old but good. . we me we 16 yhave 8110 knever wants to have sex efil months later teem this cocksucker at a party bl rage hard Tthink leng and hard Mwi get reve
x
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old but good

we me
we 16
yhave 8110
knever wants to have sex
efil months later
teem ***** this cocksucker at a party
bl rage
hard
Tthink leng and hard Mwi get revenge
she has idea i know)
acne night have her ever for Clevie
start making out, things get steamy
excuse me EHO, i need poop
we in bathromm
and jizz en fingers
we back to cetch
wick up where we started
hi break up with her week later
months later, shes wage as ****
thinks its his kid
years later and they are married and are raising my offspring
...
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Views: 45239
Favorited: 111
Submitted: 03/27/2014
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Comments(163):

[ 163 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#40 - theaaronlester ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
He said he had to poop and that didn't ruin the mood? yeah. okay.
He said he had to poop and that didn't ruin the mood? yeah. okay.
#130 to #40 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
hahaha dude if you think that would kill the mood for a girl then I hate to break it to you... Your a ****** virgin haha
#137 to #40 - solarknight (03/28/2014) [-]
what is that.
#66 to #40 - padawonjohn (03/28/2014) [-]
>Teenage relationships
User avatar #150 to #66 - MoparMan (03/28/2014) [-]
Ooh, I love Rick and Morty. Got any more reaction pics like that?
#160 to #150 - padawonjohn (03/29/2014) [-]
Sorry, no.

This show is probably the best show on Adult Swim right now.

You can probably find some of the better pictures or gifs on tumblr.
User avatar #71 to #40 - thatguybehindyou (03/28/2014) [-]
Maybe she's into scat?
#9 - mydogsnameisbuster (03/28/2014) [-]
How long sperm can live in the open-air depends on the situation, what kind of environment it's in and how much sperm is present. But, on average, sperm can't live for much longer than a few hours in the open-air. It's important to remember that if sperm is inside a women's body, it can survive for up to seven days.

Yea, I googled it. Shoot me
User avatar #16 to #9 - shadowsynergy (03/28/2014) [-]
I'll shoot you.
With my jizz.
User avatar #17 to #9 - fupanator (03/28/2014) [-]
beat me too it
#10 to #9 - Dillip (03/28/2014) [-]
Bang bang
#1 - purplebelle (03/28/2014) [-]
My favorite greentext story
User avatar #26 to #1 - nikolaier (03/28/2014) [-]
id like to contribute to the dump, but i still have to start saving things
#29 to #1 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
holy **** yes !!
User avatar #65 to #47 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
What the ****
User avatar #57 to #47 - catburglarpenis (03/28/2014) [-]
Jesus ******* Christ.
#67 to #1 - phoenixfeather (03/28/2014) [-]
One of the best greentext i have to date, definatly worth the read.
#152 to #67 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
It's not greentext if they don't use meme arrows you idiot. The text isn't even green.
User avatar #163 to #152 - thatommygun (04/27/2015) [-]
"Meme arrows" realy?
User avatar #51 to #36 - zombifier (03/28/2014) [-]
MMORPG

Many Men Online Role Playing Girls
#43 to #1 - theonethatknew ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
One of the best greentexts. Period. Totally worth the read.
#91 to #43 - spanishiqiustion (03/28/2014) [-]
Holy **** someone has to make this **** a movie like NOW
User avatar #92 to #91 - spanishiqiustion (03/28/2014) [-]
and i must know what that game is
User avatar #107 to #92 - homebray (03/28/2014) [-]
its RP, not a game
User avatar #108 to #107 - spanishiqiustion (03/28/2014) [-]
Whats an rp
User avatar #109 to #108 - homebray (03/28/2014) [-]
Role Playing
User avatar #111 to #109 - spanishiqiustion (03/28/2014) [-]
so they were just typing up a story and there was a sort of game mechanic with it.



User avatar #113 to #111 - homebray (03/28/2014) [-]
yup yup pretty much
User avatar #79 to #43 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
I kinda want to know what they were playing, this sounds fantastically fun.
User avatar #93 to #79 - bitchpleaseshutup (03/28/2014) [-]
It's roleplay, not an actual game
User avatar #161 to #93 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/29/2014) [-]
Had a feeling =/ all of my disappoint.
User avatar #75 - harrisonfordor (03/28/2014) [-]
Yes, I'm sure that your cum fingers were the reason why she was pregnant. Totally not all the dick she was receiving.
#95 to #75 - bananamann (03/28/2014) [-]
>implying condoms don't exist
#99 to #95 - kreekydoorS (03/28/2014) [-]
>implying people other than sailors use condoms
#58 to #45 - Orc (03/28/2014) [-]
********
horrible
3/10 would not read again
#30 - dildodude (03/28/2014) [-]
another McDonald greentext
#101 - iluvblackppl (03/28/2014) [-]
I'll just leave this here...
#147 to #101 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
wander
wander
wander
#68 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** cool man
#119 - lolofoeshow ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#2 - politetroll (03/28/2014) [-]
I feel like this isn't actually possible but I'm not a semen doctor so I can't say for sure.

Red thumbs plz.
-2
#4 to #2 - osamathemamalama has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #52 to #4 - broswagonist ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
It's the polite troll. Would you deny him his red thumbs, you monster?
User avatar #35 to #2 - eminater (03/28/2014) [-]
I think Semen can survive up to 72 hours outside the sack...so by my knowledge it can
User avatar #46 to #2 - schurftinator (03/28/2014) [-]
it is possible, but the chances are pretty low (it can't be exposed to oxygen or low temperatures for that long, so you'd basically have to rub it in properly right away or else it won't work). so in this case, not such a chance.

Same goes with the story about cumming in a bath and a woman getting in; semen will get destroyed almost instantly so no.
User avatar #49 to #2 - sirofminorclass (03/28/2014) [-]
Remember that one episode of Srubs where J.D. got a girl pregnant without having sex because they didn't had a comdom and didn't want to take the risk?

Yeah, it can totally happen.
User avatar #50 to #2 - imalex (03/28/2014) [-]
its actually possible thats the funny part
User avatar #76 to #2 - blayneket (03/28/2014) [-]
The life span of sperm after ejaculation depends on the circumstances.

Sperm ejaculated into a woman's vagina can live in a woman's cervical mucus or upper genital tract for three to five days. Fertilization is possible as long as the sperm remain alive. Sperm ejaculated outside the body might survive in semen — the fluid released during ejaculation — up to a few hours.

Sperm can be preserved for weeks when semen is stored at a lowered temperature — or years when semen is frozen.
#77 to #76 - politetroll (03/28/2014) [-]
After reading all these replies, I'm starting to think I could be a semen doctor.

Red thumbs please
User avatar #84 to #2 - sciencexplain (03/28/2014) [-]
Sciencexplain here!:

Yes, it is. Sperm can stay live for quite a while provided it remains in a warm liquid, which is why it is stored in semen. By transferring it to her inner fluids, it can make an attempt to impregnate her, and this one seemed to have been fortunate enough for him to work.
User avatar #5 to #2 - syrenthra (03/28/2014) [-]
think about it, for as much as anyone knows this could be how mary got pregnant with jesus
User avatar #8 to #2 - Sacrifice (03/28/2014) [-]
It is in actual fact possible. The guy puts his seed in her, and the little swimmers take care of the rest.
I hear it's also possible if a guy comes in the bath and a girl goes in after him.
User avatar #31 to #8 - mssofieg (03/28/2014) [-]
Actually the air part is possible but semen does not survive in water, especially if it is as hot as in a tub.
User avatar #96 to #31 - Sacrifice (03/28/2014) [-]
Oh fair enough. That's my learning over with for today.
#32 to #8 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
Pretty sure that myth was busted.
User avatar #7 to #2 - vikingesnumerouno (03/28/2014) [-]
semen doctor
User avatar #14 to #7 - honditar (03/28/2014) [-]
Hey **** you this isn't tumblr
We can ******* read, you don't have to repeat it.
User avatar #19 to #14 - vikingesnumerouno (03/28/2014) [-]
Hey **** you this isn't tumblr
We can ******* read, you don't have to repeat it.


FIGHT ME IN A LONGHOUSE BRAWL YOU LOWLAND SCUM
User avatar #37 to #19 - cubanwhiteman (03/28/2014) [-]
longhouse brawl
lowlandscum
Fight me
I secretly wish I could swallow my dads semen
#38 to #37 - vikingesnumerouno (03/28/2014) [-]
FUNNYJUNK THRILLED AS CUBANWHITEMAN TELLS COOL STORY
FUNNYJUNK THRILLED AS CUBANWHITEMAN TELLS COOL STORY
#41 to #38 - cubanwhiteman (03/28/2014) [-]
Dang, nobody has ever thought my stories were that cool. I guess this means we're taking this to the bedroom?
Dang, nobody has ever thought my stories were that cool. I guess this means we're taking this to the bedroom?
#54 to #38 - buttinspecter (03/28/2014) [-]
mm mmm (Okay).
User avatar #48 to #38 - deathdiedead (03/28/2014) [-]
I accept.
User avatar #55 to #14 - bodox (03/28/2014) [-]
he has a 150+ thumbs.......this is what funnyjunk is becoming....
was fun while it lasted
#94 to #7 - harleycurnow (03/28/2014) [-]
This is the most Tumblr response i've seen someone get away with on Funnyjunk.
User avatar #59 to #7 - kilik (03/28/2014) [-]
*connoisseur
#22 to #2 - ugoboom (03/28/2014) [-]
hang in there buddy, you'll make -400 on my watch.
#13 - mikesch (03/28/2014) [-]
**mikesch rolled image**

An evil plan. A good plan.
User avatar #62 to #13 - demigodofmadness ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
That was so weird, I thought you rolled the user "image"
#33 - freegzuz (03/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #42 to #33 - datlaugh (03/28/2014) [-]
It doesn't have to be a true story, 4chan greentexts are just to make you laugh.
#44 to #42 - freegzuz (03/28/2014) [-]
I know son
User avatar #73 to #44 - skilletpanhead (03/28/2014) [-]
Everybody stutters one way or the other.
User avatar #72 - thebritishguy (03/28/2014) [-]
I'm like 80% sure that she got pregnant from unprotected sex rather than cum fingers, it's just way more likely
#25 - rokkai ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
whoa... that's...  GENIUS
whoa... that's... GENIUS
#11 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
7 months later though? probably the other guys kid then.. Usually if a child is born a month premature, you can tell its a month premature.
#12 to #11 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
pre mature is censored...

rly
User avatar #28 to #11 - applebucker (03/28/2014) [-]
It wasn't born 7 months later, she was just super pregnant 7 months later.
#15 to #11 - anon (03/28/2014) [-]
I think it's the moment when she's 7 months in and she can't hide the fact that "shes prego as **** "
User avatar #34 - adu (03/28/2014) [-]
Hearing the story, it's most likely that the first guy legitimately did get her pregnant, and mister semen-fingers didn't actually do anything.
#24 - almightybenjamin (03/28/2014) [-]
riiiiight.      it doesnt work like that
riiiiight. it doesnt work like that
#97 - kingsaged (03/28/2014) [-]
**kingsaged rolled image** cocksuckers face when
User avatar #56 - fukkentyranitar ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
That's not how conception works though...
User avatar #60 to #56 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
It can work that way, penis doesn't necessarily need to go in for baby to come out.
User avatar #61 to #60 - fukkentyranitar ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
He said he rubbed the jizz into his hands like lotion.
User avatar #63 to #61 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
It only takes one sperm for everything to get all family like.
#70 to #63 - onkii (03/28/2014) [-]
True, but sperm are not superheros. They usually tend to die within a few minutes of being in the air and if they were rubbed into the skin before being rubbed into the vagina, it's extremely unlikely (somewhere between 95/98% unlikely) that she could have gotten pregnant this way. It's actually somewhat difficult to get a woman pregnant - all of the conditions must be virtually perfect. One must take into account that the woman must also be ovulating (which is a window of about 3 days out of the month, starting about 7 days after the menstrual cycle). Another thing I must add, the vagina is a TERRIBLE place to be if you're a sperm. The body/immune system sees the sperm as intruders and treats them as such, trying to flush them out of the system. That's why so many sperms are needed to impregnate a woman, because so many of them are killed off almost immediately because of this. This girl would have had to be incredibly unlucky for this to happen to her, and those sperms would have had to be incredibly, well, incredible for this to happen.
User avatar #78 to #70 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
I'm not saying this will happen every time, I agree that it is very unlikely. Just saying that it can.
#80 to #78 - onkii (03/28/2014) [-]
Fair enough. But I feel like there are a lot of sexually-uneducated teens on this site that have absolutely no idea how things work
Fair enough. But I feel like there are a lot of sexually-uneducated teens on this site that have absolutely no idea how things work
#88 to #80 - xcoreyx (03/28/2014) [-]
Can we just stop the argument and take a moment to appreciate the awesomeness of that gif?
User avatar #89 to #88 - onkii (03/28/2014) [-]
It represents my sex life
User avatar #81 to #80 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
There are, it's kind of annoying but I guess I don't have any room to complain since I joined this site back when I was 15 and have been here since I was 9. I haven't been any better than them for very long.
User avatar #82 to #81 - onkii (03/28/2014) [-]
I may be a functioning adult but sometimes I question my own self because I keep coming here


-shrug-
User avatar #85 to #82 - xCONGiEx ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
Just remember the words of Stitch. Our family is broken, but still good.
User avatar #104 to #63 - cumbersome (03/28/2014) [-]
Actually it does take more than one sperm. Breaking through the cell wall of the egg is a group effort, the first one to get there is not usually the one that fertilizes it.
User avatar #64 to #61 - zekeon (03/28/2014) [-]
And then fingered her.

As in, put his fingers inside.

It's not a difficult conception.
User avatar #69 to #56 - lesolan ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
The level of stupid people thinking it could have happened is... staggering...
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