right mum. . Taday, my mum staggered hame, plss drunk. When I tried tty walk her tty her raam, she shaved me away and cursed at me far being a "". She then slur
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right mum

Taday, my mum staggered hame, plss drunk. When I tried tty walk her tty her raam, she shaved me away and
cursed at me far being a "". She then slurred n ****** your mum", and informed me that my
mum Is a skank. That' s grand tty know, mum. PML
2095 8646 I agree. your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it {I EH 3)
...
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Views: 56067
Favorited: 71
Submitted: 11/17/2013
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User avatar #30 - jbgotswag (11/18/2013) [+] (7 replies)
stickied by sadisticplatypi
dude, that is such a repost, i saw it on fml
#1 - dashgamer (11/17/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #4 - acidreign (11/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Perhaps she was married to a woman. Its 2013 people, crazy **** happens today.
#41 - pappathethird (11/18/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Related joke:   
   
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.   
   
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.   
   
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”   
   
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”   
   
“Well, you came home after three in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw-up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”   
   
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”   
   
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,’Leave me alone, I’m married!’”
Related joke:

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”

He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after three in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw-up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,’Leave me alone, I’m married!’”
#10 - drunkasaurus (11/18/2013) [+] (4 replies)
My whole family is like that, and I was kind of disappointed to end up the same way. But we're at least a close family of happy and functioning drunks, so I'm okay with it.
My whole family is like that, and I was kind of disappointed to end up the same way. But we're at least a close family of happy and functioning drunks, so I'm okay with it.
User avatar #31 - stagger (11/18/2013) [+] (3 replies)
One reason why I love my username.

I get to read some stories. Some sick stories.

User avatar #44 to #34 - hairysmellyanus ONLINE (11/18/2013) [-]
you dont want to know what i read.
#18 - xxxsonic fanxxx (11/18/2013) [-]
My mom would regularly call me a "son of a bitch" when drunk. It was here favorite insult.
Only when I was 14 did I understand the irony of what she was saying.
#15 - lotengo (11/18/2013) [+] (5 replies)
>be me, 18.
> Watching a movie on my computer around midnight.
> Parents come home from a birthdayparty, dad staggering drunk.
> Starts yelling at me being an autistic retard for watching movies at 3:00 am.
> Mom tries to calm dad down and explain its only m
> Dad gives her a knee in the stomach
> Have to drag my dad out of the house and fight himm in the backyard.
> He can take a punch pretty good but i manage to knock him out.
> drag his ass back inside and lay him on the couch.

> The day after: He doesnt remember **** , is in a great and doesnt appear to have a hangover.
MFW

#42 - Paczilla (11/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Of course she's drunk, its from ireland.
Of course she's drunk, its from ireland.
#25 - creamycheesebro (11/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
One time I was trying to help this old man who got his walker stuck, I went to go help him and he said "get the hell away from me you ******* fat **** ." This guy was at least 90 and had no hope of getting it out with his weak arms. So I just pulled the walker out without his permission and he tried to smack me across the head. Then he told me to go **** myself.
User avatar #27 to #25 - lasmamoe (11/18/2013) [-]
Did you get bit? You can't be too careful around a walker.
User avatar #48 - cormy (11/18/2013) [-]
My mom talking in her sleep after she fell asleep watching TV:
... Stop yelling at me...
I DON'T HAVE ANY STICKS!
#22 - soundofwinter (11/18/2013) [+] (9 replies)
So she masturbated?
User avatar #63 - kievaughnb (11/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I thumbed this in newest uploads. W00t
#46 - ncisagentgibbs **User deleted account** (11/18/2013) [-]
User avatar #45 - asmodeu (11/18/2013) [-]
Of course this drunk story is from Ireland..
User avatar #21 - picamix (11/18/2013) [-]
well my step mom just sort of use to get reallly agnry and argue at everyone all night and then burst into emotional tears and was really ******* anoying
User avatar #20 - greyshirt (11/18/2013) [-]
And of course this person's from Ireland.
#14 - dogeate (11/18/2013) [-]
That guy's mom is a slut just ask his mom.
#11 - theguywhofarted ONLINE (11/18/2013) [-]
**theguywhofarted rolled a random image posted in comment #6650291 at Safe For Work Random Board ** Her mom's face when
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