diarrhea. .. MFW I work in a convenience store and a woman wouldn't stop telling me about how her and her husband had "the diarrhea." Color, consistency, frequency
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User avatar #1 - ezzay (09/18/2013) [+] (11 replies)
"I didn't have sex with another woman, i had diarrhea."
'' I didn't rob a bank, i had diarrhea"
Sorry OP, it doesn't work for everything
User avatar #6 to #1 - coolioplasm (09/19/2013) [-]
It was a cold saturday afternoon, and I was coming home early. I entered my house and heard my husband moaning. "Oh, oh, oh, oh" I heard him yelling. I instantly thought "He's cheating on me!" I waited in the living room for him and his whore. When he came out, I said "HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME!?"
He instantly replied|
"I didn't have sex with another woman, I had diarrhea"
yes it does
#2 - mbasm (09/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
MFW I work in a convenience store and a woman wouldn't stop telling me about how her and her husband had "the diarrhea." Color, consistency, frequency, quantity, number of days afflicted.
MFW I work in a convenience store and a woman wouldn't stop telling me about how her and her husband had "the diarrhea." Color, consistency, frequency, quantity, number of days afflicted.
#21 - drewsky (09/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Why did you kill 17 people?

I had diarrhea.
#15 - mrtbb (09/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
That lie is really 						******					.
That lie is really ****** .
#5 - doggstar (09/19/2013) [+] (2 replies)
works for my work, having gastro can shut a restaurant down if youre not careful
#14 to #5 - livinglegacy (09/19/2013) [-]
"How'd you manage to get your whole restaurant shut down?"
"I wasn't careful enough and accidentally **** in the soup."
User avatar #9 - supamonkey (09/19/2013) [-]
Called in sick with this before:
"Hey boss, I'm... not sure that I can come in today."
"What's wrong?"
"Well I had some take-out the other day and I haven't been able to move far from the toilet."
"Oh, okay then, I find someone to cover."
User avatar #30 - kolya (01/26/2014) [-]
Wanna bet!!!
User avatar #19 - BroadSword (09/19/2013) [-]
Interesting story about a man who would ride a bike through the berlin wall to other side of the city each day with a bag of sand on the bike. Each time the guards would open the bag to search for something illegal, but after finding nothing wrong would let him through. The bag was only there to distract them from the fact he was smuggling different bikes each time.
User avatar #17 - benjamino (09/19/2013) [-]
I had to go into college and explain to my tutor (man in charge of my learning) that I wasn't feeling well enough to come in. I said I wasn't well and he started saying that it really wasn't worth me missing time for just a bit of illness.

I told him I had diarrhea and was vomiting. He said go home and get some rest.
User avatar #16 - dartharc (09/19/2013) [-]
I can confirm what the duck is saying.
User avatar #13 - azzurri (09/19/2013) [-]
They won't follow through... because you already have.
#12 - ayehateyawrflaws (09/19/2013) [-]
I didn't have diarrhea, I has diarrhea!
#4 - anonymous (09/19/2013) [-]
I usually ask if it was the burning kind or the kind that just shoots out and leaves you clean. One is bad, the other just feels good.
#7 - sirmagnar (09/19/2013) [-]
******* GENIUS!!
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