Dirty jokes 1. Part 2: www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/638797/Dirty+jokes+2/<br /> Part 3: www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/639690/Dirty+jokes+3/. WARNIN

Dirty jokes 1

WARNING: dirty jokes ahead, please don' t continue if you are easily offended
Wife l “I dreamt they were auctioning oft dicks. The big ones went
for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband C "How about the ones like mine?"
wife t "Those they gave away."
Husband l "I had a dream too... I dreamt they were auctioning off
cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little
tight ones went for two thousand."
wife ' "And how much for the ones like mine?"
Husband : "That' s where they held the auction."
This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny,
nudges his wife awake and asks, "why don' t we get it on, eh?" She
replies, "1 have an appointment at the gynaecologist tomorrow and
you know I don' t like to make love the night before." So the
husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to
Mew minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don' t
by any chance have a dentist' s appointment tomorrow, do you?"
Attached was wrapping up class, and started talking about
tomorrow' s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an
immediate family member' s death. one smart ass, male student
said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole
classroom burst into laughter.
After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student
and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger Jumps up
frantically and announces, "If I' m going to die, I want to die feeling
like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this
plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!''.
...
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Views: 12325
Favorited: 77
Submitted: 07/21/2010
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User avatar #9 - Absolut (07/21/2010) [-]
IRON WOMAN

Not a superhero, an order.
User avatar #2 - thetruelonewolf (07/21/2010) [-]
here... iron this xD
User avatar #11 - skaterboii (07/21/2010) [-]
One day before a college teacher starts his class he says in a smart ass tone is there anyone in here that thinks that they are stupid please stand now... After a few minutes of waiting one young man stands up. The teacher of course says in a smart ass tone now why young man do you consider yourself stupid?! The young man replies I don't consider myself stupid I just hate seeing you stand up there all by yourself!
#10 - sharptooth **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [-]
The second joke the husband should have said,"You don't by chance have a proctologist exam tomorrow do you?
#1 - BlackGuyJacknen **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [-]
good job.
User avatar #12 - skaterboii (07/21/2010) [-]
At the start of the new semester of college the school dean stands up and announces welcome all to a new year of college now let me remind the older students and tell the new students any boys fought in the girls dormitories after hours will pay a $500 dollar fine any time after that $500 more will be added and the same rule applies to the girls so after saying that he asks any questions?! And at that point one boy stands up and asks how much for a year pass?!
#18 - BitchDuck **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Haha the last one is ******* great!!
#20 to #18 - BitchDuck **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
Sexist jokes are the best kind of jokes.
Why did the woman cross the road?

The more important question is how the
hell did she get out of the kitchen.
#27 - anonymous (07/27/2010) [-]
the last one is hilarious
User avatar #26 - superninjamonkeyme (07/23/2010) [-]
Heard the last one before, but it described the guy as big and muscular to make people wait longer for the end
User avatar #25 - partyking (07/23/2010) [-]
last one made me chuckle heartly
User avatar #19 - bladeariet (07/22/2010) [+] (3 replies)
holy **** i did that to my teacher once he said almost the same thing
#24 to #22 - WINKWINK **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
"Um the **** "... Huh?
#16 - nolongeranon (07/22/2010) [-]
give credit to elis dirty jokes
User avatar #14 - skaterboii (07/22/2010) [+] (2 replies)
There once was a man from Nantucket, who's dick was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin as he wiped his chin, if my ear were a cunt I would **** it.
User avatar #13 - bakinboy (07/21/2010) [+] (1 reply)
whenever i yawn, i smell chlorine for a few seconds afterward. explain plz?
#15 to #13 - anonymous (07/22/2010) [-]
your mom's a whore...that's why
#8 - anonymous (07/21/2010) [-]
Offended easily? **** that, if you're offended easily the internet is not for you.

"You can use your other hand to write."
Teacher is awesome :D
#6 - awesomeK **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [-]
Teacher win
User avatar #4 - Skadoosh (07/21/2010) [-]
nice
#3 - empehsay (07/21/2010) [-]
lmao thumbs up for u :)
#5 - Blondiexxx **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [-]
I've heard all of these before like a million times. Not funny.
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