Lucky cap

>On date with hot girl from college
>Take her back to my dorm
>Things are getting heated
>I know it's because of my lucky baseball cap
>She leans in to kiss me
>Lucky cap gets in the way
>She gently reaches for it
>"Let's just take this off"
>I stop her
>I don't want to take my lucky cap off, its the only reason she wants to fuck me and without it am nothing
>"Why not?"
>Try to think of good excuse
>Remember the grace and wisdom Shrek taught me when I was younger
>"Because I have helmet hair."
>Stares at me blankly
>Erupts into a fit of laughter
>Calls me a loser
>Gets up to leave, as she does, ground begins to shake
>Mighty green figure enters through the window
>Grabs her and rips her clothes off >Shrek inserts his monumental ogre meat into her asshole
>Grips her tight, she cannot move
>He signals for me to come ogre
>I start raping her too
>Double penetration
>Shrek and I double team her until her tiny body passes out from the pain
>We cum inside her simultaneously
>She collapses on the ground
>Pregnant
>Shrek kisses me on the forehead >Whispers "I'm a delivery boy"
>Escapes through open window >mfw she doesn't remember the event and decides to have the baby
>mfw 9 months later Shrek delivers the baby
>I'm a delivery boy
>Helmet hair
>Shrek is love, Shrek is life