Bad jokes seem funnier over the internet

I've got a similar one.


>Be 19.
>Walking through the university to class.
>Minding my own business, listening to iPod.
>Something hits my ankle.
>I trip from not paying attention.
>First instinct is to turn around and say "Watch where you're going!"
>Blind girl.
>Fuck.
>Apologize and quickly move through the fields of angry glares on my way to Tartarus.

Shit sucks yo.

I've always wanted to know what sex is like with a blind girl. I think it would be an amazing experience. I know its random...

she wouldn't see you cumming.

Sex is never random

Try Katawa Shoujo and go for Lilly

Yeah, because a 4chan VN has to be realistic.

>4chan VN

Katawa Shoujo should be looked at without the expectation of finding a dumpling of 4chan in it. Only one see thus far has seemed fucked up, and thats the Emi lemon scene

>Be me
>Go outside with my sister as she gets the mail
>She says "The sky is really dark, probably going to storm."
>"Eh, it's not as dark as Africa"
>Realise what I said
>She gets pissy

My family doesn't like offensive jokes. Though I should be thankful it wasn't my cousins, who are half Aboriginal. (Black natives of Australia.) They get SOOOO PISSED at racism.

Well you shouldn't have been such a rude cunt in the first place.

I've got one
>be 18
>going to a new school because of recent medial issues
>first day girl runs right into to me and knocks me over
>look up and notice she has no legs
> just stumps and those running things that para-Olympics use
> we get into a nice convo and she says shes looking for a running buddy
> shes really cute i need the exercise i agree
>the next morning we run and flirt a bunch
> I decide to be alpha and i ask her out
> she says yes
>feels good man
>date goes really well
>i take her back to her dorm and we kiss goodbye
>ithinkiminlove.jpg
>asks me if i wanna come to her room
> say yes before she finishes her sentence
> we head up to her room and close the door
>she starts kissing me

>fuck ya its going down
>take her to the bed
>we fuck
>best night ever
>next morning i wake up to her crying
>i ask whats wrong
>she says not to worry about it
>i press further
>she tells me to get out
> reluctantly i leave
>trys ignoring me for almost the next week
>I finally find her in a good spot
>start pouring my heart out
>tell her that i love her and i want this to work
>she smile then embraces me
>then she whispers in my ear
>she told me that she lost her legs in a tragic accident that she also lost her father in
> and that she has nightmeres about it
>she also says shes never confided in anyone before
>i hold her and kiss her
>the next day we go to her fathers grave and she pays her respects
>we are still together to this day
>pic related its me and my now wife

Not sure if disturbingly similar



Or Emi reference

">pic related its me and my now wife" yeah it's not similar, it's Emi

>at University
>end of lecture
>we go to the elevator
>in the elevator a friend of mine to an other:
>"You cripple could have walked"
>guy in a wheelchair and the professor are also in the elevator

I'll be there too.

>ask my younger sister is she knows her
>is she knows her
>is

See you there my good man..

I laughed a man's laugh at this.

oh lawd

I'm sure the other half died from laughter cause that's what happened to me.

Dude, I can honestly say this is the funniest thing I've seen on this site.

MY SIDES

Bullshit

LMAO @ Braille deal with it

I laughed not a pansy milk drinker laugh. I laughed a man's laugh. Thank you sir.

well I'll be slightly damned

They had got an alarm about someone supposedly walking around with a samurai sword in that area. I guess he didn't look very close and just supposed it was the samurai sword.

But a Katana's sheath is usually black

And the sword itself isn't exactly white either

Well, he wasn't walking around with it sheathed. And maybe that cop wasn't an expert on swords, just saw something that looked like a sword and run up to the guy as quickly as possible.

Fair enough I suppose but it still is stupid. Only serves to fuck the already poor reputation of cops further.

I agree with you, but it's the best explanation I can come up with.

S'cool.

Have a nice day bud.

Dude...

witness

What's that from?

The Magic Schoolbus.

Thanks.

1. Your class changes from physics to biology
2. "teacher gets pregnancy"

"Teacher gets pregnancy leave" you forgot that last word.

fuck me, I read the whole thing, then came back when I was like "WTF, physics to biology" then my retardo brain just highlighted "Teacher gets pregnancy."

Also, just a thought, what teacher only gets 1 week pregnancy leave? Most teachers I've had who were having a kid left about 1-2 prior to the due date and stayed out for several months or until the end of the academic year.

It can depend on the teacher; some teachers could be stubborn enough to stay working until the last possible moment (not to the point of her water breaking in the middle of class--oh God).
And then some people get on their pregnancy leave early--but all of them get at least a month off afterwards unless they just don't give two shits about their newborn.

My friend just had a baby last Tuesday and she quit her job in March right after she found out she was pregnant and plans to never work again--forever pregnancy leave.

That's pretty extreme. I hope she has a second source of income or is rich. Best of luck to her.

Well, considering her husband is 21, hasn't graduated high school yet, never has had a job, and they live with his mom and grandma in a trailer, they won't be so well off for a while.

But whatever; I'm still happy for her, but I kinda wished she would have waited.
But her baby is so damn cute; you can't stay upset lmao.

lol yeah, a friend of mine (she's a bit older, ~25) recently moved several states away with her now-husband and had a kid. I'm kinda concerned for her because I never met the guy and he looks like a total tool and her parents won't help her at all, they didn't even want to show up for the birth.

My friend's family is caring and stuff, but a little bitter because my friend's mom was sixteen when she had her, and my friend is nineteen, so it caused a little controversy at first, but they've been there for her.
And despite everything my friend and I have gone through in the past year, I'll always have her back and I'll always be there to help her.
Parenthood is a very difficult thing; it's never easy, even after the kid leaves the house.

Yeah, support is very important. I know if I didn't have people to help me out in several situations I would've failed and fallen in to despair. It's great that she has people to help her out.

I like you

who wouldn't want a hot lactating albino chick?

evidently a large number of people.

well they don't know what they're missing out on. ^^

The more I stare the more I laugh