1. Little Johnny' s father asked him, ‘ Do you know about the birds and the
I don' t want to know!‘ little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong.
Oh dad, . Little Johnny subbed, "At age six I got the ‘there' s no Santa'
speech. At age seven I got the ‘there' s no Easter bunny' speech. Then at
age 8 you hit me with the ‘there' s no tooth fairy' speech! It you' re going to
tell me now that don' t really fuck, I' got nothing left to live
2. one night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so
he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can!
please sleep with you tonight? ".
His teacher replies " "
Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".
OK then, just for tonight‘ the teacher replies.
into bed with hvrand asks "Miss can I please play with your
belly button with my finger".
She again says "NO".
But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.
Well I suppose it' s " replies the teacher.
Things are silent fora few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming
THAT' S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"
Little Johnny replies " aint my firebreather".
3. Little Johnny goes to his father and asks, "Dad, is god a man or a
His Dad replies, "Johnny, both. God is both."
Johnny asks, "Dad, is god black oowhite?'
His Dad says, "Both. God is both."
then Johnny asks, "Dad, is Michael Jackson God?"
4. One day a lady from the church had come over and had given a gift for
all the wonderful lennons that her husband has given.
Mrs. Johnson had said, ‘Thank you very much but what is it?''
The lady said, "it is a Damn ham.‘
Mrs. Johnson looked shocked and said, ‘Don' t speak that way to me, don' t
you know that I am the preachers trite"
The lady said, "Yes, yes I know, but that is the brand name of the ham!‘
Mrs. Johnson said, ‘ooh I see well thank you'' and the lady left.
Later that night when Mrs. Johnson was cooking dinner the preacher came
into the kitchen and said, 'Mamm! That smells really good! What is it?''
Mrs. Johnson said," Well thats your dinner tonight, some Damn Ham''
The preacher was shocked and said, ‘Don' t speak to me that way!
Don' t you know who I am?''
Mrs. Johnson said, "Yes, yes! I know who you are! It isjust the brand
The preacher said, ‘Oh! I see! Well it smells great!‘
That night when dinner was ready she had set it out on the table. The
corn, mashed potatoes, rolls, and ham!
When the family sat down they said their prayers and began to eat. The
preacher said to his wife, ‘could you please pass me some of that
Damn ham? The wife said "sure'' .
Then little Johnny said, "Alright dad! While you' re at it can you pass me
the fucking mashed potatoes!‘
5. one day two very loving parents got into a huge tight, the man called
the women a ‘bitch‘ and the women called the man a "bastard".
walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?' and
the parents replied ‘ladies and gentlemen".
The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said 'Heel my
titties" and the man said 'Heel my dick‘ .
Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean." and
the parents replied ‘ hats and coats‘ .
On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he out himself, "Shit'' he said,
the kid came in and asked ‘What' s that mean" and the man said itwas
the brand shaving cream he was using.
Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself,
Fuck‘ she said. Once again the kid asked "What' s that mean'' the mom
said that is what she calls staning the turkey.
Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and
said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the
closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit " his face, and my mom is in
the kitchen fucking the turkey!
There are no dedications
so STOP FUCKING ASKING