Sarah O'Bannon

This is what i want to see in horror movies. SMART people.

In Russia, coffin has pipe for air, and bell with string. If man is true Soviet, he does not die. When buried, yells for undertaker and rings bell. Bell rings. Is no wind.
Undertaker asks - "Are you lady Gorbochev?"
Voice says "Yes!"
"Born winter of 1927?"
"Yes!"
"Gravestone says 'Died 20 February, 1957"
"Niet, am still living!"
"Am sorry, but is August. In June, ground will thaw. You must wait for June."
And woman is true Soviet, waits for June.

"...and that kids is how i met your mother"

That awkward moment when she actually was alive and has been surviving off moss, insects and rainwater that went down the pipe.

TL;DR?

<<Look at this

BUT WHO WAS BELL?!

Therewas once a woman who got put in prison, while she was there, she befriended the worker at the morgue, because this prison had its on graveyard for its prisoners.

While there she came up with a plan along with the morgue man, the morgue man gave her the prison keys that he stole, late at night, when she heard church bells she would slip out and sneak into the morgue, there she would get in with one of the bodies and be buried alive, after an hour in the coffin the morgue man would dig her up, and she would be free.

So the same night she heard church bill and she unlocked her door and slipped away, she snuck into the morgue and gut underneath the sheets with one of the dead bodies, after a while she felt the coffin lid shut down on her and she was buried alive, she spent an hour or two in the coffin, waiting to be dug up, after a while she decided to light a match for light.

And there next to her, dead, was the body of the morgue man.

My birthday is February 20th ;>_>

This guys an idiot...he could have had hot sex with a grateful zombie.

In earlier years they found out that the lead in mugs used for beer and drinking caused the heart to stop for a short period of time, People would be found Lying around without a pulse, So they Buried them.
during some kind of an economic struggle they had to reuse coffins, after digging them up and finding scratched up coffins.
they attached tubes and bells and attached them to the fingers of the buried.

Thus the expression 'Saved by the Bell'

that awkward moment when he realizes there was a typo on the headstone.

MFW I can highlight the words.

My dear funnyjunkers i have a message from /b/

Tommorow a raid will be taking place on 9gag and we will be posting gore and porn. So far there is a massive following just take a look on /b/ yourselves.

If you would like to join just make a 9gag account and be ready to post gore and porn tommorow while also upvoting other pictures of gore and porn. The 9gag account requires you use your facebook account so if you don't want to use that just make another one.

Usually 4chan doesn't give a shit about funnyjunk but today we must unite agaisnt these 9Richard Simmonss!

Pic related

inb4 cool story bro

>Be a gravedigger
>a bell rings
>it means that someone is alive
>ask if anyone is there
>get a reply
>"yes"
>shit your pants
>fannypack opens, spaghetti falls out
>"lol, fuck your shit nigger"
>plug hole
>then who was phone?

<--- What he dug up

so did this motherfucker
JUST STOP A POSSIBLE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

the bells are the origin of the sayings "dead ringer" and "saved by the bell". like anyone cares.