After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, Iike most men, I found shopping honing and preferred to get in and get
out. Equator unfortunate, my wife is Iike most women - she Io ves to hm wse. Yesterday
my dear wife received the boffo wing Better from the Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We
cannot tolerate this heha vier and have heen forced to Iran hoth of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are Insted and are documented
h y our video surveillance cameras.
f, June ‘IS: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other peopie' s carts
when they weren' t Booking.
2. duty 2: Set the alarm chocks in House wares to go off at intervals.
a auty " He made a trail of tomato juice on the froor Reading to the women' s restroom.
4.. , Wacked up to an employee and toad her in an voice, 'code in
House wares. Get on it right away‘. This caused the employee to Iea her assigned
station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union
crie vance, causing management to Isse time and costing the company money.
S. A agust w Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a hag of MS Ms on Ia ya y.
all agust Moved a IRTISH - WET . OOH" sign to a carpeted area.
FM agust ‘IS: Set up a tent in the camping department and toad the children shoppers
he' d in vite them in if they wouid tiring and blankets from the heading department
to which twenty children ohmigod.
Jita agust fits, When a caer. k asked if they courd heap him he hagan crying and streamed,
y can' t you peopie Just Iea me atoned" EM Ts were caried.
9. September w Looked right into the security camera and used it as a minor whice he
picked his nose.
White handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the caer; k
where the antidepressants were.
f f. October 3: Carted around the store suspiciously whice Ioudby humming the 'Mission
October S: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna Iook' h y using deferent
sizes of hanners.
ft October Hid in a clothing rack and when peopie hm ssed through, vetted Tshit"
MEI PICK MEI .
fat, October 21: When an announcement came over the Igud speaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed 'OH HO.’ IT' S THOSE VOICES AG}! IHI'
And East, hut certainly not leash
IS. October fits, Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then vetted very
Houden 'Heyi There' s no toilet paper in here. . One of the caer. ks passed out