Bill Murray in a
ll was sitting at home leading the m Murray
stories when all or a sudden there' s a knock w the
doo.. I w. to answer the door and see that It is
myself. ll looked to the WHO: we keep by the door
and see my .errection that Is not . I' been
replaced with a ' and bearded man. ll
um hack to myself a the two way and " me,
No one will eve. believe you. I then (lose the
door and look Into the mine: In which ll am myself.
Fuck you BIN Murray. Fuck you.
Bill Murray and the
I had 'dimly: mam the . rett sandwich. Ham,
turkey, cheddar and provolone cheese, lettuce,
to. o, sprouts, mustard and submarine dressing.
As I went to my dunk, I see a
shady, bearded man run ove. to my table, and
men the mm few bite or my heavenly sandwich. I
begin to protest this when ll notice that It Is none
other than m God Damn Murray. G. Inning, he
begins Inching towards the door, locks . st. aight
In the eyes, and shouts so that all In the
restaurant can heal hm, “No one will eve. believe
yam!" and walks out.
Bill Murray and the Brazilian Ox
so, ll was wacking one night In my country house,
and ll saw an neighbor' s ox. ll really like axes, so ll
went closer. when ll was almost near the " I
heard a voice taming from behind me. It was a
unknown, yet . voice. It said, don' t go too
close, It might attack you. ll looked behind me and
saw a aging man, we m nice and comfortable
clothes. It was rucking m Murray.
ll became speechless, mostly because he somehow
has managed to get a mm or my pants. And he
was wearing them now. I just stood there, as he
turned around, and, Mile wacking away, said “No
one will eve. believe you."
Thanks Luis from Brazil
Bill Murray lounges in
SO ll was . my friend out in Santa Manta for
the day, she walks the reception desk at this
p. Etty upscale hotel and she' s always telling me
stories about which 'aim Celebrity is there that
Anyway she was on break and we were sitting
down ha W. dinner togethe. In the ha. when
rackin" an ..u. z. walks up, leans ove. and
picks a New or potato my plate wth his have
ﬁngers and just pops It In ms mouth. ll just sort or
stale t Mt and he' s me In the eye
and as he chews and swallows.
And you know what the best part I he
says. We one will eve. believe you." And he walks
Man, ruck m Murray.
Bill Murray Enjoys Golf
True Story. ll was playing a round or golf at the
club when ll noticed I' d lost my watch.
my group, ll went hack to the p. ovious hole to look
m. I' Before I could eve. warn the group behind
me, I hear “FORE and a split second later, I' m on
the ground with a ' h. 1 and wobbly
vision ll look up to see a ' mlm
n my . ection, before d. apping hack
down arm 1. He sped up a little, and It was then
that ll no -ed It was non other than m Murray. He
was now p. Etty much level with me and with a
swift step, ll saw something being projected from
his root, from " come. or my eye. The mam
hitch was cheat... He leaned down ove. me, "
the pretext or checking Ir ll was ck, hut what he
actually did was smile smugger and say In a low
Va e “No one MN eve. believe you." And with a
pop or he club, he jumped up, yeling “HE' S om" to
he group. To the day, I' m convinced that the
bastard was ming for ...e all along, and what' s
worse, I neve. found my "
Apparently, Bill Likes Cheesy
was wacking, a little drunk, down by the pier In
He. mosa Beach, Ca while eating some cheetohs. I
turned mound and run Into someone so hard that I
to the ground. It was BIN Murray. He pulls me
up and says “No one will eve. believe you," grabs
my Cheetahs and walks away eating them"
tti' at home on my day " watching the
struggle when the doo. hen Hugs. ll
peek out the window to see some om guy wth an
eye patch hack at me. He knows I' m home
so ll have to open the doo.. “Hello, am he says In a
vaguely ram" . m e. “I' m from the church or later
day Q as and was wondering Ir ll might have just
a few minutes or you. time".
ll took a drag my cigarette and said something
like “Jesus Christ you mam exactky like BIN rackin
He then grabbed my smoke, took a New drag,
flipped up he eye patch, smiled and m
We one will eve. behave you"
And then he walked awa .