Gamerscore over 9000!. . Did "Ali sh nut name. Finished ' U" Blails" BEIGE. Hated lumen’ than 1" Etma' -.%. Super secret secret time okey? >Be 21 >Always jerking it without lube (at least once a day, if not more.) >Dating this chick 7/10. Do love. >"L fuck tags
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[ 118 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #13 - moviefuckthewhat
Reply +119 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Super secret secret time okey?

>Be 21
>Always jerking it without lube (at least once a day, if not more.)
>Dating this chick 7/10. Do love.
>"Lets make love mftw"
>Definitely not her first time
>Totally my first time
>I just need to last long enough to satisfy her.
>Please don't let me be a pre-cummer.
>Ram her for like an hour and a half- two hours with a water break.
>Referred to as a sex god for the rest of the school year.
>Looked it up. I was so used to the feeling of dry hand jerking that it took a while to get used to anything else.

That's the story of how I found jesus.
User avatar #14 to #13 - mrfumbles
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
i am just hoping that what you said actually happened. and lulz
User avatar #16 to #14 - moviefuckthewhat
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
It did.
Although from what I hear some other guys got too excited and exploded in the first few seconds and others lasted 20 minutes before cumming.

Also I think the fact that I rubbed one out before the date helped.
#17 to #16 - blackandblueshirts
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Yeah, got so used to going dry now that I blow like instantly with lube.



Should probably work on that
User avatar #21 to #17 - moviefuckthewhat
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
It also has to do with the fact that your hands know right where to touch while a pussy does not. Although pussy is way more fun.
User avatar #31 to #13 - cyborgturtle
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Got something to look forward to then. Yess
User avatar #75 to #13 - mexx
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Thank god i'm not the only one.
My first time lasted 45 minutes and after that i thought '**** it, this will take forever' and i went to sleep. Worst sex ever.
#77 to #13 - nunuman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
The cardio! Or maybe just just not humping hard enough. 2hours of sex should be equal to running (fast) for 2hours.
User avatar #81 to #13 - apillow
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
********! Thank you! I thought i was the only one.
User avatar #85 to #13 - torexofthenight
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
I know your pain...longest I've lasted was 3 hours. Me and my girl switch up positions and techniques a lot to keep it entertaining though.
User avatar #87 to #13 - BluFlynn
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
is it bad to dry fap? Because I can't use lube, gets all cold and ****
User avatar #103 to #87 - moviefuckthewhat
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
No. But if you do it to vigorously it can cause nerve damage, making your dingdangdoodly number.
User avatar #109 to #13 - mopeye
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Well then I'm ******... I've never jerked off with lube. Does this mean I'll never be able to get off with actual girl?
User avatar #115 to #109 - moviefuckthewhat
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
No, no, no. That was just my first time. My second time I lasted about an hour. It now takes me 15-30 minutes everytime, which she likes a lot better then the two hours.
User avatar #33 to #13 - sirfistalot
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
I m fapping always dry and I....www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGYsvR1PTmc
always god damn it...
#38 to #13 - jasir
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Same here, takes me long time to come. Though after an hour or so the girl usually gets dry so it isn't really enjoyable for her, so I stop, many times haven't cum at all after few hours of trying, so I kind of understand woman outlook at sex, especially orgasm.
#41 to #38 - anon id: 3b698763
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
It's called Deathgrip, if you want to cure it take a look at this site :

curedeathgrip.com/
#53 to #13 - wardylocks
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
im turned on right now and idk why
im turned on right now and idk why
#71 to #13 - joshlol
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
>with a water break
User avatar #101 to #13 - levelninetynine
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
I dry fap but then again I'm not circumcised.
User avatar #113 to #13 - unikornking
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Yea I've noticed this I can do it just fine dry but if im in the shower or im wet at all i fap forever and i just get tired and give up
#37 to #13 - anocheeanochee
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Dude almost the exact same thing happened to me   
   
Except I just met the girl at some bar, and we went back to hers with a few friends, they all went to bed and one thing led to another I just went at it for almost 2 hours   
   
Never did finish, or see her again (I left the country soon after)   
Nice to see it wasn't only me
Dude almost the exact same thing happened to me

Except I just met the girl at some bar, and we went back to hers with a few friends, they all went to bed and one thing led to another I just went at it for almost 2 hours

Never did finish, or see her again (I left the country soon after)
Nice to see it wasn't only me
User avatar #86 to #37 - realiwill
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Basically the same happened to me, except I was sober and so was the girl and we were just like "da ****?"
#89 to #86 - anocheeanochee
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
The best part about mine though?   
   
She was 23 and I was 18 (as of 3 days prior to meeting her)   
   
HFW I told her how old I was   
   
Gratz on the sober stuff though, must be nice
The best part about mine though?

She was 23 and I was 18 (as of 3 days prior to meeting her)

HFW I told her how old I was

Gratz on the sober stuff though, must be nice
#90 to #89 - realiwill
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Thanks dood. For me, she was this really cute 16 asian chick and I was 18 and we quit because she was really sore and couldn't take it any longer. All in all, I didnt think it was that great. We did like 6 positions and the whole dry-hand jerking off a few times a week ****** me over for pleasure but she enjoyed.
MFW
User avatar #93 to #90 - anocheeanochee
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Hahhaha holy **** did thats exactly why we stopped too

This is some top kek stuff dude

That was MFW as well after feeling like a champ
User avatar #91 to #90 - realiwill
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
16 year old*
oops
User avatar #49 to #13 - iwasonaboat
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
So basically.
You can go for as long as you want, meaning you can please the vast majority of women.
All because you stayed a virgin for longer-than-average time.

This leads credance to the theory that if you stay a virgin till 30, you become a wizard. Look at the powers you got by hanging on till 21.
#3 - shrapnels
Reply +59 123456789123345869
(09/26/2013) [-]
Jokes on you, would never even get past the first achievement
#4 to #3 - imnotnew [OP]
Reply -4 123456789123345869
(09/26/2013) [-]
i stay screaming your moms name
#5 to #3 - adu
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Sucks when you're just not sure if you can love anyone as much as your first.
User avatar #9 to #5 - tastycrisps
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
hey don't worry man it gets better. I just got over a break up, and I mean just got over a breakup that happened over a year ago. Everyone says that time heals all wounds but I never understood that. It didn't feel like I'd ever be happy or love someone else, ever. But over the past month I just, felt better. Nothing significant happened to give me some sort of apifany I just got over it. I stopped thinking about that first love all the time. And when i did, i didn't feel hopeless or sad or lonely. I felt free for the fist time since the breakup.

Imma describe this with an analogy: Experiencing a breakup from a loved one is like someone attaching a ball and chain to your feet. For months it drags you down, it cripples you. You try to live your life normally and forget it's there, but you can't. Every day, one way or another, you're reminded of it's presence. You get used to the initial shock of the ball and chain, and maybe even think that one day you'll forget it's there, but you don't. As you drag the weight along you notice that the chain develops some wear and tear, but you couldn't possibly believe that a chain that huge could break. But, almost suddenly, the chain does breaks. You're incredibly relieved, but you have forgotten what is was like to live without the ball and chain. Of course you are thrilled of it's disappearance, but are unsure how to live like you did before the ball.

Your life changes constantly, and forever is a long time. No matter how much it feels like it, you will change and so will your emotions. It does get better, it really do.
User avatar #10 to #9 - adu
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
That's good advice. It's been two months since it happened, but it was on good terms, and she's never stopped being my best friend. She's the only girl I've ever heard of with the courage to help hold together a trainwreck she caused. She's special like that. I was absolutely debilitated for the first month. I didn't want to kill myself or anything, I'm not that niave, but it just... hurt to be alive. Things didn't get a whole lot better 5 or 6 weeks after, but things have been picking up recently as we've learned to laugh and talk as platonic friends. I'm getting better and better at loving myself for who I am, forgiving myself of my failures, realizing I have a future even if she might not be in it. Thanks to her though, I know for a fact that I have what it takes to make a girl happy, truly happy, and with that in mind I'll be more confident and better equipped for the next sweet girl that wriggles her way into my heart. And hopefully I'll be the kind of man that can give her the joy she deserves.
User avatar #64 to #10 - Mumford
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Tell you one thing it gets easier after the first love. Like a lot easier. The first girl I loved I thought she was it. We ****** up well mostly she ****** up but I didnt handle things well. After that I just had fun for a good 6 months till I met another girl. We broke up over a year ago and although sometimes I look back on those times with a sad smile on my face, my god, I have enjoyed that last year. I've done so much and look back on myself with embarrased pride.

I guess what i'm really trying to say is that it gets a lot easier after the first love
#48 to #5 - CXJokerXD
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Don't you dare give me that thought.
Don't you dare give me that thought.
#22 - imashitbricks
Reply +37 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
I'm pretty bored so I guess I'll tell you a little tale. I'm 17 I've never had a girlfriend, haven't had my first kiss, still a virgin. Don't get my wrong I'm only 17 I know I shouldn't be frettin. But when I was 14 (freshman year) my mom convinced me to do online school (my parents are divorced and my mom moved a whole state away and this was her way of getting me to see her more. Wish I would've realized that) she tells me I'll graduate early all that kinda ****. So because I don't go to regular highschool anymore I end up not talking to or seeing most of my friends anymore (except about 3 of them). I also don't interact with girls anymore (except that one friend. I feel like I'm turning into such a beta). But while I was in school I was that funny fat kid that everyone knew but didn't really know (I'm going to assume girls didn't find me attractive because I was so fat.), once I did online school though I ended up on my ass even more than ever. Eventually I decided to get off my ass and start going to the gym. Right now I'm benching near 200 and I'm still climbing (people said being fat beforehand helped me out). And now that I'm nearing my 18th birthday I'm 100% sure I'm joining the Marines. Needless to say everybody says that I'm going to die. Which is why I felt like typing this, everybody is basically saying I'm going to die a virgin. 0 Gamerscore.
Pic related, It's what made me want to go to the gym (I couldn't tell you why)
User avatar #46 to #22 - nimba
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
why even go to school if you're going to die
User avatar #68 to #46 - rieskimo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
"Why try to learn or better yourself if you're just going to die"

Everybody dies, that's a fact buddy. One should always strive to be a better person.
#119 to #68 - nimba
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(09/28/2013) [-]
I aint your buddy, guy
User avatar #34 to #22 - fuzzyballs
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
22
had one
lasted 2 weeks, crazy ******* bitch had to die
User avatar #50 to #22 - Gandalfthewhite
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
well before you're sent off go on a wekend trip to amsterdam and **** a **** tonne of hookers (they're 83 euro's btw)
#76 to #22 - vytros
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Hope everything works out for you man, don't give up hope on such a thing as love, it will find you, just don't look constantly for it, also don't totally ignore it

You still got time, even I got my first girfriend this summer, also first kiss and love-making, so just keep on walking.

And don't die. That's the best I can wish for your coming 50-60 years. Cheerio.
User avatar #92 to #22 - xtwinblade
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
you know thats a great story and all... but i cant come with feedback unless you learn how to save a full image instead of the thumbnail
#105 to #22 - swagbot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Good job on the gainz...

...but don't join the marines.
User avatar #112 to #22 - ultimatebadass
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
No worries I didn't lose my V-card till I was 17, start trying to go to some parties that's when I starting to get laid, one of the best ways to meet girls
#117 to #22 - anon id: c0fc1032
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Just do you, dude. All of my respect goes to you for wanting to join the marines and if people say you're gonna die a virgin, so ******* what? You're dying defending your country and that is the sexiest thing I can think of.
User avatar #23 to #22 - aherorising
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
do you have a bigger version of that? I can't read it
#26 to #23 - newhinji **User deleted account**
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
This image has expired
This one should (at least) be readable
#27 to #23 - heterosexual
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
found
#94 to #27 - xtwinblade
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
great example. Look at dwayne, he is huge and he can throw a guy over his head, because of his big stable waist.
User avatar #25 to #23 - imashitbricks
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
No, sorry I saved that years ago and tineye doesn't want to find a bigger version.
User avatar #36 to #22 - sedativechunk
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
That's a stupid thing for people to say to you, just because you join the marines doesn't mean you are going to die. You'll most likely end up getting deployed somewhere someday but not every location in the world is a deadly war zone. And by the way, a very nerdy old friend of mine (whom I don't talk to), he got alot more social and started dating girls when he joined the army. He never even got any better looking but he definitely got around with women. You may meet quiet a few women on-duty. Girls love military men, but just be careful, if you're going away for long periods of time you may not want to get in a committed relationship. Otherwise you won't think straight and girls like to (sadly) cheat. Take it from me, I've had more than one friend join the military (not always the marines but other branches).

Good luck and thank you ahead of time for your service. And don't lose who your humanity! Unfortunately one of my best friends became an egotistical asshole after joining the military. Just keep your head on straight.
User avatar #70 to #36 - rieskimo
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
This, big heaping helpings of this.

I have a lot of military friends. This is good advice.
#32 - braveblue
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
#54 - unbelievable
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
What ex-girlfriend? What girlfriend? Two whole minutes?
What ex-girlfriend? What girlfriend? Two whole minutes?
#104 to #54 - megustan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
I know that feel.
I know that feel.
#110 to #54 - mode
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
It's okay bro.

It's okay.
#69 to #54 - demencialmx
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
#35 - mintyfreshmenthol
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
oh god ******* most awkward bed time ever

>gfs name is Lauren and my ex is Erin both sound similar k?
>after cuddlefux ready to pass out
>"goodnight love you Erin"
>my eyes pop wide open i know whats coming
>"did you just call me Erin?"
>"omg im so sorry !! tried to explain that the names were similar
>the couch was cold that night
User avatar #45 to #35 - nimba
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
call all your girlfriends the same pet name
never have to remember their names
User avatar #67 to #45 - rollmenot
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
at first I thought you meant an actual pet's name. I was like "Why the **** would I call my girl "Pete"? my actual dogs name
User avatar #74 to #67 - Dwarf
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
"OH, SCRAPPY!!!!"
#118 to #45 - anon id: ac4cf064
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
>"goodnight love you faggot"

problem solved
User avatar #1 - Mumford
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(09/26/2013) [-]
Can't wait to see this episode of achievement hunter
User avatar #2 to #1 - iamnotgoodwithname
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(09/26/2013) [-]
three achievements ray wont get
User avatar #102 - OoJesusoO
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Crying is a usual thing? :o
User avatar #106 to #102 - richardastley
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
You're not alone, brother.
User avatar #107 to #106 - OoJesusoO
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
no no no no no. I mean I was suprised that people cry while having sex. I'm not saying it's bad for being emotional at all and in fact, it's great but, I'm still suprised people cry during or after sex.
User avatar #108 to #107 - richardastley
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
I was just joking, dude. It's just a part of the joke, along with "Lasted longer than two minutes." Most people can do that too.
User avatar #18 - Iseewhatudidthar
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
Why would you cry?
User avatar #20 to #18 - habakkuk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
rape
#28 to #18 - imashitbricks
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
You sober up and realize what you're *******.
User avatar #15 - secretdestroyers
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(09/27/2013) [-]
More like "Didn't shout your sister's name."