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Blonde Jokes 3

1. A blonde, brunette, and red head sit on a
bench together and talk about their daughters.
The red head says shea cigarette butt in her
garbage and said, "l cant believe she smoke's.".
The brunette says, "That' s nothing... I found a
used pregnancy test in her garbage...} cant
believe she' s sexually actived.".
And the blonde exclaims she has it the worst.
That' s nothing, I found a condom in my
daughters garbage...} cant believe she' s got
a DICK!“
All credit for this goes to Enfilades)
2. A blonde, brunette, and a red head are about
to get forced to jump off a cliff. A genie appears
and says "Whatever you say while falling, you
will turn into. The brunette goes first, and, while
falling, says "A plane". She then flies off.
The red head then goes, and says "A hotmail
balloon.", and she floats away.
Next, the blonde goes. She trips on a rock and
says ". l." She is then turned into a
steaming hot pile of crap.
Credit for this one goes to )
3. A brunette and a blonde are sitting on a train.
The brunette looks out the window.
Oh what a beautiful forest"
The blonde looks out the window
Damn it, I cant see it, all those trees are
blocking my viewd."
Credit on this one goes too Krystoking)
4. A blonde, brunette, and a red head were all in
a car and got stuck somewhere in the desert.
Each woman takes one thing. The red head
takes a canteen of water. The brunette takes
an umbrella to block the sun. They both look
over to see the blonde pulling at the car door.
When they ask what she' s doing, she replies,
l want to take the car door so if it gets hot, I
can just roll down the window."
Credit on this goes to matman)
5. A blonde is looking for a job to make some
money. She went up to her neighbor and asked,
Do you have any jobs I could do?"
The man thinks for a second then replies,
Well you could paint my porch... I' been
meaning to , but haven' t gotten around to it yet"
She replies, "Okay, do you have the paint and a
brush?"
The man goes inside to fetch the paint, and
returns a couple minutes later.
He goes inside to eat with his wife, and she says,
Do you think she knows the porch goes all
around?"
The man says, "She should, she was just
standing on it."
Later, the doorbell rings, and the man answers.
The blonde says, "l finished quickly, and there
was a lot of paint left, so I put on a second
coat." The man is compressed.
While the blonde leaves, she turns around and
says, "Oh by the way, that wasn' t a porch,
it was a Ferrari.
...
+241
Views: 17021
Favorited: 1
Submitted: 06/14/2010
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Comments(86):

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User avatar #2 - USA (06/14/2010) [+] (4 replies)
why did the blonde tip toe past the Medicine cabnit?

she didnt want to wake the sleeping pills

LOLOL

User avatar #28 - asa (06/15/2010) [+] (2 replies)
How are blonds like turtles?

Once they're on their backs they're ****** .
#59 - SgtDumbass **User deleted account** (06/15/2010) [+] (1 reply)
A pretty blonde walks into a bar and asks the handsome fellow at the bar what he's drinking.
He says, "Magic beer. You want one?"
"Aw, that's stupid. There's no such thing" she says.
"Look, I'll show you". He takes a big swig and proceeds to throw himself out of a nearby window, where he proceeds to fly up and around the building, and back into bar window.
"That's incredible! I don't believe it!" she says.
"Hey barkeep, throw me another one o' them Magic Beers". The bartender shakes his head and pours another beer and slides it down the bar. The man chugs about half of it and proceeds to leap out the window and circle the building again.
rest of joke below
User avatar #19 - Mandalomax (06/15/2010) [+] (1 reply)
A blonde is walking through town one day and sees a televsion in a shop window, she enters the store and says the owner "I would like to buy the TV in the window please", which he responded with "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes". She left the store in anger and dyed her hair, she entered the store and asked again, but once again she got the response "Sorry, I told you we don't sell to blondes". At this point she was furious at him, so she left and got plastic surgery. She came back and said "Hello, I would like to bye the TV in the window please", once again she got the response "I've already told you we dont sell to blondes!", she replied " How did you know it was me?", then he said "Its a microwave"
#45 - MrBananaShit **User deleted account** (06/15/2010) [+] (1 reply)
No! The credit does not go to all those people. They arent getting the ******* thumbs are they?
+6
#13 - OmegleBagel **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (6 replies)
User avatar #7 - MitchellK (06/14/2010) [-]
Did you hear about the two blondes that froze to death seeing a movie at a drive in called "Closed for Winter"?
+4
#65 - PharaohsDaughter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#54 - johnaldinho **User deleted account** (06/15/2010) [-]
a blonde, a brunette and a red head are about to go up to the firing squad, the brunette has an idea "HURRICANE" all of the firing squad runs away, the brunette escapes, the redhead figures this out and shouts "TIDAL WAVE" again she escapes then finally the blonde figures this out and shouts "FIRE"
#43 - foregip (06/15/2010) [-]
A blonde is driving down the highway and sees a truck, she drives up and says "hi Im carol and youre dropping your load" the truck drives away, so she does it again exept this time the truck driver says "hi im doug, and im the salt truck driver."
#35 - goofyboyy **User deleted account** (06/15/2010) [-]
THIS ONES LONG JUST BEAR WITH ME. so theres a blonde in the middle of a field in a boat. another blonde drives up pulles over and yells to the other blonde "its blondes like you that give us a bad name". then the blond in the boat yells "come do something then" the other blonde yells "if i could swim i would"........ get it
#12 - RoboPanda **User deleted account** (06/14/2010) [+] (2 replies)
Theres a magic mirror on the wall and if you tell it a lie it sucks you in. So a brunette walks up to it and says "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world" and it sucks her in. A red-head walks up to it and says "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world" and it sucks her in. A blond walks up to it and says "I think..." and it sucks her in.
User avatar #14 to #12 - Pedosnake (06/14/2010) [-]
Already Done
#10 - isbird (06/14/2010) [-]
Smart Blondes are like bigfoot, you hear about sighting all the time, but no one is really sure if they exist.
#29 - myusernamerocks **User deleted account** (06/15/2010) [-]
Then you should do about Norwegians! :D
User avatar #27 - SURFRENZY (06/15/2010) [-]
a man is standing near train tracks saying 22 22 22 22 over and over a blonde women walks up to him and ask what hes doing then suddenly he takes a step forward so she takes a step back he takes a step back and she takes one forward this continues for awhile till a train comes and runs over the blonde the man just sits there and says 23 23 23
#22 - BatmanRex **User deleted account** (06/15/2010) [-]
Blonde walks into a hairdressers wearing headphones wanting a haircut, she askes the hairdresser if she could cut her hair with her headphones on. The hairdresser agrees. So she sits the Blonde down and starts cutting, when it comes time to cut around the headphones. She takes them off, and then the phone rings. On the phone is a regular and the hairdressers gets carried away talking. She comes back to the Blonde whos dead... She pickes up the headphones and listens to whats playing... "Breath in, Breath out"
User avatar #11 - TheACEofSpades (06/14/2010) [-]
God damnet you spelt my name wrong! D: Haha at least I'm first though :D
#8 - chickencropster (06/14/2010) [+] (1 reply)
i have one for you, but its kind of long. you can use it if you want.

3 women, a redhead, a brunette and a blonde are on top of a burning building. Down on the ground there is a group of firemen with a safety net. They yell to the redhead, "jump, jump, we'll catch you!" so the redhead jumps, but the firemen quickly move the net out of the way and the redhead hits the ground and dies. Then the firemen yell to the brunette, "jump, jump, we'll catch you!" but the brunette says, "no, you guys will just move the net out of the way again!"
the firemen say, "no we just don't like redheads, we love brunettes" so the brunette jumps, but yet again the firemen move the net out of the way and the brunette dies. (look at next comment for end of joke)
User avatar #33 - squeaky (06/15/2010) [+] (2 replies)
Okay, I cannot ******* read the first one...
User avatar #30 - Z A H A (06/15/2010) [-]
the first one i heard like 5 years ago.. haha
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