A Funnyjunker's guide to trolls. I finally gave in to the comic trend, sorry for the horrid photoshopping.<br /> EDIT: there's been a lot of complaining a luidias presents FUNNYJUNK Guide trolls croquet mallet
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A Funnyjunker's guide to trolls

I finally gave in to the comic trend, sorry for the horrid photoshopping.<br />
EDIT: there's been a lot of complaining about my connotations. I'm not saying metal is bad. much to the contrary. what I was aiming for when I said metal was the kind of screamo-death-noise-metal that only emos listen to.

Luidias Presents:
uprear' s Tcare to Jio//,,
Presented in the style of Zero P» ********* ‘ s Yahtzee Croshaw
While surfing the infnite universe that is the internet, you will encounter all kinds of fellow users. You
may hnd learners, Lakers, noobs, newfags, camwhores, you may even encounter some reasonable
people who are here to contribute something useful. But you will nearly ALWAYS encounter evil
beings known as...
So what IS a troll? How did they come to be?
Well, somewhere in a home, a
mildly autistic teen never managed to develop
social skills or a sense above that ofa
prepubescent boy. o.
In frustration and anguish over his life
being a complete failure and total waste of
time, rejoined up on the internet with his
equals in a very special teenage rebellion
exclusively for the world' s :
Downloading South Park episodes, being
morbidly obese, listening to metal and,
finally, trolling to feel some sense of
superiority over the normal world.
Thus, he became a troll.
1 2731/
ifthey pretend to be someone important...
mistral's
ifthey Mod you with hate remarks about the site...
l room; so 7. 4 may l
ifthey make a point of letting everyone know they are a girl
by posting useless content...
room sou may 1
If they spit acid or eat puppies for breakfast...
alto,
YOU}? 60791 moat
generally, anyone who either has an obviously hateful or impersonating
name, or someone who ads too stupid to be believable can be as
a troll. They will hate you and anger you beyond all levels of rage, and make
you want to destroy their genitals with a croquet mallet.
So what the crap are you supposed to do when you encounter a troll?
Well, the very FIRST rule is
DON' T FEED THE TROLL!
The more you feed the troll, the fatter it gets and the more successful it is,
There are several correct procedures to folow when faced with a troll:
you could: ,
1) Thumb them down,
2) then ignore them for the rest of
forever
Talk to the hand
was me no new s. -
you could:
1) call them out as a troll and tell everyone to STFU
2) watch to make sure everyone obeys
AND you could:
1) hack the site, discover their adress,
2) look up the adress to discover where they live,
3) hnd their house,
4) and then destroy their genitalia with a croquet mallet.
too
In summary, trolls are evil, disgusting creatures, born from the deepest reaches of
itself. And if you have ever been a troll or taken part in trolling, you are a bad person and
should be punished for it.
I' m gonna troll khan now. later guise.
...
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Comments(141):

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#121 - SexyRockerBabe **User deleted account** (06/03/2010) [+] (2 replies)
exception - if ur trolling 4 chan its okay :)
User avatar #130 - ThatBoy (06/03/2010) [+] (5 replies)
metal does suck, but it's just my opinion.
User avatar #129 - SaintDemon (06/03/2010) [-]
Uhhhh... Anyone know of a good place to dispose of half eaten dogs and spit-up acid?????
User avatar #127 - TheCrowbar (06/03/2010) [-]
dood zero puncuation is like the awesomest game reviwer i have found
i read this in his voice and his speed! XD
User avatar #115 - superfunnybeaner (06/03/2010) [-]
did anybody read this quickly and in Yahtzee's voice?
User avatar #99 - Cid (06/03/2010) [+] (10 replies)
Actually a 'troll' who spams FJ with pro-4Chan messages is a soldier of 4Chan, not a troll.

Why can't we share some bacon sammiches and some funny content and be friends?

We all like funny pictures and sexy ones, so what's wrong with being bros?
User avatar #135 - Kwiksandkiller (06/03/2010) [-]
technically you're not even making a comic, it's more of an illustrated guide
User avatar #134 - Zedonius (06/03/2010) [-]
But...puppies are delicious...and if they're as obese as you say, then why would you go after their nads? They probably haven't seen them in years, and may even be on the verge of doubting their existence. If you want to hurt the troll, destroy any and all technology in his house...that's where his heart is...
User avatar #128 - bubbaacdc (06/03/2010) [-]
trolls suck ass but dont they kind of help traffic? if theres 50000 trolls comeing to troll us doesn't that pay to get us new things?
#118 - anonymous (06/03/2010) [+] (1 reply)
**** YEA FOR ZERO PUNCUATION!!!!!!! i read that in yahtzees voice
+3
#123 to #118 - Rawker **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#113 - KINGOFTHESTARS **User deleted account** (06/03/2010) [-]
theres a troll... ist a kid named judsty or justefy or sum **** but he has a big chinned pikachu as an avatar
he is an ass who act like an 8 yr old who swears hes the owner of fj... yuck
User avatar #103 - dudemiesterman (06/03/2010) [+] (2 replies)
dude, good job man. my friend was asking how to define a troll earlier (he's retarded) and i couldnt really explain, thank you. btw not even a comic so you 100% win
#94 - DrCandlejack **User deleted account** (06/03/2010) [+] (2 replies)
Epic punchline.
Thumb this up, doctor's orders.
:)
#92 - mmmmmcake **User deleted account** (06/03/2010) [-]
the end was awesome :)
User avatar #86 - freshblob (06/03/2010) [+] (4 replies)
Whats wrong with watching south park and listening to metal?

Also, just ignore the damn thing and it will go away.
#8 - infuser (06/03/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Better than everything on the front page, funnyjunk users i am disspaoint thumbs this up.
User avatar #106 - sgtpaint (06/03/2010) [+] (2 replies)
dude yahzee is my hero
"its like a fatman with a futball rattle and a haloween mask running
through your house and screeming, and its interesting for the first few laps, but then he tears down your curtainf and ***** on a doyley."
#64 - thebombzor **User deleted account** (06/03/2010) [-]
If trolls eat puppys then are all chinese people trolls
#23 - MarauderMatt **User deleted account** (06/03/2010) [-]
Am i the only one who read the whole thing in Yahtzee's voice?
User avatar #20 - TemplarKyng (06/03/2010) [-]
If instead of blood, you find a deadly corrosive acid...

YOU'VE GOT A GAY!!!
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