>Inwardly, I am crestfallen. One cumshot had ruined everything
>"I would like one word with my friend, officer. I know he has done wrong, but he is my only friend and I would like to talk to him before..."
>The policeman nods
>I pull Drool close
>I whisper into his ear...
>"your final quest Drool. This is to go beyond what was thought possible... but I know you have it in you. Level. Four. Retard. The most XP I can give you"
>I tell him to kill all of the officers
>Kill them all, Joel
>to destroy their mechanical, dastardly contraptions and fly off into the sunset, a demi-semi-retarded God forevermore
>Drool nods
>he chokes something to me
>I didn't hear it
>he says it again
>"yes... friend", Drool says. I bow my head, with a tear in my eye
>Drool stands tall, the very epitome of defiance
>The officers all pull their guns on him
>there is something ancient and so utterly, irrevocably retarded rising within Drool
>I fall to the ground in the face of such demented power
>the officers are all petrified
>Drool clenches all of his muscles, shitting himself violently as he lets out a choking scream to the skies
>the ground begins to break beneath his warped feet
>Drool lets out one final scream and immediately leaps forward
>Level Four emerges
>a blinding flash of spectral fire, a resounding crash that shakes the ground and a shockwave that sends all present flying through the air like so many ragdolls
>I am blinded for a moment, and come to
>I'm lying in something soft and slimy
>oh god, spaghetti
>spaghetti everywhere
>the officers are all buried under the uncontrollable spaghetti
>Drool has descended to a level of existence far below the average human with an IQ higher than eighty, leaving behind a colossal wave of spaghetti. WHich Drool and I rode, smiling into the sunset.
PART one:
www.funnyjunk.com/text/3939893/The+best+tard+story/
thanks to all who have read this far.
