I had to stay in this Halloween (boring I know, but some of us work everyday).
Suddenly struck by the white hot lightening bolt of inspiration.
Bought a Jimmy Saville costume (for my non-British readers, he's a very well known and reviled paedophile with a... distinctive dress sense).
Acquired large cigar.
Every time the doorbell went for trick or treaters I'd answer it Yelling "JIM'LL FIX IT!"
Disgusted Parents took their kids away immediately, several complaints, threat of legal proceedings.
I saved all those children from tooth decay. I'm a good person.