Unforeseen

Is that a phallus shaped object in your pants or are you poppin' a huge boner at my presence?!


Or... **** ...wait. I think I ****** it up...

I would give you an A for effort, but I can see you want the D.

You can have it.

cheesy pickup lines

But it has to come out as a joke, if not it's just awkward and embarrassing.

Ever feel like there might be a connection between your uncommon opinion on how to pick up girls and your inability to pick up girls?

There are many fish in the sea, but you're the only one I want to mount over my fireplace.

That's actually hilariously cute and could be effective. I'm probably gonna use it or a variation.

"There are many fish in the sea, but you're the only one I want to mount over my fireplace. Or in my bed. Whichever works for you"

I don't think most girls would go for the sex pickup lines.

Well no not literally (unless some whore. I dont know, not likely). But the few ones with a good sense of humor would appreciate and hopefully laugh at it which is all I need; a positive response. I don't expect that line to actually get me some tail

I guess it would depend on your delivery, but some girls would think you were actually trying to get in their pants that night.

Gets 'em every time.

Are you from team rocket? Because every time i see you i'm blasting off.

I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me tonight?

Of course

calm down

I wasn´t trying to be angry or anything......

www.twogag.com/commissions
Ask him/her.

eeehhhhh, what if he/she doesn´t draw porn, and doesn´t comissions cost momey?

Are you a beaver? Cause Daaaaaam

Thrown in the microwave and put on the table.

...hot, black and with two lumps

Wet?

with a spoon in them

Ground up and in the freezer

that caught me so off guard oh lawd

i dont get the cans part

Cans is one of the many terms that can be used when referencing breasts, along with such classics as ta-tas, funbags, gazongas, etc.

My personal favourite is chesticles

shoulder boulders, holy molys, oh daaaaaaayams, zip zapady doos

ohh thanks i didnt know that one

no problem

**acemcgunner rolled user youknewmymane **

awesome..

Also, this makes me so bloody happy to not be in the market for a relationship anymore. Never had a problem hitting on girls, but I was always scared to **** it up.

Same bro

I had the blessing of having them come to hit on me most of the time, if it had fell unto my hands to do that I'd probably never have had a relationship.

That is the exact same with me

Yup. Same here. A girl once bumped in to me, and... well... that's all the female contact I've had...
Well okay, maybe it's not the same here...

I suppose that her skin tone is latina

Given the hair colour, she's probably a caucasian who's been living in a sunny place for a while.

Not sure if it's related, but it's funny

You shouldn't yolomode anything

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Haha all is well, that made me laugh.

A cartoon?

I have a feeling I will only bring trouble by going any further so I think I'll stop here.

At least you got out there, now go find a girl with low self esteem who just got dumped or is wasted at a party and have fun.

this.

Girls with low self esteem are the best, I know from personal experience. (But only in terms of sexy fun time. Not so much relationship-wise but I didn't care cuz I didn't even like her like that)

They'll do pretty much anything for you because they think you're way out of their league.

Oh yes, you know what I'm talking about.

oh yeaaa

I went out with one for like a month who a total slut but a virgin.

She was suuuper easy and on our 2nd date she blew me in a movie theater while watching django unchained. Yes it was pretty childish but id never had sex in public so it was exciting.

She liked me way more than I liked her so I asked her to do things with me I'd never think to ask a respectable girl. It was fantastic.

Then I "broke up" with her by telling her I simply didn't like her and she got really pissed and a few days later texted me an essay about how im an asshole. And then a few days after that she texted again asking to be friends with benefits.

bitches be trippin

Are... are you a blue named version of me? I was the exact same way with my ex, she had only had sex once (and apparently it lasted a few minutes lol guy was a 1 pump chump) I lost interest real quick, and I nailed her on our first date in my car right behind her house, while her mom slept inside. I would go over to her house every day after work and have sex and she did everything I told her to do.

just some advice, when you ask for a number say whats your number, or i just take out my phone and hand them it to put there number in. youre a lot less likely to be rejected

I find it a LOT more effective to tell the girl to give you her number instead of asking for it.

Usually I say something like "so listen you sound like a pretty cool girl. You should give me your number, I'd love to get to know you better"

yea its all about the confidence in the end, as long as youre comfortable and make her feel comfortable youre fine

pic is her obviously. I think she's really damn cute

Confidence is key, a lot of guys dont realize this.

I got an easy 8/10imo girl (who was a complete stranger to me) by walking up to her in the gym and simply saying "excuse me can I talk to you for a second? I know this is really forward but I think you're really cute and I'd definitely be kicking myself in the ass later if I didn't come up and talk to you. (Then I asked for her name and where she went to school just so I could if it was a high school or college to get an idea of her age) and said "Alright I gotta go but you should give me your number, I'd love to talk to you again sometime."


That's it. A 2 minute conversation and it's that simple. And I do admit that probably couldve sounded creeperish to a different girl but this one seemed really flattered and actually told me a few weeks later how impressed she was because not a lot of guys would have the balls to pull something like that.

nice, she is really damn cute!

thanks
But i was just trying to use this story to illustrate how "pick up lines" are pointless and that a simple and QUICK conversation suffices to still pull hotties ;)

haha yea thats what lots of guys dont understand, girls just want to be talked to they are like spiders, they are more afraid of you then you are of them

The biggest problem with all these guys complaining about how they cant get a girlfriend is because they're pussies. They'd never pull something like that I described two comments ago. What happened to the standard that guys are supposed to be the manly men who chase women? When did guys of this generation turn into pussies? I dont get it man. There's more 'emotional' posts of guys being sad because theyre in the friendzone than posts by girls about being in relationships. When did guys get more emotional than girls?



I just dont get it man.

I am now laughing my ass off. Thank You!