>Having issues with a dude in college. Let's call him Jeff.
>We were ambivalent toward each other 80% of the time.
>The rest of the time, we were at one each others throats.
>Hanging out with mutual friends one night.
>Late Tacobell run.
>I get my usual order. 3 burritos, extra cup of nacho cheese, Dr. Pepper.
>End up taking food back with friend and Jeff.
>Jeff is in passenger seat, holding the food.
>He got a five buck box, my bag of excellence is on top.
>He is moving the bag around to keep it from denting his precious box.
>The lid of the cheese pops open and starts leaking out of the bag onto his box.
>He freaks out, screams, and literally throws my bag of food out the window.
>I look at him in absolute awe. I slam on the breaks and he looks at me like I'm the crazy one.
>I start to turn around in a parking lot.
>He starts screaming at me about getting him home before his food gets cold.
>I tell him that I'm going to get more food.
>He pulls my E-brake and refuses to let go until I agree to take him home.
>I wind up to hit him as a cop pulls up.
>Someone in the building saw the commotion and called the patrol.
>I try and tell him my story, but Jeff is screaming about attempted assult.
>I give up, tell the cop it was me and agree to go straight home.
>Miss an arrest by inches since we were miles from home and no one in the car could drive it. (Stick shift)
>I drop them off and Jeff picks up my drink, takes a big sip and drops it in the trash.
>Says they gave him the wrong thing, even though he didn't order a drink.
>I drive off and spend the night alone, seething.
>I go to his room the next morning.
>He answers the door and i grab him by the collar.
>"Listen close asshole., I hate you, and if you ever cross me again, I will cut off your dick and put it in a bag. Then I will travel the globe, finding all of your relatives. I will cut off their dicks too and once that bag is full, I'm coming back for you. I will force feed you every, single, ounce of that bag of dicks. Including your own. Capice?"
>He stutters and stumbles back as I let him go. He falls through his door.
>With the door open, I see his entire family inside, staring at me in awe.
>I don't even know what to do.
>Take off running.
>Hear feet pounding the pavement behind me. It's his brother.
>Turn a corner and stop. Fighting time.
>He comes around the corner, starts laughing.
>"Good on ya man, Jeffs an asshole."
>Turned out ok.