not your standard office lunch thief. . fik? To the person who Keeps stealing my sandwiches Turkey and Swiss with mow on rye), This is ridiculous. We ore all ad not your standard office lunch thief fik? To the person who Keeps stealing my sandwiches Turkey and Swiss with mow on rye) This is ridiculous We ore all ad
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[ 130 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - neocortex
Reply +651 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
Well, that backfired
#4 - aryastarkismywaifu
Reply +236 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
I absolutely lost my **** when he started the "Mankind's flaws"-rant
#18 - Sworley
Reply +206 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
#84 to #18 - tezzo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
oh so you started using Mayo instead?
#97 to #84 - anon id: c3bf3829
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
...wat.
#98 to #97 - tezzo
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
**tezzo rolled image** Look its late man and I meant to say Miracle Whip....
User avatar #99 to #18 - anonemus
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
Ooooooohhh...
It's Miracle Whip.
User avatar #3 - desecrater
Reply +111 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
If he was a cool guy and bought her a new sandwich, this would be pretty funny. But in the end he was just a jerk
#11 - squidgy
Reply +86 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
Bitch you do not steal a dude's sandwich

That **** is his bread and butter

wait
#36 to #11 - Ethshar
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
and meat and cheese
User avatar #16 - Ashtaroth
Reply +68 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
During my rough and tumble days of bouncing from job to job, I managed to cling to a phone reservations job for a major airline for about a year. 600 people in the building. One day, I go to get lunch and it's gone from the fridge. This repeated for several days. Asked around and I wasn't even the only person it was happening to. 3 other peoples' lunches disappeared daily as well. We thought maybe it was multiple people or somebody doing their grocery shopping in the break room. Finally got sick of it, went to the store and bought 1 Habanero chile. Took it home, cut it into nice little rings, and laid them between the meat and cheese of my sandwich for the next day, which I proceeded to lay on a piece of paper at the bottom. On that I simply wrote "**** you. Enjoy!".

So I'm about 3 hours into my shift when I hear somebody yelling and screaming in the breakroom (which was several hundred feet from my desk and down a hall, around a corner). Somebody comes running out to the OC (Operations Control) desk yelling that somebody had been poisoned and call 911. Some 30 minutes later the paramedics come out of the break room wheeling this morbidly obese bastard out the door on a stretcher. I'd never seen him before, so didn't have any suspicion as to who was doing it (he worked in IT, as it happens, and thus was in a different section of the building entirely and so free to anonymously expand his waistline at other peoples' expense). Turns out he had some sort of hypersensitivity to hot stuff and probably would have freaked out he tasted Pace mild salsa mixed at a 1/1 ratio with tomato sauce. And I fed his lardliness the world's hottest naturally occurring chile. Apparently he very nearly died as a result and spent several days in the hospital. The fridge raiding never resumed.

My only regret is that this was when phone cameras were still pretty rare, so I couldn't easily photo-document it all.
#35 to #16 - Ethshar
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
I don't think that's the hottest naturally occurring,but still,well done.
#39 to #35 - grandterskrasao
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
There are hotter peppers, however, those have been genetically bred by humans to be hotter. The Habenero is the hottest non-modified pepper.
#72 to #16 - supercookieduster
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
heh, that's great
#119 to #16 - wwhhaaq
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
some will call you a monster, but you will always be the true defender of mankind
some will call you a monster, but you will always be the true defender of mankind
User avatar #17 to #16 - Ashtaroth
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
TL;DR I fed super hot chile peppers to a fat ass fridge raider at an office via concealment in a sandwich and it nearly killed him. Know the risks you take
User avatar #57 to #17 - chimpaflimp
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
The world's hottest natural chili is the Bhut Jolokia, or "Ghost Chili". The Scotch Bonnet is second, which means Habanero could be third, but definitely not the hottest of all.
#129 to #57 - Ashtaroth
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(08/22/2014) [-]
You down-thumbed me for stating fact? Seriously?
User avatar #128 to #57 - Ashtaroth
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
Difference is, those chiles have been cross bred repeatedly to achieve their scorching tendencies. The Habanero grows naturally that hot without interference. Also, a new type of chile called the "Carolina Reaper" is now the hottest chile that exists, as of 2013, pushing the Naga (Bhut) to third place, behind the 2nd place Trinidad Moruga Scorpion, which surpassed the Naga in 2012.
#19 - maaarknuuuut
Reply +54 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
#27 - fefeta
Reply +41 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
Don't steal sandwich from people, they'll get mad at you
User avatar #40 to #27 - thempc
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
dis sandvich theif seems to be smart, but he is not smarter zan boolet
User avatar #28 to #27 - navadae
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
dont you mean... sandvich?
#71 - josieabby
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#15 - CaptainWaffles
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(08/20/2014) [-]
"Please don't fire me." Lol that's what you get for being a prick. I can't stand assholes that think it's okay to steal other people's lunches. They get what they deserve, whether it's being fired or getting uncontrollable explosive diarrhea from the massive amounts of laced laxatives...
"Please don't fire me." Lol that's what you get for being a prick. I can't stand assholes that think it's okay to steal other people's lunches. They get what they deserve, whether it's being fired or getting uncontrollable explosive diarrhea from the massive amounts of laced laxatives...
#122 to #15 - anon id: 3429ff31
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/21/2014) [-]
Sure. But at least the guy had a sense of humor, unlike everyone else. He would get one sandwich steal from me for that humor. One.