Would you?

If it was a 400 page book, about 390 of those pages would be "And then he masturbated"

I wouldn't read the book, I would give the book to a filmmaker and just watch the movie.

im too lazy to read

I would open the book and change shit I didnt like.
Like for example if on page 1357 it says i was hit by a car, I would cross out "car" and write in "victoria secret tourbus" instead

no because then it becomes a fixed timeline and has to happen

Wouldn't most of the book be you reading it if you actually read it?

No, because the book would then be about me reading the book. Because that's what would happen. I would give my friend the book, and then tell him to give the important information that I could use.

Answers to tests, lines that I could use to pick up girls, etc.

Yes, I would be able to pick up girls, because in the book, there will be all the lines, and all the things I "would" have said, however. If my friend tells me not to say for example. "Boy, I love cancer!" and her mom died of that, then the book will tell you how your friend told you, how that was a bad idea, and you should try something else, that way you will say exactly what you need in order to get the girl.

It will also tell you detailed information that you could use to your advantage, like if someone have dirty secrets in their basements. The book would tell you that your friend will send a text, containing a vast detailed information on what you find.

Basically, it will this way. Tell you everything that you could think about doing, before you do it. So you don't have to do it.

the book would end with you reading the book

SPOILER ALERT
The main character jerks off the entire time

Huge Ass Book

Spoilers!

Spoiler Alert

That main character dies at the end.

Assuming you read the entire book, wouldn't a large portion of it just be you reading it? And if it explained how you read about reading about reading ect., wouldn't it create a forever loop?

booking it...

Well if you start reading it, wouldn't that technically be written in the book?

So you would read about yourself reading a book about reading a book about yourself

I'd complain to the author for making such a sucky book

I would read the part about me reading the book.

"Starts booking it"
Took me 5 minutes to realize he meant the guy ran off.
Seriously. The word "book" three different times?

Spoilers.