perfect date. . Assburger story inbound. Yesterday my mom scheduled a date fer me (Yeah, I know) with her friends daughter. She is fucking MATERIAL, HOLY FUCK.  Krautchan int ASSburgers cringe
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perfect date

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Assburger story inbound.
Yesterday my mom scheduled a date fer me (Yeah, I know) with her friends
daughter. She is fucking MATERIAL, HOLY FUCK. She is a ginger, with nice
sized breasts. HUGE ASS, and great face- We met at cheese cake factory
rather fancy restaurant} and apparently my mom AND her mom showed up as
well. It was awkward as fuck and we didn' t say a word until my mom said "So
berm, tell her about those wee games mu play." I started sweating, and my
mind went blank. What the fuck did my mom just do. The grill (her ner name is
Patricia} just stared at me with a weird glare fer like 30 minutes, until our feed
came out.
well, since herna didn' t answer my question, he likes playing games en his computer. Usually he plays strategy
games where he can take over the world er shooting games, that' s my "
I excused myself fer the bathroom and just sat alone on the stall until I thaught they were done eating. My mom
COMES INTO THE BATHROOM, THE MENS FUCKING BATHROOM, and says "Bernd, are you alright? your date
is waiting on you." I tried to pretend like I wasn' t in the stall so I lifted my legs up onto the tennet_ So my mom
crawls under the stall to look fer me. I kicked her head, and ran out M the restaurant, I walked home.
I really wish I was making this up.
...
+99
Views: 16624 Submitted: 08/30/2013
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[ 34 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #13 - toastiepie
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
Patricia the Grill sounds really hot
User avatar #30 to #13 - camdonwin
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
rite cause she's a grill Ha
#32 to #13 - deletedmyaccount
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
Yeah, but I hear she's a high steaks gambler.
User avatar #5 - daghost
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(08/30/2013) [-]
I was expecting to find out that the girl liked videogames too.

But instead I got sad.
User avatar #9 to #5 - droner
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
That's a very nice profile pic you have there
User avatar #14 to #5 - daviid
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
i feel what you mean bro, ***** saddening like ****
#24 to #5 - anon id: 08b47497
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
i expected that after he went to the bathroom for a while he'd come to the conclusion that it was a flop, walk out like a man, apologize to his date, offer to call her out for a formal date, and then walk out of the restaurant like a gentleman. that's better than just waiting for your mother to come into the bathroom, peek under the stall at you and then kick her in the face before running off, besides if he'd manned up she may have given him a second shot.
User avatar #1 - crazyolitis
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(08/30/2013) [-]
Who the **** names their kid Bernd? That's justasking for trouble.
User avatar #2 to #1 - kirkbot [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/30/2013) [-]
it's the short version of Bernhard
#8 to #2 - caramelfox
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
If that was my kid's name, I'd just call them Burnie, not Bernd...
If that was my kid's name, I'd just call them Burnie, not Bernd...
User avatar #10 to #8 - kirkbot [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
Burnie/Bernie would be the English version
Bernd is the German version
User avatar #3 to #2 - crazyolitis
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/30/2013) [-]
Oh. Well that makes sense.
User avatar #4 to #3 - akho
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(08/30/2013) [-]
No it doesn't. Stop with the ****** names.
User avatar #29 to #4 - metalmind
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
#21
#15 to #1 - Aerosmither
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
The same on who names their kid Bort.
User avatar #31 to #1 - camdonwin
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
not enough vowels
User avatar #33 to #1 - hawaiianhappysauce
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
I think that's part of the joke. I mean "grill", bernd sounds like "burned."
User avatar #21 to #1 - huszti
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
he probably isn't named Bernd. the post is from krautchan, were anons are named Bernd so he just used Bernd as a substitute name like 4chan does with anon.
but yeah, Bernd is a ****** name.
#20 - sjrigney
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
I don't get why he had to kick his mom in the head. He could have just walked out of the stall, no?    
   
   
Regardless, that sucks.
I don't get why he had to kick his mom in the head. He could have just walked out of the stall, no?


Regardless, that sucks.
#26 to #20 - anon id: b6d5b625
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
because she is a massive cunt
#36 to #20 - anon id: e7cb8433
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
Because he has Aspergers. I think part of it is the fact that they don't react to social interaction the same way "normal" people do.
User avatar #6 - lordscooby
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/30/2013) [-]
poor guy
User avatar #11 to #6 - stoicnick
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
**** happens i guess....this makes me scared to go on dates...
User avatar #16 to #11 - theshinypen
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
grow up.
#17 to #16 - stoicnick
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
don't tell me what to do
User avatar #23 to #17 - smithforprez
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
just don't go on dates with your mom, and if a date is **** leave.
User avatar #18 to #17 - happyslaphappy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
can relate to person in question since I have autism, and it isn't something I can out-grow.
User avatar #22 - smithforprez
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
how can it be a date if your parents are with you? that is ******* awful, A it's none of your parents ******* business who you date, and B If a parent sets up a date, and is a part of the date, its not a ******* date, what could they possibly do but sit there quietly and be mortally embarrassed?

The grill may have been forced by her mom to go on a date with this dude out of a sense of pity, but if hes not ready to date its not gonna happen regardless.
#28 - tazze
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
how dense can that woman be, I mean, really?
how dense can that woman be, I mean, really?
User avatar #35 - willindor
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
I would wee on her head if this ever occurs to me.
#25 - lookathecomment
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/31/2013) [-]
Lightbulb's a hero.
[ 34 comments ]
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