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How to Commit Suicide

 
>Get a revolver
>go to walmart
>fill up your entire shopping cart with a metric ******* of milk
>unscrew the caps
>roll up to checkout, with revolver in pocket
>tip over cart, look like an accident
>Immediately start crying
>"I can't handle it man, I just can't ******* deal with it! It's all ******* over, man!"
>brain yourself in front of the cashier
>????
>profit
+472
Views: 16954
Favorited: 39
Submitted: 04/16/2012
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[ 47 comments ]
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+30
#10 - Garnian (04/16/2012) [-]
But man, it aint worth dying over spilled milk.
But man, it aint worth dying over spilled milk.
Reply
+12
#23 to #10 - psychofire (04/17/2012) [-]
unless its this kinda milk
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+1
#34 to #23 - freerustrytrombone ONLINE (04/17/2012) [-]
**** I'm sorry man i didn't mean to!
Reply
+6
#38 - donatellotmnt (04/17/2012) [-]
Even better idea. >Make small plastic explosive device and shove up nose and link detonation to phone. >Get cart full of milk and unscrew all the lids. >Go up to counter and spill all the milk. >Scream "SORRY MASTERS!! I HAVE FAILED YOU! BE MERCIFUL!! >Activate the explosion. >Awesome
Even better idea.

>Make small plastic explosive device and shove up nose and link detonation to phone.
>Get cart full of milk and unscrew all the lids.
>Go up to counter and spill all the milk.
>Scream "SORRY MASTERS!! I HAVE FAILED YOU! BE MERCIFUL!!
>Activate the explosion.
>Awesome
Reply
-3
#15 - eternalstromboli (04/17/2012) [-]
>Walk into crowd of people
>Scream "Who ******* Farted!"
>Blow head off with T-Shirt cannon
>?????
>You're ******* dead
Reply
+5
#18 to #15 - tjvbull (04/17/2012) [-]
Well done, you can combine two jokes from Nick Swardson. I hope you're raped with a pitchfork.


May the eternal Buddha have mercy on you.
Reply
-1
#19 to #18 - eternalstromboli (04/17/2012) [-]
Thanks tjvbull your advice saved me from having sex with a pterodactyl!
Reply
+6
#40 - Onemanretardpack (04/17/2012) [-]
Saw this on 4chan the other night, nice OC douche
Reply
+3
#52 - licestr (04/17/2012) [-]
Seen it before on FJ and it comes from 4chan, and you even got it wrong.
Seen it before on FJ and it comes from 4chan, and you even got it wrong.
Reply
+3
#1 - xenophaigus (04/16/2012) [-]
pic semi-relevant
pic semi-relevant
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0
#2 to #1 - thisnick (04/16/2012) [-]
Is... Is that real? o.o
Reply
+1
User avatar #3 to #2 - xenophaigus (04/16/2012) [-]
I doubt it. It'd be hard to smile after taking the bullet
Reply
+1
#4 to #3 - thisnick (04/16/2012) [-]
Yeah, just took another look and the movement and recoil isn't right lol. Nevermind
Reply
+1
User avatar #7 to #4 - sodapops ONLINE (04/16/2012) [-]
How can i have missed all these years that the slide doesn't even move... iamnotacleverman
Reply
0
User avatar #11 to #7 - thamuz (04/16/2012) [-]
slide doesnt move,hammer doesnt fall,no empty being ejected and finger letting go of trigger.

Yep,i noticed that the first time i saw that. I had to explain that gif to someone once. it wasnt pretty.
0
#9 to #4 - horehey has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
0
#35 to #2 - anon (04/17/2012) [-]
Nope. It's from a movie, I forgot which one. Basically, the kid in the gif is in a skate park, randomly rolls up to the top of a ramp, and shoots himself.
Reply
0
User avatar #39 to #1 - maggotinfantry (04/17/2012) [-]
Ken Park was the name of the movie, right? ****** up movie..
+4
#50 - unarmedhobo **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
0
#51 - anon (04/17/2012) [-]
No. Here is the way. You create a noose out of barbed or piano wire. Glue your hands to your head. Hang yourself. Set it up so that when pressure is placed on the wire it retracts. Everyone's face when it looked like you ripped your own head off.
Reply
+2
#55 to #51 - jugglingtacos (04/17/2012) [-]
Barbwire would just rip the **** out of your neck and keep you dangling there in pain, bleeding and slowly choking to death.

pic related it's barbwire
Reply
+2
#22 - CottonTail (04/17/2012) [-]
**CottonTail rolled a random image posted in comment #3854382 at FJ Pony Thread **
1. Show up to philosophy class in suit and tie
2. Walk up to front of the class as the teacher is about to start lecture
3. Announce loudly that you know the meaning of life
4. Slip cyanide pill in
5. ????
6. Everyone else gets the rest of class off
Reply
+2
#20 - vingorat (04/17/2012) [-]
saw this **** on ******* 4 chan
Reply
+3
#25 to #20 - LiamNeeson [OP](04/17/2012) [-]
Never claimed it, and the internet is for sharing.
Never claimed it, and the internet is for sharing.
Reply
+3
#33 to #25 - freerustrytrombone ONLINE (04/17/2012) [-]
Imagine this but in 3D!
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+2
#53 - eboloramma (04/17/2012) [-]
Taken straight from 4chan. You people truly are pathetic.
Reply
0
#54 - themightymrplow (04/17/2012) [-]
In my local Walmart news... Recently a guy got arrested because he tried to hire a hitman to kill his ex wife... Proof: http://www.theindychannel.com/news/30899650/detail.html
+1
#26 - lolzinyourmouth **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
+1
User avatar #43 - funnysheetbro (04/17/2012) [-]
No no no, it's "Ah dammit not again!" implying that you've killed yourself before over spilled milk.
-8
#32 - liek has deleted their comment [-]
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0
#56 - anon (04/17/2012) [-]
I would ask if they had a certain obscure product and then brain myself if they said no
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0
#41 - dcramp (04/17/2012) [-]
what are the odds that if this happened we'd go to hell? or maybe get a prize?
Reply
0
#28 - skyrimizzle (04/17/2012) [-]
**skyrimizzle rolled a random image posted in comment #3607074 at FJ Pony Thread **
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