Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out,
and had been decidedly overenthusiastic on the
cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they
suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were
very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they
do their business behind a headstone or something. The
first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her
panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend
however was wearing an expensive underwear set and
didn' t want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to
salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a
grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After
finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman' s husband phones the
other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out
have got to stop. My wife came home last night without
her panties." "That' s nothing," said the other. "Mine
came back with a sympathy card stuck between the
cheeks of her butt that said, ‘From all of us at the Fire
Station, Well never forget trout'
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15
yea rs. He breaks into a house to look for money and
guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him toa chair,
while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her,
kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
bathroom. While he' s in there, the husband tells his
Listen, this guy' s an escaped convict, look at his
clothes! He probably spent hats of time in jail and hasn' t
seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don' t resist, don' t complain, do
whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much
he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he' ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love
To which his wife responds: "He wasn' t kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay,
thought you were cute, and asked me ifhe had any
vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong
honey. I love you tool!"
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I' m a
virgin and I don' t know
anything about sex. can you explain it to me first?"
OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your
private place 'the
Primm' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. so what
we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling
Hedging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner
seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of
making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady
legs of a recently
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped
Limply turning his head, He TELLS at her, "Hey, its not a
life sentence, '?"
Mower of this ctr
For mom of this