How to **** your best (girl) friend
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El : tikl No.
CO.' So, you' re in toys with one of your friends, but she hat a boyfriend and probably have set: with you
What you will need: t I knife. 1 x ring. access to a sunbed. the ability to grow a beard-
Step Cine: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with your friend for a month.
Step Two: Step sharing and use the sunbed to gain ates.
Will countinue_ Just
Step Three: After a month when your board is full and your tan is noticeable, renters the ring from your linger.
Step Four: Renters ‘all your clothes and break into your friends house.
Step Five: use the knife to cut your body in. venous clamato.. Amid the face- , focus on your back. The more bleed the better.
Step Six: Enter your friend' s bedroom and its face down on the freer. Wait for her meum.
Cl Anonymous : . Ntt.
Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious. Aloe her to turn you ever and try to wake you for a few seconds before you. open
your eyes- The injuries to your body will some as a distraction to your nakedness. She will be more concerned about your withing instead of testing
the naked man in her room:
Step Eight: When she asks you what' s happened you shared ignore her questions. Instead you must are confused and ask the date. H' s September
wtith she will say September 15th‘ to which you must reply 'No,. what year is it?'
Stop Mine: Upen he' aring the year say. the words worked.’ Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has
worked took a great effort.
Step Ten: Hour friend is a curious person she will probably ask workedd", even "righty doese‘ t- ask this question it is importers that you new say
the. words ‘(Insert Friend' s Name). from the future‘ in your most deadpan voice.
Step Eleven: Pause fence seconds to litlte situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim. because
your beard will make you appear many and your cuts would add weight to the idea that yanks some from a titers were a
war is currently taking place..
Step Twelve: Home your left hand to your fees. Al women are very observant. so your tiered will immediately notice the Hartline on Tour wedding (itried, if
shahs educated to a decent standard she will realise that you are manned and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items
armour travel through time. ‘four nudity will support this.
Step Thirteen: New comes the head part . The monologue- In your own words you must give a speech in which you mention all ofthose key points:
at You are manned to each other in the future
b) Her sunset boyfriend is dead
e) The world is coming to an end. " up to you to pick a reason. but wwould recommend a war against machines. This irritate situation will be backed up
by the Terminator franchise
it In the faktum your relationship is not going well
at hooks some back in time because you not been but feel that she would has been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadnt been killed
bssm current l: recipient' is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. She should stop' him going to wort: that day
g) does atrocity what you say this current of yourselfkill be erased and you will never get married. new qut! . this new in your
travel logic. because you cannot change the past. simply reference Back to the Future
Step Fourteen: Unless your friend is made of stone she will new be by emotion. especially at your Get to your but and go to
kiss her goodbye. his important that you its this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times.
Step Fifteen: There is new no possible way that you areal about to have sent with her. Touts naked, kissing her. in her' bedroom. agreeing to erase a
torsion of history to make her happy. Arid as far nabs knows putts had sear: many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she
thinks to maybe she should have one mommy ifit,
Step Siv: teen.' Mist having the : r_. esk to borrow some clothes then lease.
Sign Seventeen: Show " your been and out your wedding finger in tetra tan. they on so if nothing has happened. There will be three possible
I) theing the sear some feelings that she didnt know striated are awakened and she will leave her for you.
cl) Life will saw on as normal.
it You will be ideed with guilt because more moral grey area where you aren' t entirely sure Swat you' as some kind level rape
you will take your own its by hanging, overdose or .
Prove are witzig.
This anion is a sail mastermind-