WARNING: dirty jokes ahead, please don' t continue if you are easily offended
Wife l “I dreamt they were auctioning oft dicks. The big ones went
for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."
Husband C "How about the ones like mine?"
wife t "Those they gave away."
Husband l "I had a dream too... I dreamt they were auctioning off
cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little
tight ones went for two thousand."
wife ' "And how much for the ones like mine?"
Husband : "That' s where they held the auction."
This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny,
nudges his wife awake and asks, "why don' t we get it on, eh?" She
replies, "1 have an appointment at the gynaecologist tomorrow and
you know I don' t like to make love the night before." So the
husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to
Mew minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don' t
by any chance have a dentist' s appointment tomorrow, do you?"
Attached was wrapping up class, and started talking about
tomorrow' s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an
immediate family member' s death. one smart ass, male student
said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole
classroom burst into laughter.
After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student
and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger Jumps up
frantically and announces, "If I' m going to die, I want to die feeling
like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this
plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!''.