Joke(s) of the Day (20 July). More than just one joke today as i promised.<br /> I didnt make any of these up, i saw them and am posting them here for you le Jeux
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Joke(s) of the Day (20 July)

More than just one joke today as i promised.<br />
I didnt make any of these up, i saw them and am posting them here for your enjoyment.<br />
July 21: www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/638578/Joke+s+of+the+Day+21+July/<br />
July 19 :www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/632213/Joke+of+the+Day+19+July/<br />
July 18: www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/629079/Joke+of+the+Day+18+July/

Tags: le | Jeux
Joke( s) ofthe Day (20 July)
Warning: Some ofthose jokes are really ****** up so if you are easly offended
remember they are JOKES.
A construction worker on the tth floor of a building forgot his handsaw at ground level. He was too
far away for his colleagues to hear him, so he used signals:
He pointed to his eyes, as in "I"
He pointed to his knees, as in "need"
He then moved his hand in a ) r) motion, mimicking the way you would use a
handsaw.
His colleague at the bottom dropped his pants, and off.
Outraged, the worker on the tth floor came down to find out what this was all about.
I ******* asked for a handsaws’?"
I know, I was trying to tell you I was coming"
Whats green and smells like pigs?
Kermit' s finger
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend: "You won' t believe what happened! Iwas taking a
shortcut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to the rails. I untied her, and we had sex ayer
and ayer again, all the positions, everything."
His friend replies: "That' s great! Did you get a ?"
No, I the head."
And my personal favorite:
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a Kitkat Chunky."
The lady behind the till gets him a Kitkat Chunky and brings it backto him.
No," says the man, "I wanted a normal Kitkat, you fat bitch."
...
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #71 - Kancer (07/20/2010) [+] (5 replies)
What do you call the useless part of the vagina?


The woman
#56 - ronnnnie **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [+] (2 replies)
a black guy, a mexican, and a asian guy walk into a bar.

then they all take a taxi home.

drunk driving is no joke.
#134 - Beavernator **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [-]
One day in school Little Johnny's class was learning about etiquette. "What do you say to your date when you have to excuse yourself to go urinate?" asked the teacher.
"I have to go take a piss." one kid said.
"No... you can't use the word 'piss', let's try something else."
"Excuse me, but I gotta go take a leak" another kid said.
"We don't use the word 'leak' either" the teacher said. Eventually the number of hands wittled down, leaving the teacher no choice but to pick Little Johnny's raised arm. "Yes, Little Johnny?"
"Excuse me, my mistress. But I must go shake hands with a friend; whom I think would be delighted to meet you after dinner."
User avatar #57 - IEpicWinGuyI (07/20/2010) [-]
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot sitting on his shoulder.
The bartender said "wow, where did you get that?"

"Africa" replied the parrot.
#68 - TheSammichMan **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [-]
a man is wasted driving home when he gets stopped by the police
he quickly pulls out a piece of paper and writes on it then tapes it to a bottle
the officer ask have you been drinking repsonsibly tonight sir
the man then pulls out the bottle with the piece of paper on it saying responsibly
the man is then arrested beat to death in jail his wife is robbed and murdered and his daughter ends up getting raped and commits suicide
remember kids drunk driving is serious
User avatar #44 - nommas (07/20/2010) [+] (1 reply)
once there was a drunkard bum who found 50 dollars on the ground so he went to the bar and bought him self some whiskey. When he drank he went outside and passed out. After a while a gay guy saw him lying and screwed him in the ass leaving 50 dollars on the ground. When the bum woke up he saw the 50 dollars went to the bar and the bartender says, "what will it be the same?" Then the bum says, "oh no thanks this whiskey made my ass itch"
User avatar #22 - aicss (07/20/2010) [-]
*reads first line* If someone is that easily offended then they are on the wrong website
#143 - hankwareagle **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [+] (2 replies)
little johnny went to a horse auction with his dad, and when his dad found a good looking horse, he would rub his hands on the horses side thighs, butt, and front legs, when he was foing this johnny asked "hey dad why are you rubbing the horse", to which his dad replied,"well im rubbing it to make sure its strong and isnt hurt because i want to buy it." then johnny replied "Then why does the mailman want to buy mom."
User avatar #13 - iRoflcopterU (07/20/2010) [-]
i found a new way to say "im coming." in sign language :D
User avatar #164 - epochpenors (07/21/2010) [-]
A man needs a rake but forgets where it is, so he noncks on the bathroom window where his wife is showering and points to his Eye "I" shakes his head "can't" looks around "find" raking motions "the rake" The wife responds by pointing to her eye, her left boob, her ass, and her pussy. A few minutes later the husband goes up and says "What the hell were you trying to say?" the wife replies "I left it behind the bush!"
If you don't get this say the last part out loud
#87 - KarlMarxx **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [-]
On the contrary...

What's green and smells like pig?

Snookie's favorite pickle
#139 - Platnumbubbakush **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [+] (2 replies)
once there was a drunkard bum who found 50 dollars on the ground so he went to the bar and bought him self some whiskey. When he drank he went outside and passed out. After a while a gay guy saw him lying and screwed him in the ass leaving 50 dollars on the ground. When the bum woke up he saw the 50 dollars went to the bar and the bartender says, "what will it be the same?" Then the bum says, "oh no thanks this whiskey made my ass itch"
#121 - HeyDingo **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [-]
I must say . . as a deaf fat frog who is also dead. I am very offended.
Though I am also dead. Therefore my opinion does not matter. But even if I was alive who the **** would care what a fat deaf frog has to say?
#61 - doitforthelulz **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [+] (1 reply)
a black guy walks into a bar and yells out "Yo, Bartender, where my peeps hanging at?", the bartender procedes to point outside the bar to the tree in the back
#62 to #61 - giveobamaquarters **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [-]
dude.. that's offensive. i have black people in my family tree. and they're still hanging there
#149 - greenmaker **User deleted account** (07/21/2010) [+] (5 replies)
see this is funny junk people. this is what i serch for when im online. this is a total fukin win in my book and i hope it is in yours. i want to see this more and if i do i will donate moneys to FJ
User avatar #93 - RandomFlavs (07/20/2010) [+] (3 replies)
The American president, Chinese ambassador, Canadian prime minister, and an Indian chief are all on a sinking boat. they deside to throw off what they don't need. The President throws off crates of cigarettes and fast food saying "we have plenty of this in our country". The ambassador throws off alot of rice saying "we ha plenty o dis in ow country". the chief throws out some bows, arrows, and snowshoes. Again, he says " we got plenty of this on our home land". And the Prime minister Throws off the indian saying " we got plenty of these in our country".
#77 - ieatwombats **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [-]
lol u fat bitch
User avatar #1 - Ejvind (07/20/2010) [+] (4 replies)
All old jokes, but I thumbed anyway ;D
#6 to #5 - tobisinn (07/20/2010) [-]
you win this round, anons >.>
User avatar #75 - waffalz (07/20/2010) [+] (4 replies)
WOW I WROTA JOKE THEN ACCIDENTLY HIT THE BAK ****** BUTTON AHHHHHHHH

LE FUUUUUUUUUU
User avatar #76 to #75 - waffalz (07/20/2010) [-]
so one day bitsh guy a mexina guy and an american all got together on a bridge and they each agreed on throwing one thing that they hav alot of into the river below
the british went first and sed" we hav alot of tea in our country" so he throws over some tea
then the mexican goes and sed we hav alot of machine guns in our country" so he throws one over
lastly the american goes...
he looks at the mexican and ses " we hav alot of these in our country" and picks him up and throws him over

THE END!!!
#41 - drasticdragon **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [+] (1 reply)
So, a penguin walks into a bar and.... i forget the rest of this joke but, your mother is a whore
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