lets begin. . The English Language is About To Change. the You Ready For This? The European Commission wasjust announced an agreement whereby English will be th
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lets begin

The English Language is About To Change.
the You Ready For This?
The European Commission wasjust announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British
Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year plan that would become known
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.
Certainly, this will make the sevii servants jump
with joy.
The hard 'd will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This
should Hear up Konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome '' will be
replaced with 'f'. This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the rrd year, publik acceptance of the new
spelling kan be expected to reach the stage
where more complicated changes are possible.
Governments will encourage the removal of
double letters which have always hen a deterent
to acurate speling.
Also, wil are that the horibl mes of the silent
e' in the languag is and it should go
away.
By the Ath yer people wii be to steps
such as reprising '' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During " We yer, unecesary 'o' kan he dropd
from vords containing '' and after Ill Rh yer,
vil hav a reil sensual riden stye.
hr vii be no mm trubl or and evrywun vii
find it ezi TU understand ed: on. drem of a
united mop vii finale kum tru.
Und efter " titz yer, vii be speking German
like my vented in " font was.
...
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Submitted: 06/08/2014
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Comments(187):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #9 - willindor (06/08/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Why do I have the sudden urge to hide jews in my basement?
User avatar #2 - solidderking (06/08/2014) [+] (37 replies)
learn german is actually pretty easy, learn dutch or Dansk and pronounce everything with an angry voice
#6 - Soundtrack (06/08/2014) [+] (3 replies)
this is great
#48 - peanutsaurusrex ONLINE (06/08/2014) [+] (2 replies)
NOW WE CAN SPEAK AMERICAN AND CALL IT AMERICAN
#60 - keybladewarrior ONLINE (06/08/2014) [-]
When it changed to "z" I got a french accent. Then when I saw the rest of the writing, I surrendered.
#69 - dashgamer (06/09/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Mein Gott.
Mein Gott.
#47 - spelt (06/08/2014) [-]
Havent laughed like this in a few weeks on this website. Wasnt expecting that.
Havent laughed like this in a few weeks on this website. Wasnt expecting that.
User avatar #54 - traveltech (06/08/2014) [-]
First few
These are actually pretty sensible changes

eventually
Oh, I see now
User avatar #30 - mangostormlegend ONLINE (06/08/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Cyrillic is the alphabet of the Master Race, for it contains separate letters for "k", "s", "ch", "sh", a softer "sh", "ph", "iy", and even signs denoting the tone of the letter before it, just to name a few.
#51 to #30 - anonymous (06/08/2014) [-]
moonrunes*
#66 - pendejadas (06/09/2014) [-]
Idk why the accents changed in my mind as i continued through the post. First it began normally, then to the accent i use to read "lik dis if u cri evertim", then in french... like wtf?
#135 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [+] (3 replies)
This isn't real. Many years ago my teacher showed this to the class as a joke
#141 to #135 - lyiat ONLINE (06/09/2014) [-]
User avatar #116 - monswine (06/09/2014) [+] (12 replies)
nah man, if there's one thing English beats German at it's inventing new words instead of creating ridiculously long compound words.
#118 to #116 - fergij (06/09/2014) [-]
And world wars
#86 - ohaiialex (06/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
#137 - neverbeing (06/09/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Did I enjoy this one, yes I did.
Did I enjoy this one, yes I did.
#61 - frogthekermit (06/08/2014) [+] (1 reply)
zis is beutiful
User avatar #159 - cheesefry (06/09/2014) [+] (1 reply)
**** that. I've read 1984. First they start changing words and next thing you know they're watching me masturbate through my television.
#152 - Blackdrama (06/09/2014) [-]
Halfway through I began reading it in the voice of the epic-rap-battle-Hitler
#73 - anonymous (06/09/2014) [-]
Vat
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