>The other day I go to give blood for the first time in about six or seven months.
>I've never been to this place, a community centre, before and on top of that I forget my donation form (full of health questionnaires and whatnot).
>I arrive a little late and thus I'm a little flustered.
>If you've ever donated blood before, you might no what I'm getting at here; the nurses/phlebotomists treat you like a saint if you come to donate blood, but if you're ten minutes late then you are the scum of the earth!
>*Feels bad man*
>Rushed into going through consent form. Tick no to most of the questions; I live a relatively healthy lifestyle.
>Read question "Have you, since your last donation, engaged in oral or anal sex with a woman?" Tick yes.
>Finish questionnaire, re-read answers. Only one tick in the affirmative.
! Ticked yes to "Have you, since your last donation, engaged in oral or anal sex with another man
>Hurriedly tick no box as well.
>Hand form into nurse, busty blonde, 8/10. Looks at answers. Looks at me.
>"Did you understand the question?"
>"Yes" I mumble. "Just misread it. Thought it said with a woman."
>Nurse smiles at me.
>Get in there sunshine.
>On table to give blood. Fit blonde nurse shows form/chats with 45+ year old nurse (female) 1/10 who's going to take my blood.
>1/10 Nurse sticks catheter in, never been this painful before.
>Notices the alien discomfort in my face.
>Gropes the ****
out of my shoulders!
>Big strong man and all this whoo ha!
And this is why I have never had another sexy vampire fantasy since.
'Cos when someone starts draining your blood and molesting you in real life, it's the stuff of nightmares.