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Embarrasing stories thread

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Views: 35769
Favorited: 77
Submitted: 04/25/2012
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[ 291 comments ]

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#29 - mugglemasher (04/25/2012) [-]
>Chiling at my favorite spot
>Some weird looking kid walks up, staring right at me with a smile on his face
>Kid starts unzipping pants
>allofmywhat.jpg
> kid comes closer, pants completely on ground now
> Unable to move, frozen in shock, my face frozen in sheer terror
>kid sits on my face
> ***** down my throat
>forces me to swallow it
>MFW im a toilet
User avatar #27 - foelkera (04/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>Age 10
>get first boner
>have to piss
>forget I have massive throbbing erection
>Blast self in mouth with urine
User avatar #22 - italianrambo (04/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>be 17
>making dinner at gf's house
>eating dinner with parents
>gf and mom start talking about basketball players
>talk about their body
>dad looks at me
>"See, we can't say stuff like that. We get hit"
>Mom replies "Thats because you talk about boobs and butts"
>Dad says something about gf's boobs
>Mom asks me what I liker about their daughter
>I turn to look at her
>I'm staring right at her chest
>Only word in my mind is BOOBS
>Dont say anything, just blush
>Everyone laughs, never answer question.
>Mom proceeds to tell every family member at reunion
#6 - haydn (04/25/2012) [+] (4 replies)
This image has expired
>Be about 7-9 years old
>Have a bladder condition
>Queuing up for a ride with my brother
> *********************
>Tell older bro I need toilet badly
>He tells me to hold on
>Get in ride, it's a double sharer where one sits in front
>Halfway through I violently fill the cart with hot steamy piss
>Not the worst part
>Grandmother feels for me and says I brought some spare clothes
>She forced me to wear her spare knickers for the rest of the day
>Mfw I wore my grandmothers underwear for an entire day.
#30 - thebestgirley (04/25/2012) [-]
>Be 5 on a fancy diner   
>Sit next to my mom   
>Put my hand down my skirt   
>Put a finger in my vagina   
>tell mum to smell my finger   
>MomsFW
>Be 5 on a fancy diner
>Sit next to my mom
>Put my hand down my skirt
>Put a finger in my vagina
>tell mum to smell my finger
>MomsFW
#57 - blackcorsair (04/25/2012) [+] (4 replies)
>bored as **** at home
>browsing FJ
>see newfag trying some green text
>MFW OP doesn't know how to use MFW
#148 - anonymous (04/25/2012) [-]
>Be 45
>Son's doing dishes
>Tells me we need new soap
>Why?
>Tells me it smells like semen.
> I smell it, it smells like soap. What a dumbass.
> Mfw I heard him masturbating an hour ago
#141 - Wumbologist (04/25/2012) [+] (2 replies)
>be me, programming class freshmen year of high school   
>playing "the scary maze game" since I'd finished my project   
>the girl jumps out at me   
>i fall for it completely   
>with newfound retard strength, i shriek savagely, ripping off my headphones in a wild panic   
>i turn around and realize i'm in the middle of class   
>everyone's looking at me, either amazed or stifling laughter   
>teacher coolly comments "And that's why we stay on task."
>be me, programming class freshmen year of high school
>playing "the scary maze game" since I'd finished my project
>the girl jumps out at me
>i fall for it completely
>with newfound retard strength, i shriek savagely, ripping off my headphones in a wild panic
>i turn around and realize i'm in the middle of class
>everyone's looking at me, either amazed or stifling laughter
>teacher coolly comments "And that's why we stay on task."
#24 - groborg (04/25/2012) [-]
> At a local mall with my GF
> casually walking around
> she stops and sensually whispers in my ear
> ¨Lets go to the bathroom¨
> Instantly becomes stiff
> She drags me into a bathroom stall at the womans room
> she sits down on toilet, spreads her legs
> STIFFNESS OVERLOAD
> GF starts touching herself
> GF pulls my brother out of her vagina
> blood floating everywhere
> MFW im a tampon
#16 - ozobradleyozo (04/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
MFW there is no face to go with the MFW.
+38
#21 to #16 - uladak **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+35
#26 - squrrillyadamss **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#95 - dirtyhornets (04/25/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>7th grade
>holding in massive fart
>book falls off desk
>challengeaccepted.jpg
>clenching my ass cheeks together i go for the book
>let out the biggest loudest fart ive ever heard
>person next to me falls off his chair in fright
>everyone knows it was me


#20 - saxal (04/25/2012) [-]
>be 9 at a catholic youth camp
>hundreds of people gathered in the same place
>have bladder infection
>have to take a piss
>ask Counselor take me to the bathroom
>says no
>piss in my pants in front of everyone
>pretend to faint
>mfw


+32
#13 - fappi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#212 - CakemanRPG (04/25/2012) [+] (2 replies)
> Be 17   
> Ending senior year   
> get in my car and go to first raunchy highschool house party   
> Have to park 3 blocks away due to crowded streets   
> Walk thru door   
> partyhard.jpeg   
> grind up on drunk chick   
> she doesn't care, she's so drunk she enjoys it   
> Suddenly horny   
> takes me up to bedroom   
> drunk sex is better than no sex   
> we get naked go to town   
> nailing her for 35 seconds   
> gonna cum   
> BIFF   
> her angry boyfriend kicks down door   
> Feelscaredman.jpeg
> Be 17
> Ending senior year
> get in my car and go to first raunchy highschool house party
> Have to park 3 blocks away due to crowded streets
> Walk thru door
> partyhard.jpeg
> grind up on drunk chick
> she doesn't care, she's so drunk she enjoys it
> Suddenly horny
> takes me up to bedroom
> drunk sex is better than no sex
> we get naked go to town
> nailing her for 35 seconds
> gonna cum
> BIFF
> her angry boyfriend kicks down door
> Feelscaredman.jpeg
User avatar #213 to #212 - CakemanRPG (04/25/2012) [-]
> drags me out of bed
> climax ALL OVER HIM
> He's pissed
> I brace for impact
> dragged forcefully out of house and severely beaten until I black out
> I wake up in dumpster. NAKED.
> Ashamed, I begin sprinting back to my car, still naked.
> finally get to my car, its locked
> realize that my keys, wallet, and cellphone is STILL with my clothes at the party
> GODDAMMIT
> Sprint 3 blocks naked back to party
> cut thru backyard so I won't be seen
> I hop a fence....
> BAM. I run into some cops.
> I desperately plead my case
> they still arrest me for public indecency
> spend the night in jail, w/out any clothes

So funny junk, how was YOUR first time?
#235 - vanoreo (04/25/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>Friend invites me over
>First time to go to his house
>Get in car to go
>Look up directions on iPhone
>Following...
>Eventually end up in the ******* ghetto
>Not his house at all
> **** you iPod
>Running low on gas
>Drive to nearest gas station
>Run out of gas shortly before I get there
>I can see it
>Suddenly a nignog approaches
>Asshole hits me over the head and starts violently anally raping me
>He finishes and runs off
>I shouted "Thank you!"
>Why the **** did I say thank you?
#106 - slumberdonkey (04/25/2012) [-]
>be me
>be 17
>at lake house with girlfriend
>we fall asleep in my bed because family is out drinking
>i get horny
>start fingering her because i thought she was awake
>i finish
>car goes by outside and wakes her up
>she starts freaking out thinking she "sleep masturbated"
>mfw
#98 - Imbtrtenu (04/25/2012) [-]
Mfw people tell stories online and say Mfw and don't use a picture.
#14 - azsolii (04/25/2012) [+] (2 replies)
>Be 15 and derp as 						****					.   
>Need to run the dishwasher   
>Assume that dish soap was appropriate for the dish washer   
>Logically sound, seems legit   
>Run the washer, go to play Pikmin   
>Come back to the kitchen an hour later to get some soda   
>MFW I made a water carnival.
>Be 15 and derp as **** .
>Need to run the dishwasher
>Assume that dish soap was appropriate for the dish washer
>Logically sound, seems legit
>Run the washer, go to play Pikmin
>Come back to the kitchen an hour later to get some soda
>MFW I made a water carnival.
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