I wish I could witness my life

Okay, let's jump right into it.

Sometimes, I wish I was my neighbor. Not because I hate my life, no, I love my life. I wish I was my neighbor so I could experience the antics of my roommates and I from a different point of view. It's one thing to experience it, it's another thing to just sit back and witness it.

The other day, two of my roommates (Colin and Matt) and I were sitting in our living room relaxing and talking about whatever random crap came to mind. At one point, I was distracted by a text message. While i was reading it, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Matt was quickly moving his head, looking between me and the coffee table. So, I look up from my phone to see what he's looking at. It took me a second, but once I saw it, my eyes immediately widened in fear. Duck tape.

Now, to understand my sudden fear, you need to know one of the things we talked about earlier in the night. It was effective ways to wake someone up. One of the methods mentioned was taking duck tape and using it to rip out leg or chest hairs.

It didn't take me long to know what was going through Matt's mind, so I immediately jumped up and ran to the kitchen and put myself in a corner. I already had a plan on how to get out of this. Meanwhile, Colin got in on the action and they had a long stretch of duck tape held between them. They were planning to tie me up with it so they wouldn't have as much trouble ripping my hairs out. They charged me and I charged them. I was able to deck under the tape and get a headstart for the front door. They almost caught me when i had to open the door, but I was able to slip free from their grasp. They ended up chasing me halfway down the block before giving up.

I'm fairly certain a couple of my neighbors thought they were witnessing an attempt at rape.