how to be lazy

USED TO HAVE A
CUP ON. CUP LIGHT
IN MY ROOM. I HATED
SO I JUST MADE AN AUDIO
RECORDING OF ME [Iif. l' l' '
AND MAPPED IT TO ONE
OF THE PROGRAMMABLE KEYS
ON MY KEYBOARD."
ill ONCE WATCHED 2 HOURS OF
ANTIONE ROADSHOW BECAUSE
THE CAT BUMPED UP IN FRONT
OF MY TV SENSOR AS I WAS
******* THROUGH CHANNELS
AND FELL ASLEEP."
I ALWAYS HEAT THINGS IN THE
MICROWAVE FOR I: II OR 2: 22
BECAUSE m M LAZY
Til MOVE MY FINGERS Til THE
BEFORE I HIT START."
SHOT -lla NERF DARTS AT MY
LIGHT SWITCH. FROM BED. MISSED
ALL OF THEM Mil SEPT
WITH THE LIGHTS M."
I CALLED THE RESTAURANT I WAS AT Til SEND
THE WALTER BACK TO MY TABLE"
l DOWNLOADERS MOVE WEIRD or GONG FIND THE DVD Fl
DROVE Til CLASS. ESCALATORS
UP TO THIRD FLOOR CLASSROOM
WERE BROKEN. WENT HOME."
WASHED BED SHEETS. DIDN' T
NT THE SHEETS ON 2
MONTHS LATER."
A BUDDY OF MINE
WAS LAYING IN BED ONE MORNING.
PICKED HIS NOSE Mil
Mil till WHERE TO PUT IT
SO IE PUT IT BACK IN MI NYSE."