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Think next time brain, please!

Tags: Ouch
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Views: 35300
Favorited: 29
Submitted: 08/28/2013
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User avatar #9 - malignantlybenign ONLINE (08/29/2013) [-]
had a similar occourance
>driving my jeep
>heading home from the historical museum I helped get going
>wearing an Ivy cap because looks good when you're a big dude with a beard
>see something wiggling on bill of cap
>must be a string this cap is getting old and the doors are off
>suddenly something is on my glasses
>no wait on the inside of my glasses what is it?
>big ass ******* wolf spider that was living in the roll bar
>tactically **** myself and maintain control over my jeep
>whip glasses off and try to shake the ****** off out the door
>get home and try to not cry myself to sleep...

no buneo
#3 - xxangelisxx (08/28/2013) [-]
I should be sorry for you, OP, but this is too hilarious.
User avatar #22 - jajathezombie (08/29/2013) [-]
> Sitting in my car on campus between classes
> Nice day, windows down, sunroof open
> See a big ass ******* wolf spider on my dash
> Grab febreeze can on the floor
> Battlecry for courage
> "NOT TODAY ************ "
> Swing bottle
> Spider jumps away
> Crawls into a crack in my door
> Holy **** it's inside my car door
> Start frantically spraying febreeze into the crack, standing on my seat at this point
> "I WILL ******* END YOU"
> Notice a huge black dude standing by a car a few spaces over
> Been watching me the whole time
> Shakes his head
> "Damn, white people be crazy..."
#17 - danruaul (08/29/2013) [-]
punching your dick doesn't hurt. Hurts to punch your balls.
User avatar #29 to #17 - waterbottlemanboy (08/29/2013) [-]
For me, a dick punch is so much worse than getting hit in the balls.
#19 - artjunk (08/29/2013) [-]
Similar story happened to me the other day:
>Visit my grandparents place for family and ****
>They live out on a farm in the country and i live in the city
>Not too insanely far away so I usually enjoy a stroll to go back and forth
>Helped them out with some chores while I was over
>Loading/unloading bales of hay, feeding livestock, typical cowboy ****
>Finish up chores, have a spot of dinner then head back to my place
>Throw on my jacket I had discarded in the corner of the barn
>Nice mid afternoon, suns starting to set all beautiful and **** , so i decide to walk and catch the sight of it
>Get back to the city as afternoon foot traffic is really kicking in
>Kind of annoying but whatevs, I'm a big guy so crowds don't bug me much, plus its ****** majestic outside
>Start to feel a tickling sensation under my arm
>Must be some hay from the barn floor, try my best to ignore it
>Suddenly tickling moves up my shoulder
>An angry spartan horde of spiders erupts across my chest
>Slap myself full force in the chest with an apish grunt
>Spiders fall off but I'm sketched AS ****
>Just want to get home and shower in hydrofluoric acid but people are still bustling around everywhere
>Most everyone in the vicinity of my neanderthalic outburst is watching me at this point, like "wtfmate?"
User avatar #20 to #19 - artjunk (08/29/2013) [-]
>Resist the urge to run so i just kinda pick up the pace, speedwalkin style
>Feel more tickling as I get closer to the heart of the city where I live
>Sweat beading on my brow as panic is setting in, just want get this jacket off asap
>People really getting perturbed by my rush
>Making my way down town
>Walking fast
>Faces pass and I'm home bound
#8 - falloutreaper (08/28/2013) [-]
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#13 - geisterhaft (08/29/2013) [-]
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#42 - bbqbacon (08/29/2013) [-]
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#40 - sandwitchman **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#14 - John Cena (08/29/2013) [-]
this is sausage to me
#15 to #14 - utasco (08/29/2013) [-]
wurst ?
User avatar #37 to #15 - alhemicar (08/29/2013) [-]
Aw **** you almost got me
User avatar #36 - alhemicar (08/29/2013) [-]
I love spiders. They kill nasty bugs for me and feed on them. It's a win-win!
User avatar #41 to #36 - ludislavonac (08/29/2013) [-]
They catch flies and mosquitoes, they are bros.
User avatar #54 to #41 - alhemicar (08/29/2013) [-]
Of course /skroz c:
#28 - missions (08/29/2013) [-]
>Yesterday Sucked
#11 - stoicnick (08/29/2013) [-]
**stoicnick rolled a random image posted in comment #3600233 at Friendly ** "if i go down you're going down with me ************ !"
#1 - yeoldsnipermissile ONLINE (08/28/2013) [-]
Just pictured this in my head as an animation, Angel Beats style, slow-motion, dramatic music. Now I'm going to chuckle at this at random for the rest of the 			*******		 day. Thanks OP.
Just pictured this in my head as an animation, Angel Beats style, slow-motion, dramatic music. Now I'm going to chuckle at this at random for the rest of the ******* day. Thanks OP.
#6 - jabone (08/28/2013) [-]
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#5 - Sunburn (08/28/2013) [-]
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User avatar #52 - miyutoso (08/29/2013) [-]
OMG, you just killed my brain deciever!
User avatar #51 - decieverofthegods **User deleted account** (08/29/2013) [-]
First I want to make it clear that I do not have Arachnophobia.
However about 6-7 months ago I had a dream which gave me intense Arachnophobia for about 2 weeks to the point where I didn't like going to sleep. If you have Arachnophobia I wouldn't suggest reading on.
>be me 15 years old, male
>have a dream ( normal dream to my memory)
>(dream is still continuing) I dream that I wake up.
>as I open my eyes I realise that there's a spider resting on my EYE.
>don't know what to do so open both eyes to try and see if it runs away
>instead of running away it gets stuck between my eye socket and my eyelid and starts ******* squirming
>Try and punch myself in the eye to kill it but I can't get to it as it's in there deep
>Wake myself up by punching myself in my eye, got a minor black eye.
>MFW I had to explain I got a black eye from punching a spider in my head during dreamception.
#44 - muxammle (08/29/2013) [-]
Similar experieance this morning,

> driving from home to work.
> fly in my car
> sitting on my arm and leg and stuff
> beingirritatedashell.3gp
> sits on my nose
> ******* slap my face as hard as i can with rage
> realize what i done
> face red and tear in my eye because of the force of the slap
> the person driving next to me looking at me
> feeling stupid till now
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