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Dungeons and Dragons

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Submitted: 01/05/2013
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#1 - youallfags **User deleted account** (01/05/2013) [+] (3 replies)
#14 - studmaster (01/06/2013) [+] (3 replies)
> Be playing D&D 3.5
> Be in city
> Go to merchant to buy things after quest
> See the price for a 10 foot ladder is 10 gold
> Price for one 10' pool is 5 gold and 10 1' sticks is 4 gold
> Buy ladder and separate to 2 10' poles and 10 1' sticks
> Sell them back to merchant
> Make 1 gold profit
> MFW I took all of the merchants money and became rich at lvl 5.
#10 - chrolt (01/05/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>Had one playthrough on Warhammer Fantasy, where i DM'ed.
>The characters had to escort a caravan too some city.
>They came across a burned down city, and saw a religious alter in the town square.
>Now if you know Warhammer Fantasy you know that you do not **** with the humans religion.
>One of my players is an elf and kind of a dickweed at times.
>He pulls out his dick and starts pissing on the altar, middle of the road, broad daylight everyone can see him.
>Litterally the first thing he said when I told him there was an altar.
>Townspeople get pissed, and start advancing on them
>Another player played a big burly dude who intimidated them down.
>An elf pissed on an altar for the emperor, and got away with it.

<-- MFW
#57 - ichbinlecher (01/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>Be DM
>My first time playing as well as DMing
>Find out about random encounters
>Decide one should "randomly" happen at night
>After they set up camp in a small clearing
>Me: "You hear a noise behind you"
>Dragonborn Paladin: "I turn around and breathe fire on it!"
>Me: "You hear a sound...and breathe fire on it?"
>Paladin: "Yeah"
>Me: "You don't even know what it is"
>Paladin: "But I know it's evil"
>Me: "Okay...roll initiative"
>He is going first
>Breathes fire...into the trees surrounding their camp
>Now there is a forest fire and a bad guy
>Bad guy slain...still have massive fire to put out
>Cleric casts wind wall around it
>Physics discussion takes place
>Consensus is giant pillar of flame seen for miles

The premise of the campaign: most forms of magic (arcane) had disappeared
In game time to complete the quest: 1 week after this event
In game effect: there is now a cult of sorcerers and wizards that worship that spot

Pick related: Cleric and Pally's face when they converted many people to the worship of another god.
#55 - krasnogvardiech (01/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
BUT IS IT A MATCH FOR THE MIGHTY LOS TIBURON?
#3 - thebw (01/05/2013) [-]
Made chanell - DunegonsNDragons
Pic related - DnD engineers
#61 - lelelefrench (01/06/2013) [-]
>Be Dm
>One of the first games I have Dm'd
>One of my party is a barbarian named Nemo.
>Since he's a Babarian he focuses on raping and pillaging
>Stupidly I say that ill give them 2 health for every time they have sex.
> Barbarian who is already extremely powerful turns into a tank who cant die and kills everything.
>He's raping a dwarf in an inn, other party member a Hell mage with a giant hellhound comes up to his room.
>As soon as he walks in Barbarian guy asks me if the dwarf can explode when he cums if he gets a crit, I say sure thinking he wont get it.
>rolls a 20 and the Hell mage is splattered with blood and cum as soon as he walks in.
>Hell mage rips off Barbarians dick and murders him.
>Barbarian is later revived as a god of fertility
>Whole party dies to a titan dragon and I make them make new characters.
#19 - admiralshepard (01/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
"More cunning than a fox that's graduated form the Oxford University with a degree in cunning?" Tell me I'm not the only one who got that reference.
#63 - lunasmidnight **User deleted account** (01/06/2013) [+] (4 replies)
&gt;Be tenth level rogue   
&gt;already earned favor of Olidammara   
&gt;come across Great Wyrm Red Dragon by mistake   
&gt;team's like ohgodwhy   
&gt;Me: &quot;don't worry, I got this.&quot;   
&gt;pulls out luck blade with 3 wishes on it.   
&gt;Me: &quot;I wish to kill the dragon in one hit with this sword.&quot;   
&gt;DM makes the wish roll.   
&gt;My team's faces when I ended up running up the dragon's back, jumping over the horned ridges of it's ears, landed on it's nose, and plunged that damn sword so far in it's eye socket, I lobotomized it.   
&gt;The legend of Haseo grew that day.
>Be tenth level rogue
>already earned favor of Olidammara
>come across Great Wyrm Red Dragon by mistake
>team's like ohgodwhy
>Me: "don't worry, I got this."
>pulls out luck blade with 3 wishes on it.
>Me: "I wish to kill the dragon in one hit with this sword."
>DM makes the wish roll.
>My team's faces when I ended up running up the dragon's back, jumping over the horned ridges of it's ears, landed on it's nose, and plunged that damn sword so far in it's eye socket, I lobotomized it.
>The legend of Haseo grew that day.
#6 - montybalboa (01/05/2013) [+] (8 replies)
I'd really love to try playing this sometime, but I don't get it. I know the DM is the Dungeon Master who controls the story but how does everything else work? Wouldn't there be so many possibilities that the DM couldnt prepare for them? Confused as ****
#7 to #6 - IAMDIZZYONFANTA (01/05/2013) [-]
DM here. You wing it. You create a basic outline of a world, and then fill it as they come across it. Also you can somewhat predict what players do by providing quest hooks and whatnot. I can PM you a better explanation if you want.
User avatar #25 - hallazabassist (01/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I was DMing a DND game, and in the middle of a fight, the sorcerer decided to try to throw a teammate, ended up critically failing, and grabbed the team member by the dick, who then came, and his improvised weapon (semen) killed one of the kobolds... that was an interesting night.
#49 to #25 - theguniaofdoom (01/06/2013) [-]
This, is for the lulz.
This, is for the lulz.
#62 - archoninterface (01/06/2013) [+] (7 replies)
Only ever played 2 games of D&D, because I don't have those kind of friends.
Was given choice of traveling to human settlement, elven, or dwarven.
Dwarven cuz I'm 8'1"
End up in pub
Get in fight with guards and a guard captain, throw chair at bartender(had a crossbow)
Breaks liquor
20 minute confrontation with guards.>Get impatient
Breathe fire>Alcohol is flammable
Blew up whole pub, knocked unconscious, burn wounds and the like.
Leave dwarf city, my character doesn't get along with them ever again.
User avatar #70 to #69 - Noah (01/06/2013) [-]
An 8'1 dwarf would be amazing.
User avatar #60 - aldheim (01/06/2013) [-]
My first time Dungeon Mastering, with my friends who were new to the game, one of them decides he wants to be a ******* minotaur, another wants to prestige as a dragon disciple at the first level, and a third decides he wants a shotgun.

My friends are dicks.
#46 - Dakafal (01/06/2013) [-]
First time playing D&D
>no idea what the **** is going on
>the guy that's DM is known for being a troll
>finally finish creating a character
>one guy in the group has already played the quest we're doing
>starts meta gaming like an ass
>knows hidden location of some treasure
>beats us to the location
>DM creates some OP guardian to try and stop him
>rolls 20's like a boss and kills it
>can hardly contain his joy as the DM tells him what the treasure was
>to be a troll again, the DM tells him that he finds two "Hitler Mustaches"
>they give a -5 to charisma, but make you irresistible to fraulein
>he meta gaming friend decides this is acceptable, and continues with the game
> apparently this is normal
>decide this is the best game ever

mf as I'm watching the proceedings
User avatar #32 - JohnE (01/06/2013) [+] (7 replies)
I never understood D&D. Can DMs just keep **** hidden from the other players, and make **** up as they go, so that the others end up with **** like this in the end?
User avatar #33 to #32 - ader (01/06/2013) [-]
yes. yes they can. I'm primary DM for my group, and making **** up as you go just to **** with them is fun as hell.
#4 - pukki (01/05/2013) [+] (1 reply)
These are like spoonys counter monkey stories...I like them. MORE!
These are like spoonys counter monkey stories...I like them. MORE!
User avatar #74 - FJisGAY (01/06/2013) [-]
and here is the video
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb75TpU31wk
User avatar #56 - Riukanojutsu (01/06/2013) [-]
>Be DM
>Im the only one with experience with DnD in general
>Decide to give everyone pet dragons for teh lulz because pets dragons are cool
>Somehow manage to do a cool story for the dragons
>Try to push the story
>"OMG riuka youre too pushy"
>FINE THEN!
>"Youre in the city of McDerp. What do you want to do?"
>"What can we do"
>"Its a city, theres a lot of stuff to be done"
>"OMG riuka give us something to go with"

I stopped being a dm
#17 - ANONpirate (01/06/2013) [-]
I couldn't have thought of a better plan if I tried. Well played Sir.
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