Little Johnny Jokes. This is part 1, would you like A part 2 ?<br /> Hope you enjoyed, And I hope you lol'd. 1. Little Johnny returns from school and says
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Little Johnny Jokes

This is part 1, would you like A part 2 ?<br />
Hope you enjoyed, And I hope you lol'd

1. Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
Why?" asks the father.
The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
But that' s right!''
Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?"'
What' s the difference?" asks the father.
That' s what I said!
2. Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says
that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only
humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this.
Johnny' s hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says.
Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher.
Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the
verandah. The neighbours' Great Dane came around the
corner, and my cat went "! ', and
before he could say “FEW/ o# OFF'.", the dog ate him!"
3. one night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Uncle Bill
died. He woke up and that evening, his dad got a call saying
that Uncle Bill died. The next night, Little Johnny went to sleep
and dreamt his Aunt Joy died. He woke up, and then that
evening, his dad got a call saying that Aunt Joy died He told
his daddy, "Two days ago, I had a dream Uncle Bill ied, and
then yesterday, I had a dream Aunt Joy died.
His dad said, "that' s just a coincidence."
The next morning he tells his dad, "I had a dream that my dad
died."
His dad was rearmed. He had the worst day at work and took
every precaution. He didn' t eat any of the food in case of food
poisoning, and he drove slowly in case of a car wreck. When he
Fmaily got home, Little Johnny' s mom asks him how his day at
work was. "Much more horrible than your day I' m sure," his
dad replied.
I don' t know," said his mom, "The milkman dropped dead on
the front porch today!
B. While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed
that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.
Did you get that for your birthday?' asked Little Johnny.
Nope,' replied Jimmy.
Well, did you get it for Christmas then?'
Again Jimmy says, 'Nope.'
You didn' t steal it, did you?' asks Little Johnny.
No,' said Jimmy. ‘I went into Mom and Dad' s bedroom the
other night when they were 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his
watch to get rid of me.
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and
extremely jealous of Jimmy' s new watch. He vowed to get one
for himself.
That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he
heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode
into the bedroom.
His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily,
What do you want now?'
I wanna watch,' Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said, Tine. Stand in the
comer, but keep quiet.'
5. Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His
mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the
way he acts. She said, "Well Johnny, it isn' t Christmas and we
don' t have the money to just go out and buy you anything you
want. So why don' t you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one
instead."
After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He
Finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus,
I' been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new
bicycle.
Your Friend,
Johnny
Now Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he
was (a brat). So he ripped up the letter and decided to give it
another try.
Dear Jesus,
I' been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours truly,
Johnny
Well, Johnny knew this wasn' t totally honest so he tore it up
and tried again.
Dear Jesus,
I' thought about being a good boy this year and can I have
a bicycle?
Johnny
Well Johnny looked deep down in his heart, which by the way
was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been
terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up
the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running out of the
house. He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the
way he treated his parents and really considered his actions.
He Finally found himself in front of a Catholic church. Johnny
went inside and knelt down, looking around, not knowing what
he should really do. Johnny rurally got up and began to walk out
the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he
grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary and ran out the door.
He went home, hid the statue under his bed and wrote this
letter:
Jesus,
I' got your mum. If you ever want to see her again, give me a
bike.
Want mom?
...
+625
Views: 22730
Favorited: 111
Submitted: 07/21/2010
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Comments(79):

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#29 - welshsheepbaaa **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [+] (1 reply)
little jonny and his dad are driving along in the car when the police stop him for speeding " ******* bastards" he said ,"dad what does bastard mean??
"just another word for police son.When they get back home his father is upstairs shaving when he cuts himself "bollocks"son asked "dad what does bollocks mean? "just another word for chin son.
so he goes to the kitchen where his mum is cooking chicken , " ******* hell" she said when she burned her self "mum what does ******* mean?"just another word for cooking son. theres a knock at the door the little boy answers it to find the police "MUM ,DAD THE BASTARDS ARE HERE! DADS UP STAIRS SHAVING HIS BOLLOCKS AND MUMS IN THE KITCHEN ******* A CHICKEN!
#2 - xXJkillerXx **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [-]
One day, the teacher puts a honey bun on each of the kids desks. When all the kids walk in they all look confused, so the teacher asks, "Does anyone know what these are?" when none of them say anything, she says, "Well they're sometimes what your mom calls your dad when he gets home from work." Johnny suddenly yells, "DON'T EAT THEM THEY'RE ASSHOLES!"
#6 - OrionTheNarwhal **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [+] (1 reply)
well, johnny is obviously white. If he was black, he would have just stolen the bike
#4 - ECT **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [+] (2 replies)
Oh lil' Johnny. I got a friend that told me about lil' Johnny, I'll see if I can get the story on here for ya'.
#70 - ILoveToFU **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Little Johnny was sitting at sunday school. The teacher kept asking the girl in front of him questions.
"Mary, who created the universe?" He noticed she was asleep, so he took out his pencil and shanked her with it. "OH MY GOD!", She said and fell back asleep.
Later, the teacher asked Mary another question. "Mary, who is our lord and savior?" Little Johnny noticed that Mary had drifted off again, so he poked her again.
She screamed,"Jesus christ!" The teacher moved on in her lesson.
Later, the teacher asked Mary "What Eve said to Adam after they had their 23rd child?" Little Johnny saw her asleep again, so he poked her with the pencil. Hard. She said,"IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF!"
The teacher fainted.
#43 - BluFlynn **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
Teacher: Johnny use the word definetly in a sentence
Johnny: teacher, do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not Johnny
Johnny: Well then I have DEFINETLY **** my pants
#34 - awesomosaurous **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag
She reaches her hand in it and says it's round, it's got a stem, and it's got a leaf.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says it's an apple, it's an apple
Then he says now let me give you one
He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it's round, it's hard , and it's got a head.
The teacher says Ohh Johnny that's gross
Little Johnny says no it's a quater but I like the way you're thinking.
User avatar #15 - Kittyluver (07/22/2010) [+] (2 replies)
to be honest, I was expecting a pedo priest joke at the end...
#3 - xXJkillerXx **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [-]
When Johnny heard loud noises coming from his parent's bedroom, he thought they were fighting, so he ran in, and saw them having sex. Johnny runs away screaming, and his father chases after him. Johnny's dad doesn't find Johnny, but he hears loud noises coming from one of the rooms. The dad walks in and finds Johnny ontop of grandma! Johnny yells, "HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN I'M DOING IT TO YOUR MOM?!"
#1 - xXJkillerXx **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [-]
It was the first day of school, and the teacher wanted the kids to say a word for each letter of the alphabet. When the teacher says "A" Johnny shoots his hand up, but the teacher knows about little Johnny, so she calls on Amy, Amy says apple. Then the teacher says "B", and again, Johnny raises his hand but the teacher calls on Bobby, Bobby says Bananna. They get all the way to R and Johnny shoots his hand up again. The teacher doesn't know a bad word for R, so she calls on him. Johnny says "Rat." and the teacher starts to say very good, but Johhny interrupts, yelling, with his arms spread apart, "YEAH WITH A DICK THIS LONG GOING, HERE KITTY KITTY, HERE KITTY KITTY!"
#79 - Lucytoo **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
I found it. A new post called Old Funny Junk by wakea just went up and it's got the Lil' Johnny Letter to Santa that my friend was telling you about. Thank GOD I can quit looking now, I never did find my copy.
User avatar #57 - skaterboii (07/22/2010) [-]
One day before a college teacher starts his class he says in a smart ass tone is there anyone in here that thinks that they are stupid please stand now... After a few minutes of waiting one young man stands up. The teacher of course says in a smart ass tone now why young man do you consider yourself stupid?! The young man replies I don't consider myself stupid I just hate seeing you stand up there all by yourself!
#39 - vjman (07/22/2010) [-]
hahaha the "milkman"
#31 - Molozonide **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
Hooray! I love these jokes, but hate the gay drawings that people associate with them. Thanks! :)
#22 - Raocow **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [+] (4 replies)
would you help you uncle jack on an elephant?
yes?
would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?
-1
#61 - freedomfromlife **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
#77 to #61 - AlexAndTheBeatles **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
these are the original Little Johnny Jokes
User avatar #56 - skaterboii (07/22/2010) [-]
At the start of the new semester of college the school dean stands up and announces welcome all to a new year of college now let me remind the older students and tell the new students any boys fought in the girls dormitories after hours will pay a $500 dollar fine any time after that $500 more will be added and the same rule applies to the girls so after saying that he asks any questions?! And at that point one boy stands up and asks how much for a year pass?!
User avatar #52 - archangel (07/22/2010) [-]
listen **** the bike i wanna watch lol
#40 - Womens Study Major (07/22/2010) [+] (2 replies)
ALL ARE REPOST BUT THE LAST
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