Something has been bugging me for a while now and
I' only Just now figured out why it bugs me. See,
I' m Autistic. (and no, I didn' t become "an autist" because
I wanted to be a Hipster or some dumb shit, I Just pulled
the evolutionary short straw.)
Now I' m fine with people making 'nigger' Jokes.
I' m Me with people making 'British' Jokes.
Same with pretty much everything. All shit exists to be
parodied and fuck any dumbfucks who say otherwise.
But these "Autism Entendres" Jokes and generally this
whole craze of likening hipsters and bronies to autism' s
gotten stuck in my craw and I can never see it and not
want to say something. I figured it was because I fit the
description of being Autistic but I think it' s something
I DON' T WANT Tio'
You see... they' re not autistic. They' re Just another fashion
trend focussed around "ironically" dressing up like geeks.
Note: Not nerds. Nerds are smart
and look like this. Hipsters want to
be geeks! But in 'trying' to be
geeks they fail the most important
part of being a geek!
Geeks are Just people who really
give a shit about something. Not
because it' s fashionable but because
they think it' s fucking awesome!
How does this differ from Autism, I hear you ask?
Shut up! Tootally heard you!
Autism is when you' re fucked up in the brain outside
of acceptable deviation. Which means if you' re past
a certain line in how your brain works you' re Autistic.
Green = Normal
Nightwish Red = Autistic
Those amongst you who are neither retards nor
colourblind should spot that the pink circle is much bigger
than the green one and that' s because there are a lot of
crazy fucking ways your brain can go wrong and here' s
the most irritatingly unclear part of it:
ALL OF THAT PINK
Yeah, you "normals" (as we in the defnitely real autistic
illuminati) are the minority in terms of the possibilities.
However you' re also the vast majority in numbers so it' s
safe to assume you guys are the industry standard and
it' s us who' re not Fring on all cylinders.
So, why does any of this shit matter? Because the kind of
autism that hipsters are trying to replicate is most oftern
asperger' s syndrome (pronounced asspen/ s if you' re
sensible and aidsburgers if you' re not. I don' t mind,
take your pick.)
This is one of the forms of autism that
twerks your brain into a different, more logical way of
thinking. It' s less a mistake in the brain and more of an
alternate modernist. It does come with the downsides of
Fading it difficult to figure out what other people are
feeling. (Getting punched in the face is a simple enough
indicator but shit is a pain in the ass.)
Focus, attention to detail and retention of facts comes
This creates what I call "The Perfect Geeksters". Social
pariah with a big attention to detail and a sponge for
a . Just introduce something interesting
and in a day they' ll know it inside, outside, upside and
downs( syndrome) ide.
If you haven' t guessed yet, this is my particular poison.
But I' met a lot of other guys on the spectrum and
they range from lovable idiots to "I' ll rip your teeth out
and carve my name into your chest with them!"
Fun fact: Someone actually said that to me. He is a nice
guy if you don' t beat him at Guitar Hero...)
Autism is so varied and every case is so unique that it' s
like saying Rock and Hardcore Gregorian Dubstep Chants
the same because they' re both forms of music. You' re
right but it doesn' t do it Justice.
Hipsters think they' re autistic because they want to be
a special snowflake but they have no understanding of
it and frankly neither do most people I Md using that
term on , which is a shame 'cus you' re better than that.
so don' t go calling people "autists" because they' re
hipsters. Call them what they deserved to be called.
FAG G OTS l