really long read but worth it. you laughed. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, Iike most men, I found really Long read but worth it
Click to expand

really long read but worth it

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, Iike most men, I found shopping honing and preferred to get in and get
out. Equator unfortunate, my wife is Iike most women - she Io ves to hm wse. Yesterday
my dear wife received the boffo wing Better from the Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We
cannot tolerate this heha vier and have heen forced to Iran hoth of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are Insted and are documented
h y our video surveillance cameras.
f, June ‘IS: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other peopie' s carts
when they weren' t Booking.
2. duty 2: Set the alarm chocks in House wares to go off at intervals.
a auty " He made a trail of tomato juice on the froor Reading to the women' s restroom.
4.. , Wacked up to an employee and toad her in an voice, 'code in
House wares. Get on it right away‘. This caused the employee to Iea her assigned
station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union
crie vance, causing management to Isse time and costing the company money.
S. A agust w Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a hag of MS Ms on Ia ya y.
all agust Moved a IRTISH - WET . OOH" sign to a carpeted area.
FM agust ‘IS: Set up a tent in the camping department and toad the children shoppers
he' d in vite them in if they wouid tiring and blankets from the heading department
to which twenty children ohmigod.
Jita agust fits, When a caer. k asked if they courd heap him he hagan crying and streamed,
y can' t you peopie Just Iea me atoned" EM Ts were caried.
9. September w Looked right into the security camera and used it as a minor whice he
picked his nose.
White handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the caer; k
where the antidepressants were.
f f. October 3: Carted around the store suspiciously whice Ioudby humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.
October S: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna Iook' h y using deferent
sizes of hanners.
ft October Hid in a clothing rack and when peopie hm ssed through, vetted ***** "
fat, October 21: When an announcement came over the Igud speaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed 'OH HO.’ IT' S THOSE VOICES AG}! IHI'
And East, hut certainly not leash
IS. October fits, Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then vetted very
Houden 'Heyi There' s no toilet paper in here. . One of the caer. ks passed out
  • Recommend tagsx
Views: 15176
Favorited: 2
Submitted: 07/19/2010
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to LazyBacon submit to reddit


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#106 - MustacheKid **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [+] (1 reply)
why yes i did laugh... when i read this the first time i saw like 3 years ago
User avatar #11 - velociraptorjesus (07/19/2010) [+] (1 reply)
my god, ive seen this atleast 10 times on fj THIS YEAR
#148 - lilraylikdam (07/20/2010) [-]
whoa... target has a hunting department?
#111 - Bushi **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [-]
This is so ******* old.
#13 - apokalyptik **User deleted account** (07/19/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Reghost, but no longer scary.
#78 - xXSniperXx **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#143 - lolwincest **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [+] (2 replies)
yea this is a repost of an old kmart letter i've seen this like 6 times before
#134 - RammsteinISawsome **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [+] (4 replies)
whats the EMT
#142 to #134 - thuntking **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#86 - menontoasty **User deleted account** (07/20/2010) [+] (2 replies)
**menontoasty rolls 891,349,183** dubs and its a retoast of a retoast of a just added the old man part at the top, congrats
#90 to #87 - TBTVampire (07/20/2010) [-]
God I hate these.
#68 - DrZoidberger **User deleted account** (07/19/2010) [-]
holy crap funniest thing I've seen all day
#58 - eatmydump **User deleted account** (07/19/2010) [-]
this is a repost from a kmart letter to a couple whichwas retoasted so many times its burnt
User avatar #92 - yojo ONLINE (07/20/2010) [+] (4 replies)
*writes tally #27 on the wall* well, that's 27 times in the past 2 years that this has been reposted.
User avatar #83 - InJessicaWeTrust (07/19/2010) [+] (1 reply)
who would go to Target twice a week?
#82 - pizzabob (07/19/2010) [-]
pretty sure that target doesn't have a gun department or an auto department

maybe you mean walmart
User avatar #47 - adrummerboy (07/19/2010) [-]
Such a repost its not even funny.
#20 - Gralla **User deleted account** (07/19/2010) [-]
It was originally a letter from the management of K-Mart telling a family that they were banned from the store for all those same exact reasons, some idiot just decided to switch the store name and call it his own.
User avatar #149 - MythBuster (07/20/2010) [-]
who else had their head in the most ****** up position u can think of after reading this?
#98 - Emkeyramsfan (07/20/2010) [+] (3 replies)
**Emkeyramsfan rolls 582,213,024** Dubs and I do every one of these
#2 - BattKattColourBlak **User deleted account** (07/19/2010) [+] (2 replies)
OMFG ROLFLMFAO this is bloody brilliant!!! Thumbs and Faves!!!
#1 - liddolindaa **User deleted account** (07/19/2010) [-]
i love itt haanks for tellin me to loook at it
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)