not your standard office lunch thief. . fik? To the person who Keeps stealing my sandwiches Turkey and Swiss with mow on rye), This is ridiculous. We ore all ad
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not your standard office lunch thief

fik?
To the person who Keeps
stealing my sandwiches
Turkey and Swiss with
mow on rye),
This is ridiculous. We
ore all adults,
not children. Please take
responsibility for your'
rians Md stop sselling
other people' s pr'
...
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#1 - neocortex (08/20/2014) [-]
Well, that backfired
#4 - aryastarkismywaifu (08/20/2014) [-]
I absolutely lost my **** when he started the "Mankind's flaws"-rant
#18 - Sworley (08/20/2014) [+] (4 replies)
User avatar #3 - desecrater (08/20/2014) [-]
If he was a cool guy and bought her a new sandwich, this would be pretty funny. But in the end he was just a jerk
#11 - squidgy (08/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Bitch you do not steal a dude's sandwich

That **** is his bread and butter

wait
User avatar #16 - Ashtaroth (08/20/2014) [+] (8 replies)
During my rough and tumble days of bouncing from job to job, I managed to cling to a phone reservations job for a major airline for about a year. 600 people in the building. One day, I go to get lunch and it's gone from the fridge. This repeated for several days. Asked around and I wasn't even the only person it was happening to. 3 other peoples' lunches disappeared daily as well. We thought maybe it was multiple people or somebody doing their grocery shopping in the break room. Finally got sick of it, went to the store and bought 1 Habanero chile. Took it home, cut it into nice little rings, and laid them between the meat and cheese of my sandwich for the next day, which I proceeded to lay on a piece of paper at the bottom. On that I simply wrote " **** you. Enjoy!".

So I'm about 3 hours into my shift when I hear somebody yelling and screaming in the breakroom (which was several hundred feet from my desk and down a hall, around a corner). Somebody comes running out to the OC (Operations Control) desk yelling that somebody had been poisoned and call 911. Some 30 minutes later the paramedics come out of the break room wheeling this morbidly obese bastard out the door on a stretcher. I'd never seen him before, so didn't have any suspicion as to who was doing it (he worked in IT, as it happens, and thus was in a different section of the building entirely and so free to anonymously expand his waistline at other peoples' expense). Turns out he had some sort of hypersensitivity to hot stuff and probably would have freaked out he tasted Pace mild salsa mixed at a 1/1 ratio with tomato sauce. And I fed his lardliness the world's hottest naturally occurring chile. Apparently he very nearly died as a result and spent several days in the hospital. The fridge raiding never resumed.

My only regret is that this was when phone cameras were still pretty rare, so I couldn't easily photo-document it all.
#27 - fefeta (08/21/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Don't steal sandwich from people, they'll get mad at you
#71 - josieabby (08/21/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#15 - CaptainWaffles (08/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
"Please don't fire me." Lol that's what you get for being a prick. I can't stand assholes that think it's okay to steal other people's lunches. They get what they deserve, whether it's being fired or getting uncontrollable explosive diarrhea from the massive amounts of laced laxatives...
"Please don't fire me." Lol that's what you get for being a prick. I can't stand assholes that think it's okay to steal other people's lunches. They get what they deserve, whether it's being fired or getting uncontrollable explosive diarrhea from the massive amounts of laced laxatives...
#6 - anonymous (08/20/2014) [+] (2 replies)
She deserves it for using comic sans.
#9 to #6 - zyketor (08/20/2014) [-]
I was going to say she deserves it for using the exclamation point too much! It's just rediculous! Takes away the meaning of it, you know!
User avatar #86 - alfibrakiz ONLINE (08/21/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Who the **** makes a sandwich just to put it in the fridge for later?
User avatar #100 to #86 - lotengo ONLINE (08/21/2014) [-]
people who take their lunch to work.
#61 - valiantaura (08/21/2014) [-]
HFW he meets Tina at her office
#80 - scowler (08/21/2014) [-]
It's likely fake, but that doesn't change how amusing it is.
It's likely fake, but that doesn't change how amusing it is.
#13 - juha (08/20/2014) [-]
#74 - Customer Services (08/21/2014) [-]
>Knew it was coming   
>Still 						******					 with her   
>Enjoy being homeless. Lol
>Knew it was coming
>Still ****** with her
>Enjoy being homeless. Lol
User avatar #10 - edwardtrollington (08/20/2014) [-]
That guy's still a dick.
#34 - theturtlehermit (08/21/2014) [-]
No one ever seems to source theChive on here. Ya'll will lose your **** over a Tumblr post. Wont point out theChive
User avatar #96 - thekeeperofthumbs (08/21/2014) [+] (1 reply)
>please don't fire me
Laughed audibly at that
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