>going about my usual business at school when a rumor starts spreading around that a teacher molested a student at my sister's highschool
>brush it off, it's just a rumor
>next morning a news story pops up on the news about my sister's swim coach having an affair with one of her swimming teammates
> ALL OF MY WAT
>go to school and we have some completely non-related sex ed thing were they told us not to get raped, and about everything that went down at the other school.
> didn't listen stared at the tard in my class who had recently shaved his eyebrows off instead
>i come home and find my sister ******* bawling on the couch
>i ask her what's wrong
>she says she feels like she had been deceived
>i don't get it... till i realise she's on the swim team
>i try to lighten the mood like I always do.
>i say, "well atleast you still have a dick"
>my sister looks at me, confused, "what?"
>****, i try to redeem myself, "HAHA... well- you, uh, you know what would make you feel loads better?"
>sister is looking at me like im retarded or something
>"UHHH- GEE THAT GIRL ON YOUR TEAM SURE IS A WHORE ISN'T SHE?"
>my sister starts squirting emotion juice out of her eye's like a goddamn cumulonimbus
>Dad walks in
>says she was molested by her coach, i turn into a goddamn bear
>************, i fart a little bit
>molten bear diariah squirts from my cave all over the floor
>the smell provokes the witch
>sister goes ******* ballistick clawing at my face and ****
>im ******* bleeding
>turn and run, dropping my Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle behind to lighten the load
>i can feel my sister gnawing on my shins as i race towards the front door
>she slips in my diariah allowing me enough time to escape to the door but...
>THE HOUSE IS MELTING
> i'm butter, my house is butter, my sister is butter.
>at least i had an exciting day though.