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How To Make Love
yields Angy klaus:
Abaut seven years age, all my friends my age get married. And abaut three years
after that, they all started having babies, which set inte meteen the idea that
eventually they' re genna have talk abaut sex their kids. And that just freaks
me em. I have were breakn, but nowthat' re I den' t haste
werry abaut this. , if I had the oppertunity suddenly be by
my sen as a young man asking me fer advice abaut sex... with girls... this is what
wwould say.
One: Buy Modems. Buy them and keep them with yeu at all times, and use them
befire yeu are asked use them. And use them every time. The peace mind
yeu aller yew partner will free her be vulnerable with yeu, and that, my sen, is
exactly what sex is abaut. Senders are sexy. In fact, call buying Modems
foreplay. {: If yeu are tee embarrassed buy Modems, yeu are net
ready have sex.)
Tww. Kissing is net merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making em en the
Much while fully clothed. Believe me, reeks.
Three: Sex is net just abaut friction. It' s abaut emotion. Step trying find her
cliterus and find her heart. Because than she' ll help yeu find her cliterus.
Few: If yeu really wanna knew hew please a weman, ask her hew she
masturbates. Than that. A let. If she claims she deosn' t masturbate, effer
take her sheeping fer a vibrater yeu can beth learn the vocabulary her bedy
tegether.
Five: Deni put anything in her butthole yeu wouldn' t want in yew ewn. {:
Try a pinky finger, it' s kinda awssome.
Six: When yeu dawn en harland yeu will dawn en her, and if yeu are my
sen, yeu will be amazing at her hew geed she tastes. Step in the middle
and kiss her deeply she mews hew geed she tastes. De the same when she
gees dawn en ye u.
Seven: A simple Seems search will yield 1, 32? ms fer male
masturbation, yet anly 23 fer female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking
eff and mere time jilling eff, this werld weild be a happier place.
Eight: Everything yeu need knew abaut the impedance ofthe cliterus is in the
mews Star Wars. Wu are Luke Skywalker piloting yew
Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent all Death Stars
canned be blewn up through penetration ofthe trench alene. It must be through
focused Intact with that little exhaust pert at the tep the trench. Otherwise,
any explosions yeu experience will be merely Gillyweed special effects.
Nine: Just because yeu Mme deosn' t mean she has, den' t yeu dare Mme
befire her. Fecks en yew partner. Deni werry abaut gettin' yews,
yeu' rs a guy. Wu always get yews. ‘few jeb is make sure she' s gettin' hers.
Ten: If sex with yew partner lasts M lenger than this Mam, yeu are net making
mus. Wu are masturbating with her bedy instead yew hand. Shame en yeu. Se
back step ens. Strive get a let learning tath
Leave, Dad.
Source: #perce. -tel
...
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Views: 3212
Favorited: 18
Submitted: 07/22/2014
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - tittylovin (07/23/2014) [+] (3 replies)
>kiss her when she's blowing you so you can taste your dick
wat
#4 - qwertywtf (07/23/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I disagree with a lot of these. I don't have a lot of experience with different girls, but I have made love and had really dirty sex and everything in between, so here are my OPINIONS on these.
1. buying condoms isn't sexy. I do agree that if you're too embarrassed to buy them you shouldn't be having sex.
2. Dry-humping leads to chafing for the both of you, however, making out is indeed awesome, and doesn't have to lead to sex. That's part of a great relationship is where you enjoy every moment getting to kiss and touch them without having to **** them.
3. Definitely focus on finding her clit, because it isn't that hard. Yeah, "find her heart" too.
4. In my experience, most girls just rub their clits, and they don't know specifically how and in what motions they do it. So asking probably won't always help.
5. How about you ask if she'd like anything in her ass, and what would she like that to be? Don't do anything anal without knowing if they want it. It's just rude.
6. Some girls don't want to know what they taste like. Mine doesn't kiss me for a bit after I eat her out because she doesn't like the taste. You can tell her she tastes good (if she does) but again, it might gross her out if you just kiss her.
7. That... doesn't even make any sense in relation to this conversation. Focus on her instead of yourself, I guess?
8. Retarded as **** explanation. You shouldn't have to have it explained to you in some stupid Star Wars metaphor. If you're autistic/stupid enough to need it to be explained through goddamned STAR WARS analogies, you're not getting any anyways.
9. Redundant of 7, and is also making it seem like cumming first is a bad thing. We can't always help it. It sucks that she doesn't get off, but sometimes they're not going to, and that's okay, as long as you both still enjoy it.
10. Not a poem, and again, can't always help if you cum first. If you try to not to but still do and it was still about her, then it's fine. cont. in comments
#11 - klutzyspy (07/23/2014) [-]
Eleven: Not two women want the same, so forget this list and fool around.
#6 - anonymous (07/23/2014) [+] (1 reply)
1) Insert penis fully
2) Partially remove
3) repeat until done or tired
User avatar #3 - littleliz (07/23/2014) [-]
this is amazing advice. but honestly i think females should read this more than males.
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