Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the midflight 'safety
lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some
real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you
want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when
a flight attendant announced, People, people we‘ re not picking out
furniture here, Md a seat and get in it!"
On another flight with a very "senior' flight attendant crew, the pilot
said, ladies and gentlemen, we' reached cruising altitude and will
be turning down the cabin eights. This is for your comfort and to
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants
On landing, the stewardess said, Please be sure to take all of your
belongings.. If you' re going to leave anything, please make sure it' s
something we' d like to have."
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways
out of this airplane."
Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the
business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport "
lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOM‘
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karon,
a flight attendant on a flight announced, Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like
that, sure as hell everything has shifted'
From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port
Elizabeth Jo operate your seat bet insert the metal tab into the
buckle, pull tight. It like every other seat belt; and, if you
don' t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn' t be out in
In the event ofa sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite."
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we' ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and
remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula
Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with
As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants, Please do not leave children or spouses."
And from the pilot during his welcome message'. ‘Kulula Airlines is
pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants
in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town :The
flight attendant came on the intercom and said, ‘That was quite a
bump and I know what y' all are thinking. I' m here to tell you it wasn' t
the airline' s fault; it wasn' t the pilot' s fault, it wasn' t the flight
attendants fault; it was the asphalt."
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Capetown , on a particularly windy
and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to
fight t After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in
your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what' s
left of our airplane to the gate!"
Mother flight attendant' s comment on a less than perfect landing:
We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroos to the
M airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first other to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, smile, and give them a ‘Thanks for (lying our airline. He said
that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with
a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'
Why, no Ma' am," said the pilot. 'What is it?" The little old lady said,
Tid we land, or were we shot down?"