(continued)

I tried it out and it was amazing! The bumps tickled as they went in and they filled me up inside! My orgasms had tripled in strength! Sometimes I almost passed out! It was amazing! But...things went downhill. I got fired from my job because my productivity went down. (I kept masturbating instead of working). I had a hard time finding another job in this economy. Then one day, my girlfriend walked in on me. I didn't hear her get home. She must have heard my groans and my cries of "OH ARBITER!!!" because she walked in on me just as I came all over The TV. She screamed as loud as she could and I jumped up, pants down and dildo up my ass, grunting elite sounds coming from the TV.

MY life has hit rock bottom. I have no girlfriend anymore, I am jobless, I had to sell my car and my xbox. I am currently on Social Security and I had to drop out of college because I could no longer afford it. This is how halo reach ruined my life. This is also why bungie should remove elites from matchmaking.

(end)