Gamerscore over 9000!. . Did "Ali sh nut name. Finished ' U" Blails" BEIGE. Hated lumen’ than 1" Etma' -.%. Super secret secret time okey? >Be 21 >Always jerking it without lube (at least once a day, if not more.) >Dating this chick 7/10. Do love. >"L fuck tags
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User avatar #13 - moviefuckthewhat (09/27/2013) [+] (27 replies)
Super secret secret time okey?

>Be 21
>Always jerking it without lube (at least once a day, if not more.)
>Dating this chick 7/10. Do love.
>"Lets make love mftw"
>Definitely not her first time
>Totally my first time
>I just need to last long enough to satisfy her.
>Please don't let me be a pre-cummer.
>Ram her for like an hour and a half- two hours with a water break.
>Referred to as a sex god for the rest of the school year.
>Looked it up. I was so used to the feeling of dry hand jerking that it took a while to get used to anything else.

That's the story of how I found jesus.
#3 - shrapnels (09/26/2013) [+] (6 replies)
Jokes on you, would never even get past the first achievement
#22 - imashitbricks (09/27/2013) [+] (17 replies)
I'm pretty bored so I guess I'll tell you a little tale. I'm 17 I've never had a girlfriend, haven't had my first kiss, still a virgin. Don't get my wrong I'm only 17 I know I shouldn't be frettin. But when I was 14 (freshman year) my mom convinced me to do online school (my parents are divorced and my mom moved a whole state away and this was her way of getting me to see her more. Wish I would've realized that) she tells me I'll graduate early all that kinda **** . So because I don't go to regular highschool anymore I end up not talking to or seeing most of my friends anymore (except about 3 of them). I also don't interact with girls anymore (except that one friend. I feel like I'm turning into such a beta). But while I was in school I was that funny fat kid that everyone knew but didn't really know (I'm going to assume girls didn't find me attractive because I was so fat.), once I did online school though I ended up on my ass even more than ever. Eventually I decided to get off my ass and start going to the gym. Right now I'm benching near 200 and I'm still climbing (people said being fat beforehand helped me out). And now that I'm nearing my 18th birthday I'm 100% sure I'm joining the Marines. Needless to say everybody says that I'm going to die. Which is why I felt like typing this, everybody is basically saying I'm going to die a virgin. 0 Gamerscore.
Pic related, It's what made me want to go to the gym (I couldn't tell you why)
#54 - unbelievable (09/27/2013) [+] (3 replies)
What ex-girlfriend? What girlfriend? Two whole minutes?
What ex-girlfriend? What girlfriend? Two whole minutes?
#35 - mintyfreshmenthol (09/27/2013) [+] (4 replies)
oh god ******* most awkward bed time ever

>gfs name is Lauren and my ex is Erin both sound similar k?
>after cuddlefux ready to pass out
>"goodnight love you Erin"
>my eyes pop wide open i know whats coming
>"did you just call me Erin?"
>"omg im so sorry !! tried to explain that the names were similar
>the couch was cold that night
User avatar #45 to #35 - nimba (09/27/2013) [-]
call all your girlfriends the same pet name
never have to remember their names
User avatar #1 - Mumford (09/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Can't wait to see this episode of achievement hunter
User avatar #102 - OoJesusoO (09/27/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Crying is a usual thing? :o
User avatar #18 - Iseewhatudidthar (09/27/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Why would you cry?
#28 to #18 - imashitbricks (09/27/2013) [-]
You sober up and realize what you're ******* .
User avatar #51 - ldial (09/27/2013) [+] (15 replies)
Am i the only one on Xbox Live that gives zero ***** about achievements?
#42 - notafunnyguy ONLINE (09/27/2013) [+] (6 replies)
am i the only one who has the exact opposite problem of finishing too quick?

i tend to take too long. to the point i am phsyically exhausted before finishing. sometimes i even go soft just because i take too long and dont finish at all
User avatar #15 - secretdestroyers (09/27/2013) [-]
More like "Didn't shout your sister's name."
User avatar #100 - krodellicious (09/27/2013) [-]
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There have been a lot of these achievement unlocked things lately

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#7 - include (09/27/2013) [-]
tfw no gf.
#6 - xjester ONLINE (09/27/2013) [+] (4 replies)
uhh, why do some people cry when they have sex?
User avatar #96 - timmywankenobi (09/27/2013) [-]
Fun Fact: USA has the highest rate of erectile dysfunction in the world followed by Isreal.
#95 - micekill (09/27/2013) [-]
lel, five minutes lower race, behold me, 45-60 minutes forever alone man
can't enjoy sex dammit, take too much time
#88 - mudkipftw (09/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #82 - bakinboy (09/27/2013) [-]
acheivement unlocked: **** her so hard she goes right to sleep
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