In the shower, I got bored. So I thought up a little re-do of 'Jizz in my pants' with Skyrim themes.
Just read a little bit...
Lock eyes, from across the fields.
Unsheath my sword while the orchestra yields.
Look, in Whiterun, I'm the Thane. No need here for the silly games.
Run full pace, through the weeds and grass.
You breath fire, so I'm on your ass.
Move in close as the flames do fly.
Our weapons touch and my companion dies.
Leave this place, go up the hill.
Suddenly, I feel a chill.
The whole battle that have to end.
All of a sudden, I have a plan, and I...
FUS RO DAH!
This does normally happen, you can take my word.
To the villagers watching, this is just absurd.
You fly eratically, very far, because I just.
FUS RO DAH!'d
Go tell Alduin, he's been surpassed.
Because, quite simply, I kicked your ass.
Sorry, I've got to follow this trail.
Now go and say you failed!
I do patrols near here.
Since that time I fought a bear.
Since a hunter was only quite near.
I had no reason to fear.
But then I saw his bow.
Up, pulled back, ready to throw.
The bear roared.
Soon it'd be no more.
He turned to it.
Let go of the arrow, then it hit me...
I had an ARROW, in... MY KNEE!