epic. worth the read. tags. Anger Management When you occasionally have had a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don' t take it out on You Have very large Penis anger management
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

epic. worth the read


Anger Management
When you occasionally have had a really bad day, and you just need to
take it out on someone, don' t take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don' t Know, But who really deserves In
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone can I' d forgotten to
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out In my ear: 'Get the right P" Ing
numbero', and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn' t Believe that anyone could be SO rude.
When I tracked down Robyn' s correct number to can her, I found that!
had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy aswered the phone, I yelled ‘You' re an assholey‘,
and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to It, and put It In
my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when [was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I' d call him up and yell,
You' re an asshole!‘
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'masshole'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company.
I' m calling to see it you' re familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
He yelled 'Nol' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That' s because you' re an
assholey‘, and hung up.
one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy In a black BMW cut me off, and pulled Into the spot I had
patiently waited tor.
I hit the horn and yelled that I' d been waiting tor that spot, but the Idiot
ignored me.
I noticed a 'For Bale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), tthought that I' d better call the BMW asshole,
I said, " this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
He said, Yes, ills.‘
Athen asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?‘
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It' s a yellow ranch style house and the car' s parked right out in Front'
I asked, 'What' s your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'
I asked, 'When' s a good time to catch you, Don?'
He said, Tm home every evening after mre.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can Hell you something?'
I said, 'Don, you' re an asshole!‘
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea...
I called asshole #1.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, ‘You' re an asshole!' (but I didn' t hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, ‘Yeah?
He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'
I said, ‘Make me,'
He asked, 'Who are you'?'
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?‘
I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, In Fairfax, it' s yellow ranch
style home and, I have a black Beemer parked In front.'
He said, Tm coming over right now, Don. And you had Better start
saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I' m really seared, asshole,' and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, ‘Hello?
I said, 'Hello, asshole.‘
He yelled, 'ltl ever find out who you are...‘
I said, ‘You' ll what?'
He exclaimed, Til kick your ass,'
I answered, 'Well, asshole, here' s your chance. I' m coming over right
Then I hung up and immediately called the Police, saying that I lived at
34 Oratree Blvd in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.
Then I called channel 7 News about the gay war going down on
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
I got there lust in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
each other in front six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter, and
surrounded by a news crew.
Now, I feel MUCH better!
Anger management really does work!
  • Recommend tagsx



Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #33 - mrcrowley (07/09/2010) [-]
reghost but still spoky :D
User avatar #123 - YourAnalProbe (07/09/2010) [+] (4 replies)
Retoast but... STILL DAMN CRUNCHY!!!
#31 - omgtoast **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
im going to beat my gay lover to death.

priceless, hhahaha
User avatar #17 - royalblue (07/09/2010) [-]
totally deserved to be reposted
User avatar #11 - CommanderInKief (07/09/2010) [-]
so much win...xD
User avatar #8 - SlikToxic (07/09/2010) [-]
#10 - imapyrit **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
#9 - shmexy (07/09/2010) [-]
wow. just wow
#229 - IceDog **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
i'd do that. except i would win instantly cuz im A ******* ICE DOG
#6 - spookycookie **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
dude ******* epic
#4 - JohnnyBlair **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
Words cannot describe how epic this is.
User avatar #3 - ShootingStarSniper (07/08/2010) [+] (1 reply)
this is so awesome.
#165 - markv (07/09/2010) [+] (5 replies)
ok wtf is up with all the repostes latly?
User avatar #160 - butterface (07/09/2010) [-]
#154 - santahatman **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
this is one of the best things on fj that isnt a meme
#91 - pedosoraptor **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
i...i cant find the chamelion button...
#18 - LateNite **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
#16 - SmashDot **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [+] (1 reply)
******* GENIOUS!!!
#15 - Tuffgal **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
worth the read
#7 - prodoman **User deleted account** (07/09/2010) [-]
epic post is epic
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)