak minded faggots
Suicide is for weak minded faggots
#66 - remylabeau (09/06/2013) [+] (8 replies)
Suicide is so selfish.
User avatar #26 - luthervonappledorf (09/06/2013) [-]
I want to hire a plane, fly over Everest, jump out in one of those flying squirrel suits and aim for a group of climbers or base camp.
User avatar #47 - braveblue (09/06/2013) [+] (6 replies)
And then you pull it since, well, you are stronger than that. And you know that plummeting to your doom isn't the answer. After you safely hit the ground you ponder about what would have happened if you hadn't pulled the cord. Then you realize you would have died, since you're probably a dumbass.
#52 to #47 - lolfire (09/06/2013) [-]
The choice to die is a human right.

When I get diagnosed with terminal cancer, which is going to happen sooner or later, I'm a smoker. I sure as **** am not wasting away in some ****** sterile hospital surrounded by people who couldn't give a **** about me and without the money they wouldn't be there.

When it comes to it, I'm leaving on my own terms.
User avatar #89 - mightypen (09/07/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Squat, Pray, Leap, AAAH, Touchdown!
User avatar #42 - sirhyden (09/06/2013) [-]
I'd strap a bomb to my stomach, go into a restarunt, order everything, eat as much as I can and exclaim I can't eat another bite, I'd explode! Ask the waiter to bring it back but just before he does say, I think I'll manage one more chip, takes a bit into it and kablammo!
#129 - Womens Study Major (09/07/2013) [+] (1 reply)
sashathefolx, if you're contemplating on doing this there are so many reasons to live, besides it would probably not effect him or if it does he would have a change of career, or it could possibly ruin his career. People would see that he has had one death on his watch, not knowing that you committed suicide just that someone died he would probably have no business because people would think that he/she/it is an unsafe instructor. You're valued on this earth, if not to yourself... just have to find out who that someone is.
~ Garth
User avatar #132 to #129 - sashathefolx (09/07/2013) [-]
Erhm...

I'm nowhere near contemplating suicide. It's just one of those dark thoughts your mind kinda wanders off to late at night.
#103 - crazyinfamous (09/07/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #85 - dedaluminus (09/06/2013) [+] (2 replies)
When I die, I'm going to have all of my funeral arrangements handled by an attorney that nobody in my friends or family knows. I'll be cremated, and my ashes spread across the upper mesa of the Scout camp I used to work at. Then, a funeral will be held, ostensibly to bury my body. Closed casket. But the plinth will be rigged to fall over halfway through the ceremony, and show that the coffin is filled with 200 pounds of steel plates, ten thousand dollars in cash, an AK-47, a diagram of the White House, and geo coordinates for every White Castle in the world.

Just so my friends can occupy themselves trying to figure out what happened.
User avatar #95 - BowChickaBowWow (09/07/2013) [+] (1 reply)
In Paratrooper school, they told us that about 20% of people survive the impact, but most die either before help arrives or en-route to the hospital. Also, They showed us pictures. It's not a pretty way to die.
#80 - mishappp (09/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
To bad that all skydiving places use chutes that automatically deploy at 750 feet in case you passed out.
#57 - psydoc (09/06/2013) [-]
Unfortunately you're one of the few who survive.
#19 - Womens Study Major (09/06/2013) [+] (5 replies)
If I had to kill myself, I would tie a piece of razor wire to the celling, put it around my neck, and superglue my hands to the sides of my head, so that when I jumped, it would seem as if I...

TORE MY OWN ******* HEAD OFF!
User avatar #38 to #19 - MoparMan (09/06/2013) [-]
until people saw that your head is glued to your hands and there's a razor noose in your ceiling.

not to mention a very evident cut and blood trail, instead of stretched muscles and leaks
#18 - sidathon (09/06/2013) [-]
hfw he watches
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