ultimate defense mechanism

WARNING: This will most likely not work for women. If a woman attempts this, rape is a likely result.

>be man
>train yourself to get an insta-boner from a phrase like "Rape Mode: engage" or "it's raping time"
>continue reading

If you find yourself in a bad situation (fight, mugging, simple argument over something like which fast food place to go to, etc...), simply follow these steps:

>rip off all of your clothes (the faster, the better)
>stand there in all your glory (if you are completely flaccid, the effect will be more hilariously awesome)
>make sure to look your opponent dead in the eye with intensity (act like they just did the one thing that would make you kill yourself just to punch either God or Satan in the dick)
>form your mouth into a rape face (as wide as you can get it, with as many teeth showing as possible -- not recommended if you are toothless)
>scream your activation phrase at the top of your lungs ("RAPE MODE: ENGAGE!")
>laugh maniacally as they run in fear for their anuses (ani?)