Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search
Buy your amazon goods through FJ's link.
Just click this link and search for any product you want. FJ gets a commission on everything you buy.

hide menu
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#39 - tibialun (05/13/2014) [-]
>One of my friends bred wolf spiders
>He found out his girlfriend cheated on him recently and had been for the past year or so
>She was absolutely horrified of spiders and would freeze upon seeing one
>Luckily enough, one of his female wolf spiders just had an egg sac open with hundreds of these little *******
>He gets little baby spiders, places in her car where all the vents and stuff is
>She later gets in, turns on AC, blasted by those hundreds of baby spiders
>She wouldn't get in her car for a week because she was so scared, she lost her job


#143 to #39 - francisyorkmorgan (05/13/2014) [-]
Why was your friend breeding wolf spiders?   
   
How does he sleep knowing those things are in his house?
Why was your friend breeding wolf spiders?

How does he sleep knowing those things are in his house?
User avatar #147 to #143 - oxymoronking (05/14/2014) [-]
they are his meals
#136 to #39 - organicglory ONLINE (05/13/2014) [-]
I started sweating as soon as i read "wolf spider"   
those 						*******					 run at 95693049 k/h   
if you throw a bug into their web, it will come out of its hole, grab it, and go back in in literally the blink of an eye   
they're 						*******					 horrifying, and so was this story
I started sweating as soon as i read "wolf spider"
those ******* run at 95693049 k/h
if you throw a bug into their web, it will come out of its hole, grab it, and go back in in literally the blink of an eye
they're ******* horrifying, and so was this story
User avatar #144 to #136 - paranoidmuffin ONLINE (05/13/2014) [-]
They're damn smart too. Those ******* figured out that flies like **** dog **** attracts flies so whenever my dog takes a dump, one of them sits on it until flies start swarming and start picking them off.
#97 to #39 - splitalterego (05/13/2014) [-]
I feel like this easily could have gone wrong and cause a car crash potentially seriously hurting her and other people.
User avatar #137 to #97 - oxymoronking (05/13/2014) [-]
so her psycological problem kills people? she should be in an insaneasylum
#145 to #137 - splitalterego (05/14/2014) [-]
I think hundreds of tiny spiders flying at your face will cause you to panic and swerve phobia or not.
User avatar #146 to #145 - oxymoronking (05/14/2014) [-]
its a joke, not a dick, dont take it so hard
User avatar #54 to #39 - technobanana (05/13/2014) [-]
I would of dumped the whore right away...
#68 to #54 - gtfomylawnbish (05/13/2014) [-]
Think of it like this. It's a chance to do all the mean things you think about while you're going to sleep at night,and she's laying there smelling like potato chips leaving her scent of stink on your 75.00 800 thread count sheets while systematically bringing all her **** to your home, a place you paid for with blood sweat and tears, 6 years of college and 70 hours a week. Meanwhile she was sucking dick at her community college making low c's and barely able to meet her minimum requirements to stay at the school working on that ****** ****** paralegal certificate that she proudly lies about and calls a law degree. Everything from her knock off hand bags to her God damn fake nail kits ending up in your home, on your bathroom floor and hair balls in your shower stall. then she moves on to complaining that your bathroom seems cold, manly, devoid of women. When you suggest you can just hang out at her apartment, she brings up the fact that she can't afford electricity. So what do you do? You pay for it just to reclaim your ****** area from her foul fang of woman grip. She complains that her tv is too small, so you bring over the one in your bedroom, it's a 46" led, not the bargain basement kind, but the one you payed 3612.95 plus tax for from Fry's electronics. She's talked you into it because "It'll be for both of us" but you don't need an apartment key because "I'm always home" that's right, you don't have a job you fat cunt. When you do come over, you go to **** and find a rubber that just wouldn't flush. "Whats this" quickly she throws toilet paper on it and flushes saying "it was a balloon, we had a water fight" Who's we? Oh, the friends you have over I never see. Cool story you ****** cunt. I'm ******** in your toilet tank while you're not looking. Upper decker for the worlds classiest whore. I'm taking my tv and leaving.... Not sure where I was going with that. Anyhow, don't dump them right away, **** on something they love first, or in the top of their toilet.
User avatar #104 to #68 - huntergriff ONLINE (05/13/2014) [-]
why the **** did this give me a feel?
#91 to #68 - perfectcomment ONLINE (05/13/2014) [-]
I like this. This is a nice comment.
#89 to #68 - technobanana (05/13/2014) [-]
Don't know why my comment was red thumb worthy but hey ho
Don't know why my comment was red thumb worthy but hey ho
#85 to #68 - nickojmoore (05/13/2014) [-]
That was edgy in the best possible way.
#47 to #39 - asftrooper (05/13/2014) [-]
Jeez, straight out from one of those awful horror movies. This guy is great!
Jeez, straight out from one of those awful horror movies. This guy is great!
 Friends (0)