| All | Popular >
|
funny
|
pokemon
|
feels
|
ponytime
|
fucking-tumblr
|
4chan
|
morbid-channel
|
animemanga
|
skyrim
|
fucking-science
|
lol-channel
|
doctor-who
|
cryfar
|
titan-time
|
fucking-guns
|
drwho
|
women-logic
|
oc-comic-makers
|
adventure-time
|
katawashoujo
|
fucking-maths
|
roosterteethtime
|
antisemitism
|
inspirational-p
|
videogames
|
gameofthrones
|
youtube
|
darksoulstime
|
toonhole
|
bendingtime

Walmart greeter

So, after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, I lasted less than a day…. About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, ugly, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly: “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?” The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say: “Hell no, they Ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?” So I replied: ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, I just couldn’t believe that anyone would have sex with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”
+499
Views: 21322
Favorited: 42
Submitted: 12/09/2012
Add to favorites Subscribe to hugora E-mail to friend
Share on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(21):

Leave a comment
Refresh Comments
 
Show:   Top Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
Show All Replies
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply +30
User avatar #1 - sepheroth (12/09/2012) [+] (5 replies)
Does Walmart still have greeters?
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply +18
User avatar #8 - amandatoddd **User deleted account** (12/09/2012) [-]
“Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

What an oddly specific greeting they instructed you to say.
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply +12
#2 - overlordss (12/09/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Edit Image Reply +10
#13 - idkijustdo (12/10/2012) [-]
"Welcome to Walmart. Get your shit and get out!"
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply +6
User avatar #9 - sergeantamerica (12/09/2012) [-]
Well this joke, I can honestly say, is older than the internet. The first time I heard this was 1993, whereas the modern internet was developed in 1996 or 1997.
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply +3
#19 - zagnorathh (12/10/2012) [-]
hfw
hfw
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply +2
#20 - N. Korean citizen (12/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
This is funny, because Walmart doesn't have greeter's anymore.

-Works at Walmart.
Hide Hide All +Fav (1) Edit Image Reply +2
#11 - cjseaman **User deleted account** (12/10/2012) [-]
Burrrrrrrrrnnnnnn....
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply +1
#15 - N. Korean citizen (12/10/2012) [-]
[url deleted] html
[url deleted]
[url deleted]
[url deleted]
http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showthread.php?2958902-Wal-Mart-Greeter-joke

fuck you claiming this joke as your own, this joke has been passed around more than your sister
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply 0
#23 - elemenohpe (12/10/2012) [-]
>Work at CT (Canadian Tire) >Me and Co-worker putting out stock while grumpy old man comes up to us and asks where water coolers are >Take him down the aisle to show him the selection >'These aren't fucking water coolers!' >Co-worker age 25 says 'Yes these are water coolers' >'NO I WANT ONE THAT CAN STAND UP IN MY TRUCK!' >'Water coolers are meant for indoor recreational use' >'NO THEY FUCKING AREN'T YOU FUCKING MORON!' >'Yes they are.' Points at the word 'Water Cooler' on box >' YOU'RE ALL FUCKING USELESS! YOU DONT KNOW SHIT FROM SHIT! YOU'RE PROBABLY 28 YEARS OLD WORKING AT A RETAIL STORE! MAKE SOMETHING GOOD OF YOURSELF YOU FUCKING RETARD! GO TO SCHOOL, GET AN EDUCATION!' >Co-Worker gets serious face on him and yells 'DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING DISRESPECT ME, I SERVED 2 YEARS IN AFGHANISTAN AND I PUT MY LIFE OUT TO SAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND I COME BACK AND SEE THIS KIND OF SHIT?! NO FUCKING THANKS, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE!' >Managers hear commotion and come over to hear what happened. >Man gets kicked out and banned from store and co-worker gets a week off to cool down. >MFW
>Work at CT (Canadian Tire)
>Me and Co-worker putting out stock while grumpy old man comes up to us and asks where water coolers are
>Take him down the aisle to show him the selection
>'These aren't fucking water coolers!'
>Co-worker age 25 says 'Yes these are water coolers'
>'NO I WANT ONE THAT CAN STAND UP IN MY TRUCK!'
>'Water coolers are meant for indoor recreational use'
>'NO THEY FUCKING AREN'T YOU FUCKING MORON!'
>'Yes they are.' Points at the word 'Water Cooler' on box
>' YOU'RE ALL FUCKING USELESS! YOU DONT KNOW SHIT FROM SHIT! YOU'RE PROBABLY 28 YEARS OLD WORKING AT A RETAIL STORE! MAKE SOMETHING GOOD OF YOURSELF YOU FUCKING RETARD! GO TO SCHOOL, GET AN EDUCATION!'
>Co-Worker gets serious face on him and yells 'DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING DISRESPECT ME, I SERVED 2 YEARS IN AFGHANISTAN AND I PUT MY LIFE OUT TO SAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND I COME BACK AND SEE THIS KIND OF SHIT?! NO FUCKING THANKS, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE!'
>Managers hear commotion and come over to hear what happened.
>Man gets kicked out and banned from store and co-worker gets a week off to cool down.
>MFW
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply 0
User avatar #21 - avastbluesky (12/10/2012) [-]
this is a damn old repost OP, what the fuck?
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply 0
User avatar #18 - hellsjester ONLINE (12/10/2012) [-]
ointment her kingdom for some ointment
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply -1
User avatar #6 - mondprinzessin (12/09/2012) [-]
lol this used to be an old joke but i think this may be better
Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply -3
User avatar #5 - hellsjester ONLINE (12/09/2012) [-]
I love this guy who posted right now lol
 
Leave a comment
<
>
 Friends (0)