/tg/ storytime. most enjoyable ending.. D Anonymous / 24/ ( Tue) DI No 20013482 [V] Alight, see one, nts Mme non an awesome games thread BM Okay guys, (me to sw
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/tg/ storytime

most enjoyable ending.

D Anonymous / 24/ ( Tue) DI No 20013482 [V]
Alight, see one, nts Mme non an awesome games thread
BM Okay guys, (me to swaths game What ane you guys playng?
monent (m playng a h amen barbaras He Inked bane a we too much and got wnan out en Inns
BM Okay, sounds good How about you, Anon?
we Well an n also rolled up a barbaras He' s a human though Mm: new nu we shadup ewe same mountain Inns mine We but new keen wene v are h mes wene Thais no me and Frend 1 met
BM Hun, okay gguess we can make stwong And what about you guys?
manerds 2 3 and 4 all look at each other
monent 3 Well uh ye all rolled barbarous too
mthe BM wens at all en Us then was through Inns notes (urine next couple obsessions and wnan s an an about half en l
BM Well, gents, net' s nucking downs
And so began oun campaign
VI D Anonymous / 24/ ( Tue) DI 22 No 20013638 [v] "
Well, sence you guys asked w start wnan a on backstory
These guys have been my theads non a longtime now They wene the not people n even played D& D wnan, and l had been we some Mme sence I' d roleplayed wnan them So, when my mend who had usually been a player suggested we all try and play
wenn, we jumped on the chance
wene ane Sm onus, BM Me, who w/ l be Anon non the purposes ohms story, Fiend 1, who shall be J, Fiend 2, who shall be T, Fiend 3, who shall be G, and Fiend 4, who shall be M
Now, n was one to playtoy DEX characters, rogues, rangers and the nake, so n saw tnns game as annonce to change up my enoying style However, wene all pretty nucking bad and wene pretty busy people, so we ddnt really
talk about the kw! we would be enoying
so the nooned around, we all snow up on (me wnan and maincharacter sheets and take mussels anount the table Antenna shock Mme nananan realbacon, we laugh l on and start enoying
BM so the we ofyou ane seated amass Mme cty He gazes balefully at you
I I' m sonny, but my characters INT scone IS T wands mean?
We snackin
BM IS man who make law IS angely
I Okay
BM swang a sheaf on papers between In hands maknig at you wenn bale? en, angely, he tells you ohaithere ane a number that need to be apprehended He stands up and hands you the Inst
we BM gaves me a Inst Annam's, , neesons non warrant, and bounty amounts l oven nu my hands, staning Intently at the paperboy all angles, then turn to the BM
Me cant read
We all engine wenn we BM signs
I D Anonymous 07/ 24/ ) 01 58 on
My apologys, tnns IS set nu 3 5
G names In hand
G My characterful He has an INT scone
We all nook at mm nu
G nts true Hm name IS sen Gregg, Esquire He' s a nobleman Anson's
we BM puts Inns head nu no hands
BM n REALLY should have nocked beforehand, but all continue
G proceeds to read out the Inst Mme we nesten, completely enraptured by no to read, winch IS concertos all on Alter a on bakeing, we decade the not person wene gonig to track down IS a nonse ' s
set up came a new leagues outside Mme town
I D Anonymous / 24/ ( Tue) 24 No 20014240 [v]
Sorry tnns IS taking so long, I' m wanting (mm memory and I' m not the fastest typer
a Alter a long we out to the fadeout Mme nonse ther, danng winch we encased Gregg a not non no astounding to read, we Many get to the cave system he' d been using (a Mme cached, n know, but the BM IS aim (mugs)
We dismount, and alter anew minutes on planing, decade that wene gonig to try and sneak uppotte entrance
BM Well, the antennas acouple posted
M Okay guys, n have an mes Let' s desguise one onus as annee and sneak up on them
We all agnew tnns IS mes
BM Foe, nonn then
M nonas check, and we anal mm, mm a m to desguise as annee He nonas a 13, winch gaves mm a roll, maknig l a success Hm nonn to sneak, however, IS another stony, he nonas a 5, winch takes because he' s
desguised as
BM we sanne: mince you
M Ices! Sleep on them
We all nook at M nake has gone bananas
I You sad you wene a barbaras
M n am, Just Mien
He then proceeds to tell us now no barbaras pulls out no sock, wave l anount enacting nonsense non anew seconds, then pant l at the two guards, snouting, "SLEEP NON' Both M' s barbaras and the guards ane perplexed; the barbaras
because he doesnt know why the spell ddnt work, and the guards because they dont know what the **** IS happeing
so M' s barbaras dd the annything a barbaras would plushly do nu that get frustrated and bash them wanns head wnan no _
wand son" outland
VI D Anonymous / 24/ ( Tue) 52 No 20014514 [v]
n wasnt really expecing to storytime, n was Just maknig a coon games thread
We love tnns turn on events, and even the BM cracks awn at the creater roleplaying We decade ohaithere' s no neason non us to even attempt to sneak anount insade the fadeout, and Instead on to break down the doon We cleave and bash outway
ennough plenty on baddies, eventually reaching the chambers Mme nonse the?
BM Hm chambers ane draped nu all sons onenote and clan's, wnan ancano scrawny walls wene ane books everywhere, and atop amann pedestal a skull wnan a Pentagram on the bonehead gaines down at you wnan a malevolent ann
He proceeds to read We long, speech bythe "muse ther' about the comm] Mme end on all (mugs Alter patently wanting l out, we combat, quckly Wayne NPC, and hack terms head and thumbs
T Okay, net' s get out on here
BM Buttong you want to nook anount some more?
G We already got everyting out ohms place, net' s Just take on
BM But what about no books
Me Dude, wene nucking biebanana Whatthe hell ane we gum; to do wnan books?
D Anonymous / 24/ ( Tue) No 20014514 [v]
we BM nuns, buoyant really do anytihng to stop us sence he annons / readig so we sinks back out towards the town, serened head and thumbs dangling nu a sack owe skis Mme nonse
avenue course Mme game, winch unfortunately only nested about atwa dozen on so sessions due to college gettnig nu the way and funtime, we connect each oneness outlaws, and each (me they have a pretty setup gonig
on a seemingly mundane nu obssession on magill Items And, each Mme wthout% l, oun somene mends would mos out on the connection, redistricted by sany (mugs and other , and on to runny anyone
about what was gonig on nu teese Ian:
But, n have to tell you, l was a hell Ma we we tossed on occasions, and nu one instance ended up insade the guts pragnant He proceeded to hack IS way althrough no body, cut the naan out on I, and burst out Mm: chest,
then take a tremendous his out on the organ We wene all a move wand on mm alter that Probably my west moment nu combat nononno occurred danng tnns campaign, too; we wene a gnome on Greater Backrests, and n
andjust been dammed Not about to lay down and net teese (mugs eat my face, n nooned a 19 on a leanest one wins an and swang l about, other Backrests manna negatives iwasnt content wnan Just that,
enougn, there was sun one standing , so n nooned a ************* and, nu a scene out on Bonn Fort, tossed the the other Baconest
But n duress
I D Anonymous / 24/ ( Tue) No 20014681 [v]
Begynte oun best ems to continue meeting, the Mme Many came when oun boisterous gnome on brawny biebanana was to disband we' d uneven a hundred [mes overtone , stoney wene awarding each onus wnan a small parcel on
land and a good deal on gold
sen Gregg would Many be a naan nand, wnan naan peasants and naan , and wot Headboard the have no very own, genuine dwarven tavern to destroy every nu nage and bu/ d back up wenn nu the mommy was
topcontent to settle down, so he planned to sell the land, get an even baggin axe wnan the money, and hnd the legendary plane , where he cound haht, dunk, and wence non all eternety He eventually got there, but that' s anotherdude nonn
became the most famous Muscle Wyzant nu the land, and planned to use no gold, land, and annoyence to start a sincon non no unique brand on magic
Bitrate, the BM, and fungoid mend J, had other plans
You sanne pug (352 KB, )
Hm gun was absolutely malleus as he sat benned no scheen and descibed the mien us as we wene awarded oun It was as nane' d Many noend away to get back at us no campaign so ,
so , ohaithere was no way nu hell he was tthe way he' d planned to so he decoded to try and doine next best thog nonn all on
What l honed down to was tnns Each Mme outlaws had been part Mme same seeking to reconnect beast winch slumbered beneath the townsend nts name had been Inst to the ages, but had
surived, and some bight bulb decoded he wanted to see tnns Fortunately non us, the contests had mucked vetnern spells wthout beeng able to Nuns out now to get the spell to actavate Unfortunately non us, benned oun backs, I and the BM
had conserned to make I the wan onece Mme puzzle, winch would awaken the flambeing moisten and [hopefully) km us all
BM As you stand stage, cheking throngs all anount you, you' all suddenly jostled out Mme way
I n shove the party asda and toss the mayor away pedestal come here on tnns day But n am here to tell you that tnns day heralds houndooms" Wnan those words, n draw my longsword, and plunge my own
heart, nanjing owe stage onto the ground nu Wont on l
faces when
22350 341753 .3123 , 414x356)
BM we ground quakes and begans nanjing apart, and gnashing onthean using up knacking earth Two hundred yards away, an sums section Mme town reappears, sendung beneath the ground as sometihng
massive suns Moments later, (mm the bowers Mme earth, the Unnamed one noes, nts many tentacles about nts head nu a bloody new as nts consoling ends we scream and perm,
runnang nu every nu than naan Women and ch/ dren scream and cry, the ond and weak ane enameled underfoot, and men go mad at the srgnt a monstrosity It opens nts seven goinng mews, nooses a mounty naan,
and begans clanging towards you
Roll non (F
Agana, oun nucking faces when
VI D Anonymous / 24/ [ Tue) 59 No 20014875 [v] WW
We all nonn reasonably well njet a 15, M gets a 15, G gets a 19, and T nonas a 13
Unfortunately, the BM knew we' d do fanny well on oun , soto penalty to that Massive creatures take, he stacked Improved Intitle on the moisten sometihng nake we totes, and Luck/ y, he gave us tnns noend to
enplane, as l would take at least two turns non the beast to get wenn where we wene We went nato a quck nuddin, made oun plan, and stood charge
Have you even imagened what l would be nake to be beset upon by a kraken, when you' armed only wnan on magic eowyn and dubious oran? How about Mina! kraken was on land, cound cast seven's level 3 spells as abates, eschewing both
laterals and somatic components, and dd damage per swang? wars what l was nake moisten you, knwe hadnt inundated an amaziong amount engand (mm each Mme hideouts due to BM hat nu treasure , we wouldnt
have stood annonce As l was, we wene gettnig summoned, and we needed to end mks! Sot passes me a note n nook at mm, and solemnly nod my head
VI D Anonymous 07/ 24/ ) 04 " No 20014905 [v]
BM Anon, the noend passes to you What ane youn actors?
Me n turn to wot, who grabs my nonfans as n grab In
T 'l Jest want ye to know, twas the greatest nonon n even knew ninten' alongside ye (F
Me libel deans well up nu my eyes, and n see them weaning up nu Unis too n hand mm my Panama Hone, and he takes out In Bag
T 'Now toss me, you sodding minoan, one pasttime (F
we BM nooks stunned
BM Roll nonn
n nooned n cound say l was a natural twenty, because by Kent l But twasnt It was a nineteen wnan my mounten, and the neat (mm Complete nets you toss (mugs better, that added win a 31
Me n senn wot around, deans streaming down my face nato my beard as n do so, and toss mm manna goinng maw Mme Unnamed one
BM T, the noend passes to you You take 23 events damage and 47 events on and damage, winch Mugs you to three HP
T n put the Panama Hone nu the Bag
we BM nooks at us, then at In notes, then neins back nu In Chan!
BM A portal opens up, sucking you and the Unnamed one manna Astral Plane
We all passed oun checks to amd beeng sucked ennough, meticulously Everyone was quot non anew minutes antennae we BM nocked as nine was cycling between pure, unadulterated fury and helpless at the defeat Mm: was I
Just nocked sennen, he wanted us to dne wnan mm, moisten nu such an epnc way
we town burnt a statue to wot non In Towns day, the townsend and the other party members nake to thunk has on some betten plane, one wnan nots on booze and n know , because, as out, he was
But, nake n sand begone, that' s a story non
...
-1
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Submitted: 09/16/2013
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User avatar #3 - penispenisthree (09/16/2013) [+] (2 replies)
my best dnd moment was playing as my massive half orc, Kantus Serran. He was 7 feet tall, 320 pounds, and had a starting strength stat of 22 (plus the 2 past the 20 cap because of the racial bonus) I was the drunk fighter in a group of elven rouges and a human mage, I had a keg of tar based alcohol that the DM gave me special when we started, didnt give it a name, just said that a shot glass full of it would be enough to knock out a normal person for a day and two would kill them outright. I would chug a mug before every fight, and then down 2 shots in real life just to keep in character. SO. on to the winning story, and how my drunk ideas got our mage killed. We were fighting a stone golem that had been terrorizing a town, our mage was pinned beneath its foot because he tried to stay still and cast instead of running like hell, and im standing there, mug in one hand, sword in the other, and this is late in the session, so ive had around 6 or 7 shots over the course of 5 or 6 hours in play. I tell the DM on my turn, "I down the mug, and sprint to the golem" golem sees me and starts to grind its foot down on our mage "I jump at the golem and swing my sword at the bastards balls. I WANT TO CUT OFF HIS GIANT STONY DICK"
DM just looks at me "golems dont have dicks."
me "I DONT CARE *rolls- natural 20*"
DM "....fine.......as you swing your sword the golem suddenly grows a massive erect pillar of rock from its groin, complete with two boulders below it. which you proceed to cut off with your sword."
me "HELLLL YEAH. NO MORE ROCK BABIES"
DM "the golem rears back in pain and steps off Mage"
Me "yeahhhhhhhh saved him and ****** up a golem! get at me bitches!"
DM "the severed cock falls on mage, it crushes him dealing *rolls* oh wait no hes dead.
me "oh....turns to mage....im sorry you were crushed by the cock of my doing"
mage "slaps me upside the head and goes back to texting"
me "turns to DM can I chug another mug and loot his body?"
User avatar #1 - qwarthos (09/16/2013) [-]
I don't know anything about D&D but for I know this story was fantastic and I want to play it now
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