i cant tell you what the first rule is. . CALL SEX FALSELY DIAGNOSE PATIENTS WITH. diagnosing someone with incurable disease put entire family through strife patient recieves unneeded treatment patient gets ill because of treatment all money g
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i cant tell you what the first rule is

CALL SEX
FALSELY DIAGNOSE PATIENTS WITH
...
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Views: 36532
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Submitted: 03/03/2014
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User avatar #2 - mrwalkerfour (03/03/2014) [+] (8 replies)
diagnosing someone with incurable disease

put entire family through strife
patient recieves unneeded treatment
patient gets ill because of treatment
all money gone to pay for treatment

end up poor and ill

life ruined
User avatar #6 - Brass (03/03/2014) [+] (7 replies)
My favorite, which is not on this comp, is:
-Inject all of Congress with Cancer.
-Watch disease be cured overnight.
User avatar #25 - HailtotheKing (03/04/2014) [+] (12 replies)
I've actually done the first one and it was really interesting.

I found this cheap one which was like $.50 an hour so I called them up. This is pretty much how it went.
"Hi, my name is Alexandria and I'll do anything you want *Tee hee*" With the typical sexy voice.
"Hey Alexandria, how's your day been?"
"Oh it's been so long and hard. I just want to relax with you."
"No really. How's your day been?"
"Uh, I just told you." She kind of stopped the sexy voice for a second then started up again. "Can I just cuddle up on your bed."
"I seriously want to know. No sexy voice, nothing sensual, just be yourself." Silence for a few seconds. "So how was your day?"
"Uhm. Alright I guess. My kid was late to school so I got here late and my boss is kind of an asshole." She completely changed her voice at this point. It was like night and day.
"Oh, that's too bad. Well I have about an hour to talk to you can just relax now."
"Uh, thank you. But you know I still have to charge you for this right?"
"I know." Silence for a while.
"Uh, sorry but this has never really happened. And I've been doing this for a while."
"How long?"
"Six years this Christmas. I started right after my kid was born. It was the only way for me to make money at the time *really awkward little laugh*"
"Hmm. Well from that little opening I can tell that you are pretty good. *we both actually laughed*"
"Hey, Uh, if you don't mind I'm going to go grab a cup of coffee. Uh, unless you want me to stay on here."
"Please, go. I'll probably be here when you get back."
She left for a minute or so then came back sounding more relaxed.
"Hey, Uh, thanks for this. I mean, I've probably had thousands of phone calls but not one like this."
And we talked for a while. Whole thing cost me $20 and it made someone's day. Try it out if you get a chance, it felt really good to do.
#11 - hairibar (03/03/2014) [+] (6 replies)
What is this meme called like?
User avatar #16 to #11 - existacne (03/03/2014) [-]
le fight club guy
#54 - tezel (03/04/2014) [+] (1 reply)
#24 - nibbero ONLINE (03/04/2014) [+] (8 replies)
User avatar #70 - jacklane (03/04/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Falsely diagnose someone with incurable disease...



Person shoots up everyone at Cedar Point on a mission to go out in a blaze of glory.
#18 - existacne (03/03/2014) [+] (2 replies)
This last one.
#78 - oborawatabinost (03/04/2014) [+] (1 reply)
In Tyler We Trust
In Tyler We Trust
User avatar #52 - spamalope (03/04/2014) [+] (2 replies)
The person who thinks they're going to die blows all their money doing what they love and then they become homeless.
User avatar #89 - kibbleking (03/04/2014) [-]
*Falsely diagnose patients with incurable disease*

*Patient spends all their money on worthless crap believing it's their last days, go bankrupt after finding out that they won't die, get sued and left on the streets by patients.*
User avatar #44 - chaoticlaw (03/04/2014) [+] (5 replies)
I once got into a fight with a middle-aged man and purposefully lost. I overheard him contemplate suicide. His wife supposedly cheated on him with his sister, so he was planning to jump off the Prince Edward Viaduct. I keep in contact with him, so he doesn't try again.
#59 - snakefire (03/04/2014) [-]
The patients kill themselves.
#27 - MasterManiac (03/04/2014) [-]
YFW the disease one goes wrong in more than one of a million different ways   
   
eg. depression and sometimes even suicide as a result (for example suicide of director Tony Scott - www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/film-news/9488655/Tony-Scott-tragic-illness-behind-Top-Gun-directors-suicide.html)
YFW the disease one goes wrong in more than one of a million different ways

eg. depression and sometimes even suicide as a result (for example suicide of director Tony Scott - www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/film-news/9488655/Tony-Scott-tragic-illness-behind-Top-Gun-directors-suicide.html)
#77 - anonymous (03/04/2014) [+] (3 replies)
let me let you guys in on a little secret. woman do not like to see drunk assholes fight. so unless you plan on taking home a gal who is rough as hell in terms of her personality don't fight to impress woman. I know from experience, the good looking normal women don't start jumping on your dick when you win a fight, the ghetto chicks do.
User avatar #88 to #77 - dungledoo (03/04/2014) [-]
would ya look at that, an anon that doesn't know what the hell they're talking about.
User avatar #68 - sketchE (03/04/2014) [+] (5 replies)
the last one is from choke
User avatar #66 - robotvoice (03/04/2014) [-]
I thought he was travis touchdown.
i appear to be wrong.
User avatar #43 - nocta ONLINE (03/04/2014) [+] (2 replies)
tyler durden is my spirit animal
User avatar #62 to #43 - Zyklone (03/04/2014) [-]
Great original
Such clever
User avatar #12 - SmilingJackSmyth (03/03/2014) [-]
I love these.
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