Calm down Satan. Stop eating my food. This "Bag of Candy" is actually Air Freshener Crystals- Left it out because ppl like to eat my stuff all the time. Should  bag candy

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User avatar #3 - enemyoftrn (09/13/2013) [+] (8 replies)
And be arrested for attempted murder.
#4 to #3 - banditowolf (09/13/2013) [-]
I don't see anything wrong with that
User avatar #5 - nightmarecorpse (09/13/2013) [-]
Back in my old house my roomates always ate my food when I wasn't around. I even labelled my **** , so there was no excuse. Then one day I made a sandwich with cat litter and left it in the fridge. Now nobody steals my food anymore.
#9 - BerryLicious (09/13/2013) [+] (5 replies)
A friend bought me a box of soaps and bath stuff for Christmas last year from Lush. For those of you who don't know, a lot of their products look and smell like certain foods, and the box is packed with popcorn. As a 21 year old woman, I took a chomp out of what I believed was a cake, and have never used a Lush product since.
User avatar #11 to #9 - mattyjay (09/13/2013) [-]
In high school, I went on a date with a girl and she went into Lush, dragging me with her, then the worker helped us as she looked at some jelly cubes, it said try me everywhere and even the bloke was encouragin us, so I popped one in my mouth.

Oh god why.
#34 - commandershit (09/14/2013) [-]
MFW title
#37 - thebobinito ONLINE (09/14/2013) [-]
#26 - caramelfox (09/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I would be one of those people that pukes all over the room because I forgot to read the bag.
I would be one of those people that pukes all over the room because I forgot to read the bag.
User avatar #21 - scorpidea (09/13/2013) [+] (5 replies)
My stepmother (a nurse) had a "large" co-worker who stole peoples food at the nurses station in a nursing home she worked at. So one day she popped popcorn, and "flavored" it with a small amount patients diarrhea. Just shook it up in it real good. Then specifically told said thief to NOT touch it...with witnesses. 20 minutes was 3/4 gone. In walks step mom, who right out loud front of thief... who ate the diarrhea corn. Step mom still almost got fired instead of thief..
#39 - kashin (09/14/2013) [+] (1 reply)
When I was like 5 and in grade school, I discovered these little bags of vanilla sugar that my mom used to bake pies with. It looked tasty, so I had a taste, and found out it tasted delicious, so every day before school I would sneak a little bag of vanilla sugar to school with me and be eating little bits of it over the course of the day.

Other kids started asking me what that stuff I was eating was, and before I knew it, kids were asking me for some of my vanilla sugar every day.

I then saw an opportunity to mess with the other kids, so I emptied one of the little bags and filled it with flour (which looked the same), and duct taped it back shut. I remember, 5 y/old me thought watching the kids cringe as they realized it wasn't what they were expecting was the funniest thing in the world.
User avatar #36 - loonquawl ONLINE (09/14/2013) [-]
Ooo piece of candy!
#31 - vparrish (09/14/2013) [-]
You are evil! my mom left them out in a candy bowl so they would freshen the air. I see it and then think oooh candy and grab one and toss it in my mouth. It was most definitely not candy. On the plus side, my breath smelled like strawberries for the rest of the day.
#16 - anonymous (09/13/2013) [-]
do that except with bath salts, now you have an interesting story
#15 - jvcjvc (09/13/2013) [-]
I once noticed that some of my chocolates were missing over time, so i decided to wipe my ass in some of them. The problem did not stop however, so i just threw them all out.
User avatar #8 - PigeonOnKrak (09/13/2013) [-]
When I was a kid, I got a bar of colourful, fruity soap at Christmas.
Of course, my child self reasoned that it looked like a tasty treat and I bit right in.
#29 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu ONLINE (09/14/2013) [-]
Looks like a vagina   
We all know what to do
Looks like a vagina
We all know what to do
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